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No anon for this. I need support. Cheating husband.*4/03 UPDATE*

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4/3/2013 9:15pm - STBX & I just talked. He came home at noon-ish from his hotel. He went to lunch with the neighbor, took our son to the movies while I went to church, then we talked. He told me the truth. The hotel was for the Ohio woman. He claims he got it for her and her friend who were coming into town. He claims she never actually slept there but he did spend the days with her. He claims she stayed at her friends home who lived locally. He claims nothing physical went on. He also made it very clear that he was in fact no longer in love with me. So, I guess I know the truth & where we stand.


4/2.2013 - not too much to update. i had my STD tests and saw a therapist yesterday. my husband is all over the place with his words. one text is asking if i am hell bent on divorce and the next is asking me to send him the custody papers. as of last night my STBX went to his hotel room. I honestly thought it would be the neighbor he was meeting there but her car was in the driveway. I went down there & confronted both her & her husband. They both claim that there is nothing going on - that they are all just friends. So I am super confused about that situation but somewhat believe them. The real issue is that they know he was meeting somebody from out of town at the hotel this week but they don't know who. and, no, i don't want to drive to the hotel - I don't know exactly why but I just don't. so pretty much last night i just spoke with the neighbors about what is happening to my marriage and why I assumed something weird was going on with them. i don't know if i'm still being a fool by believing them or what but i do know that they also said they noticed something is not right about my husband lately & gave him a referral to a psychiatrist who he is seeing Wednesday. What a weird painful mess.

3/31.2013 - so i guess i've been keeping a lot of what is happening up to date within replies but I guess i'll add what i woke up to this morning.

1. $8 left in our joint account

2. He removed me from our cell account as an authorized user

3. 3 texts from him after I went to bed saying we are better than this, why are we acting this way.  anyway, the 3rd text said "I am seeing a therapist Monday. I think there is something wrong with me". SMARTEST THING THIS ASSHOLE HAS SAID YET!

4. at 11:15pm after I was fast asleep he left a voicemail simply saying "I'm sorry". He sounded bad, like he'd exhausted himself crying. but that was all he said then he hung up.

I do not plan to talk to him in any way today. I have to return to the house tonight and am thrilled to see my son but not so thrilled to have to see him.

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3/30.2013 - he's not sorry. he's not planning to change. he won;t admit anything. i found out he lied about having a conference next week - about a month ago he was excited to tell me that he was selected to go to a work conference. it was all a lie. he's been planning the week away for a month. I left last night. i let him keep our 8 yr old because he said he wanted to spend time with him. what a fucking mistake that was.

Today my neighbor said she saw him get out of the slut's minivan at 10am today. where the hell was my son? i called his cell phone and he wouldn't answer. i texted that i wanted to talk to my son. he said that he was in the water & would call me later. that was hours ago & I haven't heard from him.

biggest thing. the slut "accidentally" texted me a photo of her with my husband snuggled up at Six Flags. The caption said "hey girl. went to 6 flags last week and had a blast. can't wait to see you next week when  you get into town". So, the dumb bitch is simply evil and so is my husband. i know my husband is with her right now and when they sent me the text because my neighbor can see his car parked down there.

he is not only cheating on me but he is bringing our son into it and trying to hurt me as much as possible.

I have already done a change of address and I pray he is gone all week at his hotel reservations so I can use the week to pack. 10 years wasted with this sack of garbage.


3/29.2013 - last night he came home but I was at a friends when he got here. by the time i got home he was already in bed. I sent our son in to sleep with him & I slept in our son's room (which I chose to do anyways when this nightmare started). This morning my son said that he & daddy both cried a lot and talked a bit.

This morning he was gone before i woke up. he sent me a text saying that he wanted me to leave this weekend so he could spend it with our son alone. i said fine (i agreed so easily because in our divorce papers I am offereing him odd years holidays anyways). an hour and 1/2 later i get the following text His words will be green. Mine will be purple

"Ok, I think we need some time apart at very least Michelle. B(our son) and I cried for a long time last night together. I want to know why you decided to go to a divorce lawyer like that. I am very hurt over this too, don't think I'm not, I am an emotional wreck, I am very depressed and having thoughts I never thought I would have..." " And I haven't spoken with a lawyer yet. I plan to be civil if it goes there"

"All I ask is that you make sure the Easter bunny comes" (since he's keeping him on Easter)

"Of course, and why don't you answer me"

"What was the question?"

