My Confession: You Are EVIL if You Judge Disabled Children (long)
Anyone who judges a disabled child is Evil. I'm not going to be anonymous and I don't care what you say. Disabled children are God's special messengers. I have an autistic child and one who was tested to see if she has Autism. It was determined last year she doesn't but she does have global developmental delays. My ex-husband is up to 10 children now and out of that 10, 7 have varying degrees of developmental disability, including ASD. I am going to share 4 things. The first is a poem I wrote for my 7 year old when her behavior was at its worst. The second is a poem I wrote from a parents perspective exactly how it feel (to me) to have an autistic child. The third is a song my eldest wrote last year that I helped her record and put into a video for her sister. The fourth is called "Interviews about Autism". It is too much to put into one post so some may appear as the first comment.
you hold out your hand to me
you have that look in your eyes
I wish I could understand you
but it takes so many tries
I know that you're frustrated
you wish that you could say
everything thats bothering you
but you can't find the way
I understand why your angry
I'd be angry too
It must be so hard
with no one to understand you.
I try to remember "simple's best"
when I talk to you
I try to keep my words short
so you don't get confused
I try to show you pictures
in case you can't find the words
no matter how you communicate
You will always be heard
I may not understand you
But you'll always have my hand
to help you and to guide you
through things you don't understand
I wish the world could see you
for who you really are
you're not your diagnosis
you're my little star...
People judge you 'cuz you're special
'cuz you have your little fits
'cuz you don't like certain textures
cuz you can't deal with it
I wonder how it makes them feel
to judge a child so young?
How can they blame your problems on you?
do they think you're like this for fun?
Yes, you hurt yourself cuz it feels good
you scream and have a fit
you bang your head on the wall,
you're just having fun with it...
maybe thats the way they think
but they're just all naive
exiled by the community
they all want you to leave
they've called you names of evil
for being the way you are
they say that you're the devil
those names aren't going far
Baby, you're not evil
you're not doing anything wrong
you adjust to what you can
and we keep going on
What you are is Autistic
you're a special little girl
For God loved you so much
He gave you your own little world
The one you withdraw to
when life's getting to be too much
when you feel you need a time out
when you can't handle a certain touch
And though you're in that world
most the day and night
sometimes I see a flicker
its the real you trying to fight
Trying to come out and SEE me
trying to show you care
but don't worry about that baby
I know the real you is there
God has granted me patience
I asked for it in prayer
I look past the shell of you
I look past your lost stare
One day you will greet me
and say "mom, I've been inside...
I know you never gave up on me,
but that is no surprise...
For God has told me many times
that you would be the one,
who never gave up hope for me
and would fight until the fight was done"
Until that day comes around,
I'll be right with you
one day you'll open your eyes
to a world that is brand new...
I LOVE YOU!!!!
I Hate Autism but I Love You
I love the way you laugh
at jokes no one can hear.
I love the way you giggle
at silly things I wear.
I love when you touch my face
or reach and grab my hand.
I love when you use your words
just to show you can.
I love that you've gained patience
when trying to communicate.
I love that you eat food
that you would have never ate.
I love when you point out things
something you'd never do
I love that you get excited.
I love everything about you.
There's just one thing...
I hate Autism
I hate the way it makes you cry
and I never know what's wrong.
I hate that it makes you violent
or makes you withdrawn for so long
I hate that you're scared of the world
and the fact that you lose your speech
I hate that you lose the skills
that I worked so hard to teach.
I hate when you wake up at night
screaming, in a fit
I hate that I can't console you
that there's nothing I can do about it.
I hate what it's doing to you
I hate that you hurt and I don't know why
I hate not being able to protect you
from the things that make you cry.
So yes, I HATE AUTISM
But I love you
Special to Me: A Song About Autism