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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

PAST ANXIETY MAKING ME CRAZY

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

I recently got divorced from my husband. We had a lot of issues. We never communicated besides harsh joking, i would beg him to go out with me and our two daughters but he would just want to sit at home and play video games, he didn't do anything besides work, and he was secretly addicted to porn, I always knew i just chose to believe that he wouldnt do that not after all the times we talked and he said he was over it. We didn't have internet at our house because it was so far out of town so he would stay at his grandma's in town and jerk off to porn after work (he admitted it to me after i left). He would spend the night for days and the one or two days he was at home with us were spent with us awkwardly sitting around, him playing video games, and him trying to get some before he left for another 5 days. We only lived 30 miles from his work but he would use the excuse he needed to save gas so he would stay at his grandma's house. While he was there he would buy pizza and whatever else...but he didnt have enough money to come home to his wife and two kids. I was a single mom long before i got divorced. Needess to say he made me feel not good enough...

SO i have been with my new boyfriend for 7 months. He is perfect for me. He loves my girls and he puts up with my crazyness. We are best friends. ive known him for 10 years and we have always been really great friends. He has alot of interests that my ex had which i dont really mind.i  I really love him for who he is and would do anything for him that is why I am trying to get over my anxiety issues.

  We got a virus a few weeks ago and porn popped up when i was trying to get the computer. It made all the feelings of hurt come back again. I hate having the internet in our house, i hate all the stuff that pops up on the internet with dirty pictures, it all just makes me think of the past and the lies and how maybe all relationships end up like that. Full of lies and hiding your dark side or something. I feel like I don't live up to photoshoped women online and sometimes to even other women at all. I know I have insecurity issues I just want to know how you guys think i can come to peace with being i guess out of control with what happens in life....if that makes sense. I hate feeling so anxious/worried/insecure/hurt.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:17 AM
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Replies (1-2):
-MidnightKarma-
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Talk to him about it. If the lines of communication are open your more likely to have a successful relationship.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:43 AM

I did after I kind of made up a fight....I just get so anxious and mad I blow up. I told him after it all that my issues are not with him. My problems are because of the decisions I made in the past to trust people that could not be trusted.

He knows about my past and knows how hurt I had been. He said he would never do anything to hurt me. He said there is no one sexier than me. He is sweet and I know i can talk to him. I just dont want him to have to go through me being so anxious all the time. He deserves better than that. Its just a recent thing. When we first started seeing each other, it was perfect and now all of this comes to the surface.

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