"Oh, why did I go to a lawyer. Why don't you take a few wild guesses"

"Tell me"

" I know everything. I just hope it was all worth breaking up our family over"

"What do you think you know Michelle? Cause I guarantee you know nothing"

"I thought you wanted to be civil. Condoms & your wedding ring. Hotel res for north hollywood. Valentines flowers to Joanne."

"you have my jacket and wedding ring? Condoms? Joanne is in Ohio I haven't seen her in 20 years Michelle we just talk a lot, I sent flowers cause she was feeling suicidal, they weren't for valentines day"

" I took it off when u said u were at a divorce lawyer"

"The flower company read me the card "happy valentines day" You left the jacket with condoms in the pocket on our bed. You spent $300 to rent a hotel, Best Western through Orbitz, for next week."

(then I sent him a photo of the condoms & ring I had I taken)

"I bought those after the divorce thing, I thought about going to hook up with anyone, just to do it, but can't bring myself to do it. I am truly sorry, I messed up big time... The hotel reservations were for me to get away for a little while I am very stressed out and contemplating doing something. I need to really think about my life and what I am doing. i do love you Michelle. I am very heartbroken over all this, not just about (our son)."

"nothing matters anymore, I am giving up"

"let's talk when I come home tonight, ok?"

"I'll listen to the truth. Anything less and I'm walking away."

"ok"

So, that was the convo today. We had while I was in the welfare office and filing for emergency FS & medical since I cannot trust him not to waste our joint account. He has no idea I filed for that nor does it seem that he knows I filed for divorce.

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It started Sunday night when he refused to show me a text he received. He ran out of the house, jumped in the car, and deleted everything.

Next day I discover about a zillion texts between him & our sexy neighbor. They claim they were just friends. But the texts were all day everyday and he was hiding the "friendship" from me.

I never snoop but I should have long ago. I looked at the phone records and there is a bajillion calls to an OH number but we live in CA. I am talking texts all day everyday & calls starting at 5am when he leaves the house.I always aksed why the hell he left so early - that's why.

Then I look at our bank statements (which I never did before) and see tons of cash always withdrawn. Then I see a $53 charge on 2/08/2013 for a flower service. I called the 800 number & gave my husband's info. It went to a woman in yup, OHIO just like all the calls. The note on the card said "Happy Valentines Day". The bastard didn't do shit for me on vday. So I google the woman's name that the flower shop gave me and find out she used to live in Ellicot City MD just like my husband! Can you say 'old flame' maybe???

It gets worse. I see a 1-888 number called twice today. I called it. It was Orbitz. I called Orbitz and disocvered that he spent a few hundred bucks of our joint acct on a HOTEL for April 1st - 4th in North Hollywood for him and a "guest". The asshole had told me 2 weeks ago that he'd be gone all next week for a work conference in San Diego. So he has been planning to get away for awhile now with God knows who.

You may say "but how can he go away with a woman in Ohio". Well, obviously he's either screwing the neighbor from the text messages OR he has other women he's screwing because.... HE LEFT HIS WEDDING RING & CONDOMS in his jacket pocket this morning for me to find.

I am also friends with the wife of one of his co-workers & she told me that his work attendance has started to get bad. So the bastard has been skipping work t screw around too.

I have been begging & trying to get this man to make time for me, to love me, and this is why he hasn't. He is screwing around and now rubbing it in my face.

After the initial texting the neighbor situation I saw a lawyer (and his flat-out refusal to stop). This morning I went to the court house and filed. I am absolutely sick & devastated. All I have been is a loving faithful wife. What's worse is our 8 yr old is crying uncontrollably and said he knew mommy & daddy fight but he never thought we'd actually split up. I didn't go anon because I need all the support I can get right now.

