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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Should I give him a hall pass?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
Ok I know it might sound crazy to you and let's just pretend for arguments sake that divorce is NOT an option.

My DH and I have not had sex in a year. He's emotionally, financially, and verbally abusive even though he'd never admit it and just tells me I'm crazy and lucky to have a husband like him.

I've been trying to recover from PPD and anxiety. We have 2 toddlers. I gained 50lbs with them and have been having a hard time losing it due to my MS and thyroid issues. I feel disgusting. He makes me feel disgusting. His 2 main questions to me is 1) did you take your meds today? And 2) did you work out today?...if either if a no, it's a huge fight, sometimes ending in his threats for divorce. I'm a SAHM. He works long shifts. The thought of splitting and dividing time with our kids terrifies us both enough to stick it out. We're pretty toxic to eachother right now, disagree on everything I think out of spite. We're both Aries if anyone knows what I mean about that...

Anyways..I know he's never cheated (you might not believe me but I know where he is at all times, 100%..by means) I don't know if he would even if I did give him a "hall pass".
But that's how much the thought of sex with him makes me cringe. It's not an unattraction. He's attractive. It's that I feel like I'd be just used as a hole while he reels porn through his head because I'm too disgusting to look at. He's acknowledged how much I've changed and how he doesn't like it. He's told me he hates me numerous times but then turns around and calls me beautiful and that he loves me. So why would I turn around and willingly have sex with him? It's gotten to me thinking anything he says nice is just him trying to get off, by any means, even enduring sex with his fat housewife. I just can't bring myself to not cry thinking about doing it. It's not like Id get into it, I'd just lay there anyways because I feel so unsexy. Why would he even WANT to have sex with that????

So should I give him permission to go elsewhere?

PS- I just realized this sounds bad enough to possibly look like a troll. I assure you it's my life :/
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
o.O....
by Cara on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:23 PM
Oh yeah. That will fix everything.
Don't you people realize that when you allow yourself to be treated this way you're modeling what is acceptable behavior to your children? Do you want your children to live the same life as you?
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MissTuree
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:25 PM
Doing that is just bringing more problems to the table.

So when he starts having an affair with a thinner, 'more attractive' woman, that's not going to make you feel even worse? Or when he makes remarks about how wonderful the other woman/women are, that will make you feel better? It's not worth it IMO.
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RaynesMommy07
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I think marriage counseling would do wonders. Also it seems like you're in a rut. Get a gym membership with kid care and start doing things for YOU. DON'T do it for him but for you.
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xboybrksgrlx
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Why be miserable for the rest of your life? Great example of a relationship to your kids.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:34 PM

Get drunk and let him have you. Sometimes sex heals. I was the same way with my dh. I could count the times in 2 years that we had sex on 1 hand. That's bad. It might be hard at first, but it will get easier and it sounds like you both need to get laid.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Life is too short. Get the fuck out of the marriage. Do you think him sticking his dick in someone else is going to make you feel better? Because its not. Quit trying to make him so happy, he obviously isn't as concerned when it comes to you.

EvilAsh
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Divorce is an option. Use it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this
To answer this simply, no.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:38 PM
Only if that hall pass goes both ways.
BAMdebikins
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:39 PM

I'd never. IDC how unhappy we are. You and he took vows, respect them, or let each other go.

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