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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why all the advice on how to not hear your baby cry?

I have seen several 'sleep training' posts on facebook from mothers who are struggling.....and people reply "hang in there" --- "ear plugs" --- "ipod headphones" --- "you will all appreciate it in a few days!"

Do people NOT know that babies cry for a reason?!?  (reasons aren't always about being hungry, soiled, or hot/cold --- babies actually have emotional and psychological needs, too!)

People tell you it's 'for the baby's own good"  --- b/c, you know, a 6 month old needs to learn to be 'independent' and to 'self-soothe' or he/she will never, ever, sleep on his/her own!!!  *eye roll*  (and, HOW do you define 'self-soothe'?  A baby finally stopping crying doesn't mean he/she has learned to 'self-soothe'......didn't you know crying is EXHAUSTING?!?)

Learned helplessness is not self-soothing.  Sleep training is learned helplessness.  Sugar coat it however you want to make yourself feel better.  Tell yourself how happy you were you did it.....but, your baby just learned that mom won't come anymore when I need her --- that is NOT 'self-soothing'.    

Babies who never 'sleep trained', or went through 'cry it out', are actually capable of being independent and to go to sleep on their own when they are ready.

Vent over.


by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:10 AM
Replies (11-20):
balagan_imma
by Gold Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:17 AM

I learned to listen to my baby's cry. If it sounded urgent I went. If it was just whiney I let it go a little bit. I never did the actual CIO thing because I could tell when they needed me or could go a few seconds.

one_on_the_way
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:18 AM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Sassy762:


Quoting one_on_the_way:

I have seen several 'sleep training' posts on facebook from mothers who are struggling.....and people reply "hang in there" --- "ear plugs" --- "ipod headphones" --- "you will all appreciate it in a few days!"

Do people NOT know that babies cry for a reason?!?  (reasons aren't always about being hungry, soiled, or hot/cold --- babies actually have emotional and psychological needs, too!)

People tell you it's 'for the baby's own good"  --- b/c, you know, a 6 month old needs to learn to be 'independent' and to 'self-soothe' or he/she will never, ever, sleep on his/her own!!!  *eye roll*  (and, HOW do you define 'self-soothe'?  A baby finally stopping crying doesn't mean he/she has learned to 'self-soothe'......didn't you know crying is EXHAUSTING?!?)

Learned helplessness is not self-soothing.  Sleep training is learned helplessness.  Sugar coat it however you want to make yourself feel better.  Tell yourself how happy you were you did it.....but, your baby just learned that mom won't come anymore when I need her --- that is NOT 'self-soothing'.    

Babies who never 'sleep trained', or went through 'cry it out', are actually capable of being independent and to go to sleep on their own when they are ready.

Vent over.


That just made me literally laugh out loud!  :o)


kmorales7690
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Honestly my baby sometimes cries because she is fighting sleep or just want me to hold her. Then she won't sleep in her bed, sea almost nine moths letting her cry now and then isn't goig to kill her or hurt her.
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kmorales7690
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:20 AM
3 moms liked this
That's how I am too, there is a huge difference between I'm hungry, I'm hurting , and I just dot want to go to sleep but I'm so tired I'm about to pass out.

Quoting balagan_imma:

I learned to listen to my baby's cry. If it sounded urgent I went. If it was just whiney I let it go a little bit. I never did the actual CIO thing because I could tell when they needed me or could go a few seconds.

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ghostcat90
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:20 AM

I haven't read into or bought into any of that stuff.  My girl (6 months old) has already ditched her paci, when I give her her last bottle, she goes to sleep usually before she finishes it, I put her to bed, and she's down for half the night.  I change her, give her another bottle (she has tummy issues, so I can't give her a lot at once, so I can't eliminate the night feedings and make sure she's getting enough through the day), and again, she goes right back to sleep.  If she doesn't, we turn on some music or Howl's Moving Castle and I put her in her swing, I curl up on the couch beside her, and she eventually goes to sleep.  I KNOW sleeping in the swing is bad, but I did read that babies who have active mommies tend to need that motion to sleep...I worked 2 jobs on my feet from 8 am  - 11 pm when I was pregnant.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:20 AM

I agree with you. I don't let my son cio but sometimes during the day he will get himself so worked up because he is overtired and after trying everything including cuddling him til he fall asleep. sometime he won't have it and the only thing to do is put him down. he will fuss for a few minutes then fall asleep. also i'm not talking about like the bloodly murder cry or the one with tears. usually he will scream once then like realize he is in his crib and be out. then i peek to make sure he is okay. 

Char-Bear
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:22 AM
Never done CIO, never will.
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LiDoMama
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:22 AM
Say what???! That's what rocking chairs/gliders are for- rock that baby to sleep! I do work on establishing good sleep habits/self soothing with my kids, but not until 2.
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celestegood
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:25 AM

 Totally agree.  The only time I ever needed ear plugs with my kids was with my youngest, and he had horrible colic for months.  I would put them in and hold him, bathe him, bounce him, cuddle him and try to console him in any way I could think.  Nothing worked, breastfeeding him, NOTHING!!!!!!!!

He would just cry for hours.  I needed those ear plugs, tyvm.  I was doing all I could to help him.

LKrasnor
by Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:25 AM
This!!! I tried wearing headphones with music blasting while carrying dd in the Bjorn. It just sounded like a crazy blend of screaming and music. Not a great combo. I will try noise canceling headphones if we're in the same boat again.


Quoting banana-bear:

Clearly you have never had a baby with GERD. There was no amount of love, attention, diaper changes, feedings, etc that I could have done. She just cried for hours on end. I tended to her excessively and I wish I would have thought to wear headphones with music back then. I was going insane.

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