I just want to thank you all for the support. I'm trying to reply to everyone but the tears rolling down my face are getting in the way...


by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 8:33 PM
Replies (1041-1050):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 13, 2013 at 7:44 PM
I would like an update from Tesserae.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 13, 2013 at 7:49 PM
Holiday 100 is giving you very sound advice.
Bonnie1937
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 7:52 PM
Hang in there! You are twice the woman you think you are.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted plz
lovinmommy10
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 8:04 PM
I am so sorry this is all happening, i hope things get better soon.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Tesserae
by Mrs.Mellark on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:20 PM

my stbx is being a complete and total asshole. he opened a new bank acct under just his name and has his paychecks deposited to it. he has left $13 in the joint acct. That is now all I have. he is trying to bully me into leaving the marital home now even before my teen has finished his semester of 10th grade. we have mediation april 30th.


Quoting Anonymous:

I would like an update from Tesserae.



kaseylynn1973
by Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 1:31 AM
He wants to hurt you no matter who he has to hurt in the process, and that includes his own children. My father pulled the same kind of crap. What an ass.
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Tesserae
by Mrs.Mellark on Apr. 15, 2013 at 10:35 AM

i just returned home last night. he had moved all his expensive property out of the home (to the neighbors I later discovered) and put a freaking lock on the master bedroom door so I cannot get in. he was also pissed that I brought our son home at 7:30pm (on MY weekend with him!) so at 8pm he takes off with our 8 yr old to see a movie. Plus he was yelling at me in front of our son last night. He is doing an amazing job at making it hard for me to stay until the end of the school semester. oh, and the house stank of alcohol and there were beer and smirnoff ice raspberry bottles all over the kitchen and empty cases of Bud & Newcastle in the trash cans. He sure is living it up without me around.


Quoting kaseylynn1973:

He wants to hurt you no matter who he has to hurt in the process, and that includes his own children. My father pulled the same kind of crap. What an ass.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 15, 2013 at 12:54 PM

Make sure you take notes on all of this to tell the courts. Also, I doubt he can legally lock you out of the bedroom. Call your lawyer or the police station and ask. Maybe the police can even get in the room for you. I am sorry that you are going through this and he is such an ass. Hang in there though and don't let him bully you or get the better of you.


Quoting Tesserae:

i just returned home last night. he had moved all his expensive property out of the home (to the neighbors I later discovered) and put a freaking lock on the master bedroom door so I cannot get in. he was also pissed that I brought our son home at 7:30pm (on MY weekend with him!) so at 8pm he takes off with our 8 yr old to see a movie. Plus he was yelling at me in front of our son last night. He is doing an amazing job at making it hard for me to stay until the end of the school semester. oh, and the house stank of alcohol and there were beer and smirnoff ice raspberry bottles all over the kitchen and empty cases of Bud & Newcastle in the trash cans. He sure is living it up without me around.


Quoting kaseylynn1973:

He wants to hurt you no matter who he has to hurt in the process, and that includes his own children. My father pulled the same kind of crap. What an ass.





kaseylynn1973
by Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 2:48 PM
Yes, document everything, take pictures with time/date stamp. Unfortunately the prick will probably tell the kids it's your fault he's had to take such actions. His behavior will all be blamed on you. Don't be surprised if he's already trying to get them on his side. Again, my dad did this too.
Don't react to the yelling or any of his crap, don't give in to what he wants. He wants to fight, to see you fail without him. He wants to see you melt down. But I'm sure you know this already.
Meditation can't come soon enough!
Get this thing started so the quicker it can end!
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Linus77
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 4:06 PM

I would take the hinges off the door, or unscrew the doorknob.  Stop leaving the house!  That's YOUR home!  He was the one cheating.  Lock him out of the house!  Get a restraining order against him because he's been drinking and THEN took your son out...he's a danger and bad influence.

Pack ALL his stuff and put them in garbage bags and place them out the door.  He can get his stuff and leave.  He already took most of his stuff out anyway, so you can prove that he has intent to move out, and he needs to leave for your son's sake who is suffering greatly to see his father abusing his mother, choosing another woman and spending money on her instead of on the family.  This is bringing confusion and pain into your son's life.  So request the courts to order the idiot out of the house.  He's already been spending money on hotel rooms and found a couple of places to stay.  He can't have those AND the house.  He can afford it, and you can't.  You are STILL LEGALLY his wife, and therefore you are entitled to your share of his money.

STOP leaving the home!!

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