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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Wait, I am supposed to watch them for free while dh pays childsupport? edit

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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6 moms liked this

My dh's ex wife found out that she is not going to be able to get much time off this summer. The court order says that dh gets 5 weeks and she gets 5 weeks. The court order takes in to account all the time DH spends with the kids so he will still pay child support for the 5 weeks they are with us. But that's ok because the time they spend with us takes off of the child support over the year, if they didn't take that into account, he would be paying something like $400 a week.

But she told him that for 3 of her 5 weeks, she needs the kids to be with us during the day because she will be working 60 hour weeks (so that she can have the other 2 weeks off). Now DH works during the day so since they will only be here during the day, it won't give him much if any extra time with them. I said I was willing to watch them but if I do, she needs to either pay me. DH pays $240 a week for the 3 kids. I think that if I am going to be the one with them 12 hours a day, feeding them all three meals and taking them off, I don't think it's fair that DH pay child support. So I told her I will do it for $240 a week (she will write me a check, DH will write her one, this way she can't say DH just didn't pay). That is $80 a week per kid for about 13 hours a day 5 days a week. Last year I watched 2 kids for $250 a week so I feel I am giving her a good deal.

When I told her what I was willing to do, she cussed me out and said that they should be welcome to be in their dad's home anytime. Well he won't be home, I will be and I will be the one taking care of them (they are 5, 7 and 10) and as I have been told many times, I am just the step mom, I am not the parent" (which I agree with it but don't tell me I am not a parent and then tell me I am responsible for watching them on her time.)

Edit

For those who say that I shouldn't have married DH if I didn't want to watch his kids, that's not the case. I am happy to watch the kids when DH isn't home on his time, my job is to help pick up his slack. It is not my job to watch the kids on BM's time for nothing. She is getting $240 a WEEK for these kids when DH has them about 1/3 of the time. Now she wants me to have them basically all of their waking ours for 3 weeks for free? I usually babysit during the summer to make extra money, if I watch my step kids during BM's time, I won't be able to do that. It's BM's time and it's her job to provide child care, the fact that dh got married doesn't mean that she has a free built in babysitter.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:43 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:44 PM

i'm so confused

whose kids are they?

you have custody of your step-kids from your ex-dh?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:45 PM
Um....have her pack food for them so you don't have the cost. Problem solved. CS is to equal out the homes finances....she still needs the money to help pay bills I'm sure.

What does your dh say?
Lili-plus-3
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:45 PM

BUMP!

darcibeisheim
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:45 PM

 petiion to have his child support lowered because of the extra parenting time *(when you are babysitting) most states allow for the parent to designate someone else to stand in there place for parenting time/ visitation...

or simply refuse to watch them..or tell her the kids can come over but she will be responible for bringing food and snacks for them

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:46 PM
3 moms liked this

We pay child support also and I also request as much time as we can, we can't get out of cs so we just pay it and move on but time with SD is always priceless to us anyway and I really would just be excited to see her and have her brothers get to spend extra time with her, I also watch her other kid for free all the time. It's in SD's best interest for me to be accommodating I took her on knowing full well that I am an extra parent to her and as such I will love her and treat her as such.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:46 PM

LOL I am such a dunce. I meant DH's ex wife, I guess I typed too fast. They are dh's kids with his ex wife



Quoting Anonymous:

i'm so confused

whose kids are they?

you have custody of your step-kids from your ex-dh?



Constant_Reader
by ~ curly mop on top ~ on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:46 PM
9 moms liked this
Hold your ground girl! That's not right for her to just expect free sitting when dads not home. If she doesn't like it tell her take them to a day care and see how much they charge??
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LyTe684
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:47 PM

Weird....

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:47 PM

They are also now "your" kids, does your dh pay you to watch your own. You are not daycare, they are at their dad's house. Why don't you take her to court to amend the cs if you feel this strongly

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