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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

3 year old using the word Ni&&a

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

My 3 year old has apparently picked up on some slang

I am not sure what to think of it

Growing up I was raised mainly by my mom who was white, so the word just was never used.  When I went to my dads house, yes, used in normal conversation all of the time.

Now I am an adult and for many years, all of high school and part of college I never used the word, but then I ended up getting a few roommates and as they used it, I slowly began slipping it, until suddenly it just became normal for me to use with certain people.  

My sister has always used the word in conversation, again pending who was part of that conversation

My sons dad was raised in Oakland, California.  I don't know many people, even non-black, who don't say it from time to time coonversationally.

So now my kid has said it.  He won't say it in front of me, but when with his dad he thinks its funny because he knows he will get in trouble, so he tests his boundaries.

But Idk

I am thinking of it as any cuss word

I allow my son to say hella because hella is like a normal word here

But to let him sit there and say Ni&&a, idk  I don't think he should use it until he has full knowledge of the word and whatr it means, and why we don't say it to other people, and when it is offensive and when it is not. Like I didn't use it til about 20 years old so it's a hard call.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:27 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I find the word offensive and disrespectful. i ctually cringe when i her it. i do not find it "cute" or anything when i hear a child say it. it doesnt matter where you live or where you grew up. I would stop it now. The kid is saying it though because you are using it in everyday conversation. 

nelliesmommy
by prettyandpierced on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:32 PM

I'm black and I don't use that word and I don't think it's ok for a kid to use it either.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:38 PM

I do not think its cute either but I am wondering of how I am to approach this.  Honestly, I always treated it like a cuss word before.  I do say it, for instance, watching a funny comedy '"That ni&&a is hilarious" or when a friend does something so stereotypical, "You are such a Ni&&a"  

but its a rare word in my home, I mean I dont always have a bunch of guys here saying it soI am wondering if this is a talk to even have with his dad?   idk

Its not a word I will ever ban from him saying, I don't think it needs to be, I just prefer he be educated before he uses it. 


Quoting Anonymous:

I find the word offensive and disrespectful. i ctually cringe when i her it. i do not find it "cute" or anything when i hear a child say it. it doesnt matter where you live or where you grew up. I would stop it now. The kid is saying it though because you are using it in everyday conversation. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this
It is a derogatory word, it is offensive and never okay to use it, no matter the person's age or race. It was intended to be offensive and I can't even imagine using that word for any other reason. I grew up around it and thought it was ok at the time. As an adult, I am very aware that it is not okay and my children have never used that word. It's an ignorant way to speak and unwelcome in our home. Same goes for any other racial slur. We have to teach our children that its never okay to use that kind of language. Otherwise, the ignorance just keeps spreading.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:51 PM

I have had to talk to my son about not using the word. The problem is when we walk out our front door, we have several teens calling each other that. 

Of course he asks why they can use it and he can't. Since whatever I tell him, he might say to the teens. And I don't want him to be picked on or bullied when he tells them that they are saying something wrong. He doesn't quite understand the concept of gray areas. Everything is either right or wrong. I told him it was a bad word used to put down people with darker skin. At some point they started calling each other that word with a different inflection as a source of pride. Since he does not have the same skin tone, it would come off as an insult rather than being a good thing. 

I figure this would keep him from calling the kids the same name they call each other. And give him a bit of history. I absolutely hate when they call each other than. But I won't say anything because I don't want to be harassed. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

I have no clue why anybody uses that word. Its a hurtful word used by ignorant people, i don't care your race, that word come out of your mouth its instant dislike.

LyTe684
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:00 PM
I wouldn't allow it. Good luck.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:05 PM

I use it because it's a word of many meanings. When Im with my friends, one word is easier than a whole sentence.

No ignorance, it took me 20 years of my life to decide to use it, to be able to differentiate it from slavery and to learn who uses the word and who doesn't, even amongst other black people, still have to be careful. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I have no clue why anybody uses that word. Its a hurtful word used by ignorant people, i don't care your race, that word come out of your mouth its instant dislike.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:11 PM

I can tell you that you are wrong about a couple things

It may be used in a derragatory way, but amongst us it is not 

And it is not ignorance, I have very well educated people of all ages in my family and friends, even people who have gone to all black schools, majored in African American History, and let me say, they use the word Ni&&a with more meaning than anyone else. 

But thats why I am saying, I'd prefer for my son to at least be old enough to be educated on the topic before it is okay.  Its just one of those things I do not have complete control over because let me tell you, at his dads house, "They are a bunch of high class ni&&as" Think they can talk how ever they want, whenever they want, just because they have mone,y so there's no filter. 


Quoting Anonymous:

It is a derogatory word, it is offensive and never okay to use it, no matter the person's age or race. It was intended to be offensive and I can't even imagine using that word for any other reason. I grew up around it and thought it was ok at the time. As an adult, I am very aware that it is not okay and my children have never used that word. It's an ignorant way to speak and unwelcome in our home. Same goes for any other racial slur. We have to teach our children that its never okay to use that kind of language. Otherwise, the ignorance just keeps spreading.


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