Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I just told my son ETU

Posted by Anonymous
  • 64 Replies

"You are stupid just like your father.You KNOW what you are doing is just making things worse and yet you just continue.  I am so sick of this.  You are so stupid.  You just sit there and shit your pants and moan and carry on for 3 FUCKING HOURS.  I can't take this shit anymore! Do you want to be stupid like your father? You disgust me!"

He is 7 and just stood there crying while I said it.

I stopped and watching him cry just standing there for about 30 seconds, overcome with horror.

I told him "honey take a shower.  What I just did....  Mommy has no excuse.  It was wrong.  Take a shower.  I love you."

I should just kill myself right now.  I have no fucking clue what came over me.  I lost control.  How could I say such horrible things to my own child? 

I have turned into my father.

My son is having a shower right now.  I'm listening to music calming myself down.  He's out of the shower now, I don't know what to say to him.

I know I will be bashed.  I DESERVE it.  What I did was unforgivable.  I'm not a troll... I don't know why I even made this post.  I'm just so lost.


My son and I spoke, we are usually pretty open about things.  He told me he was very angry and hurt about what I said, I let him know it was right he should feel that way because what I said was very wrong.  I was angry, but I should not have acted that way at all.

I asked him if he believed what I said, he said no, it's not true, I am very smart and I know I am.  And I told him that's right you are and never believe any different.  You are a wonderful kid who was behaving badly, we both behaved badly.

Then we talked a bit about what we should do when we are very upset, better ways to deal with that. 

Then we went to the park.  I know I took that away, but given the circumstances I decided it was more important we get out of the house and release some steam. 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:18 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Poor kid, dude.

You should consider some patenting classes. Your kid doesn't deserve that.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:20 PM
Patenting classes, anger management classes

Poor kid
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:21 PM
1 mom liked this

So what's going on that triggered all of this to happen?

by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:23 PM
Apologize again. You lost your temper, you cant change that, but you CAN let him know you did not mean it. Make sure you explain that you did not mean it, that you were just overwhelmed. Spend today making sure you praise him, do things with him, and dont lose it again. Kids are very forgiving. Also think about parenting classes. They can teach you how to handle stress and frustrating situations
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:24 PM

I think therapy for you and your son is a good idea. Get some help! 

by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:25 PM
3 moms liked this
Nothing makes me more angry than a mother taking out their hate for their kids father on the kids. smh.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this

just hug him and apologize and tell him you were wrong and that sometimes people screw up, and that's all it was. he's brilliant, wonderful, the light of your life, and you will never hurt him with cruel, untrue words again. and then follow through. it will be ok. he will forgive you and you can do better.

by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:27 PM

Poor kid.

Sounds to me like you hit a breaking point. I'm not sure all what lead up to this, but just apologize again. Explain that you lost your temper and you didn't mean what you said. Parenting and anger management classes may be in order if you think something like this could happen again.

AV made by NiamhWitch

by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:28 PM

In my house we do not swear and we do not say stupid. My kids know this. I cannot imagine ever calling a child stupid. 

I would really evaluate your lifestyle. Think about getting some help. I know what it is like to lose slight control, but never anything like that. 

You should go and hug your child and appoligize and let him know that you were wrong. you are very sorry and you had no right to talk to him like that. Let him know how sorry you are and how much you love him and that you will change.

your poor son : (  It just makes my heart ache for how he must have felt. Standing there. Looking at his mom, the one person in the world that is suppose to love him unconditionally and that he loves more than anything else, yelling horrible horrible things at him...

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:28 PM

All week he has been asking questions, then arguing me on the answer, cutting me off and yelling at me when I ask him to do something, talking to me in a very nasty tone of voice like I am stupid.

Today, he asked if there would be zuzu's at the hockey game next week.  I was in the middle of answering him, I was trying to say "Idk if there will be." He cut me off at idk and roared at me in a snide voice "you knooow, those things you talk into? ugh."

I sent him to his room and gave him lines to write.  

Then he just started freaking out.  Screaming, and moaning and crying very loud and dramatic, tearing his room apart.

I kept going in, telling him he needs to stop.  He needs to just write the lines or we will not go to the park.

He got worse and worse and worse.  Saying he was freaking out because he wanted to go to the park.

I kept telling him YOU are the reason we aren't going! You're spazzing out.  Spazzing out more won't make it better!! 

It just got worse and worse and worse and then he shit his pants and sat in it.

I went in and was hit by the stench.  He was just going to sit in it, which wouldn't be the first time.

I sent him to the bathroom to clean up and he kept moaning and carrying on even WORSE.  

And that's when I snapped.

Quoting ChocolateJunky:

So what's going on that triggered all of this to happen?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)