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I'm a step mother - what I wish I could say to the mom

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 147 Replies
22 moms liked this

Child Support - I don't care that my husband pays child support for his child. That is his responsibility. But do not sign your child up for an activitiy, without first discussing it with my husband and expect him to pay for half  of it. Also expect him to say he has to check with his wife. I am his wife and we are running a household together. This means that we need to see if a new expense will fit into our budget. If it pisses you off that he has to check with me, then I guess you can pay the whole fee on your own.

Visitation - Your child is his child and is always welcome in my home. However, if my husband cannot take your child, please do not expect me to drop what I have going on to babysit. If it's possible, I will do what I can - but when your child spends every Monday with you, I am free to make plans for Monday.

Activities - Yes, your childs soccer game is extremely important. However, my child's surgery is a little more important, considering this is a surgery that will save his life and not just getting a cavity filled. Sometimes my child will take precedent over your child - that's what happens when you get divorced and one or both parents have more children.Sometimes, your child's activities will out weigh my sons. Like if your childs team makes it to the championship - my husband sure will skip my/our child's pre season football game to attend your/his child's championship game.

PTA and other things of the sort - I joined the PTA because I have a child that attends school at this school. You joined for the same reason - sometimes that PTA will recognize my thoughts and opinions and sometimes they will recognize yours. If you don't want to be on the same PTA as I am - take your child to a different school, because I really couldn't care less that you're in the same room as me for a few hours a month.

Field Trips - Yes, my son and your daughter are the same age, same grade, same school. Sometimes their classes do things together, like class room parties, and field trips. I'm an involved mom, so I'm going to volunteer as much as I can - You are also an involved mother, volunteering as much as you can. If your daughter asks me to refill her juice, it's not me taking your place, it's me being a parent volunteer in the room. If my child asks you if he can go to the bathroom, be kind and let the kid go to the bathroom like any other parent volunteer would. Don't take it out on my kid, because the teachers decided to have a joint party/field trip/ movie etc.

I have accepted that my husband has a child from a previous relationship - maybe you should accept that your child's father is married and has a step child and an additional bio-child. I really have nothing against your child, or you and your existence. However, I exist too and sometimes we will be in the same room

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
audreesmama
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this
I wish all sm were like you!
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mandaday
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:48 PM
3 moms liked this
I will never get the bio mom/ step mom battle. My daughter's step momand I get along very well. I know I am lucky. Sometimes we don't see eye to eye, but that's normal. Sorry you have to deal with this situation.
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littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:51 PM

I'm sorry =( I adore my my DS stepmom. I'm going to kill my ex if he runs her off.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:52 PM
3 moms liked this
Why should your child who is the same age as his take precedent over his? Its not his kid having surgery.. unless you were the other woman.. yeah I'd have a problem with you too then
momma2b2008
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:52 PM
Very well put!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this
You both sound like you have problems. If my child's father ever chose to be there for anything that wasn't his bio child instead of his bio child is the only problem I'd have but you don't have to be there for any of my child's games, just him.. And if he can't control his own money without talking to you then you are controlling period.
hp2011
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:57 PM
I don't think either is more important than the other.
How are they the same age? Did he cheat on her with you? Jw
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:57 PM
3 moms liked this


I was not the other woman. If I was, I would understand her disdain. However, in a family, all members are equally important. Sometimes that means that a parents step child takes precedent over a child's bio child. A life saving surgery is more important than a soccer game.

I would skip my own child's soccer game for my SD's surgery, if the roles were reversed.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why should your child who is the same age as his take precedent over his? Its not his kid having surgery.. unless you were the other woman.. yeah I'd have a problem with you too then



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:58 PM

No, I have two children. A child from a previous relationship - 6 weeks younger than my SD. I also have a child with my husband


Quoting hp2011:

I don't think either is more important than the other.
How are they the same age? Did he cheat on her with you? Jw



Mrs.Bryant1201
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:59 PM

Seems legit. :)

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