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putting my baby up for adoption *update*CONCLUSION

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 393 Replies
5 moms liked this
I have three already and my fourth is due at the end of June. Ive been a SAHM for the last 6 years and I need yo be able to go to work sooner rather than later. We are practically living off public assistance as it is and I just cant seem to see any positivity that would come from me keeping and raising this baby.
dh is fighting me and yjinkd I won't really do it, and I told him he had the power to change my.mind by trying yo get a better job or find us a bigger home but he has done nothing only talked. I'm tired of being a leech on society and making my kids go without. Mg oldest is 5 and a half. She is starting to notice that her friends have things she doesn't and her friends mommy's don't want their kids to be friends with her cause we live in an apt. . .
Please don't be rude if you're going to be negative but I appreciate any advice anyone has to give.
Thanks

Just a few things. . . I'm hoping for an open adoption so that I can still see pics and make sure that the child knows that I did this for the best and so on etc. . . I was hoping that my boyfriends brother and new wife would take the baby for a few years but they're having a baby of their own the following month so I don't think they'd want two newborns or whatever until we were financially stable and able to take it back.
my daughter is going without things like space to play in and room to herself. I mean forget being able to ride her bike or play outside or go to a fun thing I don't even have a closet that I can like clear out for her to play with her squinkies in. She gets up to go to the bathroom and her play is destroyed because her brother or sister comes along and ruins it. I cant guard her stuff because I'm too busy changing diapers or washing dishes or putting stuff away because or apt is so small if its messy you can barely walk through it.
my boyfriend is absolutely no help whatsoever. He does not wash dishes, change diapers, give baths do laundry repair the car or feed the kids or clean them. He does.not write checks to pay bills in order to pay tho gs like rent and utilities I have to chase him around and try to catch him on a good.mood or bribe him somehow to get him to sign the check.
we are now getting evicted from our apartment because we have five people.living in a two bedroom and that violates some code although ive been talking to lawyers and stuff to get us to stay until the end of our lease. . .
I have no friends and no family to help. It is me and the kids against everyone else. I cant see how keeping this child to myself to be homeless and to live in poverty can be preferrable over giving it to a family who wants it and will be able to provide atleast it's basic needs.

AND YES I AM GETTING MY TUBES TIED AFTER THIS CHILD IS BORN

The father is my boyfriend not my "dh"
I should have realized long ago that when he couldn't commit to me, he obviously couldn't commit to caring for a family either
I called an adoption agency, they said that without the father's signature they can not proceed so I guess I'm stuck.
I will be forced to raise it.
I've tried reasoning with my bf but he won't budge. He always gets his way by doing nothing.
I do not plan to prepare for or care for the baby in anyway. If he wants it then he can have it.
Oh and his mother, who has since discovered and keeps sending me flowers and gifts and thanking me for "giving life to her new best friend" she can raise the baby too.
And as far as the comments about my lack of birth control... we did not have sex for over a year. We had only begun screwing each other again and I was to have an IUD put in in a few weeks when this thing was conceived.
In retrospect I wish I had had an abortion.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JessT5280
by MileHigh Mom on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:42 PM
3 moms liked this

No advice for ya, just a good luck - and I think adoption is a wonderful thing. 

Lauriemom
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:43 PM
10 moms liked this

I am sorry you are going thru this. I beg you to carefully consider this before you do it.  This baby will only be a baby for a short time but you may regret the decision for a lifetime. 

Best of luck to you

AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:43 PM
3 moms liked this

Not to be rude or anything, but have you ever thought of getting your tubes tied after this one is born?

lucydiamond
by LD on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:44 PM
5 moms liked this

I hope you find an amazing home to place your baby in!

tinkerspell
by Silver Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:44 PM


Quoting Lauriemom:

I am sorry you are going thru this. I beg you to carefully consider this before you do it.  This baby will only be a baby for a short time but you may regret the decision for a lifetime. 

Best of luck to you



save the date

zeenah
by Zarah on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:45 PM
2 moms liked this
She may want more in the future when they're stable
Quoting AllofFive19:

Not to be rude or anything, but have you ever thought of getting your tubes tied after this one is born?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I was adopted a day before my first birthday and while I love my adopted parents, I always had a void of not knowing where I cane from. For a long time I felt unwanted. Things are a lot better now. I met my birthparents but the not knowing hurt me the most. Good luck with whatever you decide.
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:46 PM

True, but she may want to consider a more permanent form of birth control that can be removed later until she is. It would lessen the chances of this happening again.

Quoting zeenah:

She may want more in the future when they're stable
Quoting AllofFive19:

Not to be rude or anything, but have you ever thought of getting your tubes tied after this one is born?



JNLmomme09
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:47 PM
Good luck
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kansasmom1978
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I hope you find a home for the baby. Please considered getting your tubes tied.

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