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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is he being irresponsible or is it just me?


I posted this in 20 something moms as well. I'm posting here too so I can get as many opinions as possible.

My SO and I have our first on the way. She is due in May. I've been worried about him being able to handle everything involved with caring for a baby. I work at a daycare and take care of 4 infants at one time, so I know all the ins and outs. He has never been around babies and I know there is going to be a learning curve for him obviously. But I just feel like he isn't responsible enough for me to even trust her alone with the baby. Growing up, his mom babied him. She did pretty much everything for him. Well I've noticed just how much he doesn't do when we moved in together. He NEVER locks the door to the house. We even had people breaking in to near-by houses and still, he continued to forget to lock the door. He also won't lock the car doors either. I can literally say RIGHT before we get out "Lock the door", and he doesn't!! Also, sometimes when he is done cooking, he leaves the stove on!!!!! One night, he left the stove on ALL night because I didn't know I had to check it. Then, he is obsessed with this online PC game called Guild Wars. He will stay up until 5 or 6am playing this goddamn game even on nights when he has work or school the follow day. So he goes off of like 4-5 hours of sleep. And he puts his game before his studies as well. He just bombed a Math exam for college because he didn't study the night before. He gamed -.- Lastly, I have to do little things for him like remember to get his wallet and cell phone before he leaves, set the alarm clock or he won't, REMIND him he hasn't showered in two days. Ugh..I just feel like I have a child already. How am I suppose to trust him if I need to go some where? I feel like he won't remember to feed her or change her diaper or burp her. Do I have legitamite reason to be worried or do you think I'm being a bitch and over-reacting??

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:55 AM
Replies (31-40):
othermom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:21 PM

 

My husband was really bad about playing WoW after our second child was born, it was horrible. He stilll plays it now after quiting for a few years, but h is so much better now.

Quoting coffeemom37043:

 

Oh God...WoW was his last game obsession... -.- I hope so too though...it gives me hope that he manned up when your baby came though. Maybe mine will do the same.

Quoting Anonymous:

You sound like you just described my husband to a T. Only difference is his game of choice is WoW instead of Guild Wars. I work full time and he's a full time student, so he was going to have to do alot of the daytime care for her. After our daughter arrived, he manned up, matured, and does well with her. He may still need to be reminded about his wallet and stuff, but not about anything to do with her. Hopefully your man will do the same!

 

 


 

Nicole1357
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:22 PM

Not sure! GL!

tifbrown
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:23 PM

Take it one step and one day at a time. Having a baby might wake him up to his responsibilities, especially with a baby girl. Neither my hubby or I had ever been around tiny babies when we had our first. It was a big learning curve, but we both got it. My hubby is super protective of our little girls and goes above and beyond to ensure their safety. You won't really know how it's going to go until baby is here. Either he will man up and grow up or he will bitch out. Only time will tell. 

fullxbusymom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:24 PM

 We never lock our house or cars so I don't find that to be a big deal. Also if he doesn't want to shower for a couple of days and doesn't smell no biggie either.  The only thing that you have mentioned that is realatively a big deal is turning the stove off and if it was only a one time thing than it was an accident.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:25 PM

Absolutely this!  It only gets harder after having kids.  Your patience with his foolishness will hit a new low.  You simply will not have time for that shit.


Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Wow, you picked a winner to breed with. I would have cut my losses BEFORE I got pregnant.  Good luck hon, cause you're going to need it.  I hope your man-child eventually grows up.



coffeemom37043
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:28 PM


The doors thing wouldn't normally be a big deal but like I said, people were breaking into houses nearby. And no, the stove is not a one time thing. He does it a lot.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

 We never lock our house or cars so I don't find that to be a big deal. Also if he doesn't want to shower for a couple of days and doesn't smell no biggie either.  The only thing that you have mentioned that is realatively a big deal is turning the stove off and if it was only a one time thing than it was an accident.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 29, 2013 at 7:11 PM

I sorry. but maybe he is just irresponsible because he can be. a lot of guys are extremely immature and irresponsible until they become fathers. something about holding that baby and having to take care of them, makes them wake up and grow up overnight. it might take him a few months. but I think he def could come around once the baby does. start out by having him watch the baby while you are taking a shower or napping and then slowly move up to going to the bank or the grocery store and just taking a walk around the block. I really think it time once the baby is there, he will realize he has to grow up and mature. good luck.

mrssummerlin
by Platinum Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 7:14 PM
Why breed with someone you can't trust?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 29, 2013 at 7:25 PM

Seems like you probably should have dealt with this BEFORE getting pregnant.
I agree with you...he sounds very immature and irresponsible and no I wouldn't be comfortable leaving him with the child either...BUT he's the baby's father and you're just going to have to put up with it.
Unfortunately that will mean most of the work will fall on your shoulders

You could sign up for a parenting class to give him some idea of what is to come...but the other stuff....the day to day common sense stuff....I have no idea how to help you with that sorry

MamaK1985
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 7:45 PM

My dh is a gamer he plays world of warcraft. About 5-6 years ago when we only had one child he would play until 3 am and then sleep the day away. He wouldn't do anything with our son. I finally told him at that time that if things didn't change before he deployed I would walk out that door and never come back he changed his tune. He still does play WoW but he has learned to put his family first he has learned how to balance everything.  We now have 3 children.

Thats my experince with a gaming DH.

P.s I play WoW with him I got into when I was expecting DS1 and had moved to FL and didn't have any friends or family and no job.

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