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what would you say to your friend about this?

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:59 AM
  • 31 Replies

My friend has a husband that is a little weired. I never say anything to her because, she loves him. She is starting to open up a little. This is what she told me today!! My friend and her husband both work, they have a joined bank account. HE GIVES HER an allowance of $75.00 a month for what she wants to do! Now, they have $500.00 left over from their income tax. All their bills are paid plus, they are ahead! So she wants to buy a coach purse that she found for $100.00. She asked her husband if she can buy it, he said no! WTF!!! Why would you say no, why does she have to ask. Also she gets paid next week so, she said that she would replace the money then! Okay, so why can't she get it? She said that, she has to ask him money for everything! I don't get it!! She feels like he is more her father then her husband. So, what woul you say to your friend about this? Oh, and they don't have any children! So why can't she spoil herself every now and then.

by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
partingwhisper
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:01 AM

i have this kind of financial arrangement with my husband because i tend to overspend. 

NBean311
by Chivette on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:03 AM
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If he uses it as a means of control, it is a recognized form of abuse. 

If they are in agreement about that type of relationship, then it isn't your place to say anything. 

You have to discern whether or not she needs help. 

robeandslippers
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:06 AM



Quoting NBean311:

If he uses it as a means of control, it is a recognized form of abuse. 

If they are in agreement about that type of relationship, then it isn't your place to say anything. 

You have to discern whether or not she needs help. 


If she is sharing this with me and wants to know my thoughts. It is my place to say something to her!

areles
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:08 AM
1 mom liked this
blowing $100 on a purse is stupid if your finances are such that 'being ahead' is a rare enough occurrence that it's remarked upon.

i don't see the problem here, really.
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NBean311
by Chivette on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:08 AM

Obviously if she is asking your opinion, you are well within your right. You didn't mention in your OP that she asked, which is why I worded it that way. 

Quoting robeandslippers:



Quoting NBean311:

If he uses it as a means of control, it is a recognized form of abuse. 

If they are in agreement about that type of relationship, then it isn't your place to say anything. 

You have to discern whether or not she needs help. 


If she is sharing this with me and wants to know my thoughts. It is my place to say something to her!


jen_keiko
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:09 AM

My grandmother always told us that you should always have your own bank account, even if you have a joint one. She needs to work this out with her husband if she does not like the way he is handling the finances.

robeandslippers
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:10 AM



Quoting NBean311:

Obviously if she is asking your opinion, you are well within your right. You didn't mention in your OP that she asked, which is why I worded it that way. 

Quoting robeandslippers:



Quoting NBean311:

If he uses it as a means of control, it is a recognized form of abuse. 

If they are in agreement about that type of relationship, then it isn't your place to say anything. 

You have to discern whether or not she needs help. 


If she is sharing this with me and wants to know my thoughts. It is my place to say something to her!


understood. :)


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:12 AM

My husband is in complete control of our financials because I suck with money and I know it's better for us and the family that way.

KristenFowles
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't say anything to her.

She allows him to control the money this way. She's asking, he's saying no, and she "obeys" ... She's an adult, with her own money... As an adult, obeying typically means you're okay with the arrangement/situation/etc.
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3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:17 AM


Quoting KristenFowles:

I wouldn't say anything to her.



She allows him to control the money this way. She's asking, he's saying no, and she "obeys" ... She's an adult, with her own money... As an adult, obeying typically means you're okay with the arrangement/situation/etc.
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