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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

A punch in the face. Why is this any different?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
There was a post the other day where a raging debate took place as to whether its ok for a parent to bite a child back for biting to show them it's painful. The OP asked multiple times if that same child were to punch someone in the face would it be ok for a parent to punch that child in the face in order to prove the same point? Surprisingly nobody answered so I ask that same question.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 9:14 PM
Replies (21-30):
soulofsunmama
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 6:58 AM
Sick that anyone could justify "teaching" or
"showing"a child what *THEY* are doing wrong by DOING IT THEMSELVES.
Twisted.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 31, 2013 at 6:59 AM
Agreed, but others have made the same point. I am totally with you. It's repeating the same behavior you don't want repeated.


Quoting Anonymous:

You are a raging idiot, it has nothing to do with one hurting more then the other, and has EVERYTHING to do with leading by example.

Good grief, unbelievable that you could possibly break it down with justification, whether you do it or not.

Disgusting.



Quoting Anonymous:

I am sorry, but your question is ludicrous. I would not do either, but there is a huge difference between a parent biting a child with a little bit of force in order to show them what they are doing can be hurtful to other children without seriously hurting them vs. an adult punching a child in the face which could seriously injure them or possibly send them to the hospital. Again, I wouldn't do either, but there is no comparison.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:01 AM
I understand and agree to an extent. I'm not saying what is an ok method or what works. Just the simple fact that you can take any method to the extreme and be doing it wrong.
Now what I've noticed is that different things work for different kids. I'd love to sit here and tell you a for sure method I used. But with my oldest daughter yelling an spanking would shut her down emotionally. Talks and physical punishment worked. Like push ups and running laps. I still use that with her. It gets the best results without crushing her.
With my son it's been so much harder. Spanking worked at first. But it wast long before we would have to take it up to a level I wasn't comfortable with so we did timeout. That didn't work well. We actually just had to avoid public until he started communicating and at home was hell. Still is sometimes. We really have tried everything he could understand.
Our youngest responds well if I just say no no. So I'm not saying one way is better or ok or whatever. I've made my mistakes. Biting a biter will not always work. It does for some though.


Quoting Anonymous:

Not that you implied this, but tell my girlfriend who is dealing with a 3 year old biter how well biting a child back works. She's done it twice and her dd is still biting. I was with her when she did it the second time and it was not done gently (no marks or skin broken, but she did it pretty hard). That's why I find these types of methods ridiculous.




Quoting Anonymous:

You choose which method discipline you want or like. But by law these are all acceptable. It's how far you take it. If you don't want to accept my answer fine. But it's not about if you agree or like it. That IS the difference. Yes same method, same principle. I agree. But the extent you take it to is way different. So there is your difference.






Quoting Anonymous:

And I say no they are not. You are repeating the same behavior that you are trying to correct. I don't care how you are doing it for the fact is you're doing it.








Quoting Anonymous:

I think people are forgetting an important thing here. The point is to teach the child the golden rule. If you don't something bad to someone it will also happen to you, so if you don't like it don't do it. In addition to teaching consequences. Every punishment or discipline tactic can be taken overboard. And I covered this before but maybe a different post.









Timeout for 1 minute per year of age is acceptable.




Locking child in dark room for hours is not









Spanking on the bottom not leaving marks with open hand acceptable.




Beating child with belt leaving welts is not acceptable.









Lightly biting child not breaking the skin or leaving marks acceptable.




Biting child so hard there's a bruise not acceptable.









Making child do extra chores acceptable.




Making child do soapy extra chores they don't sleep for two days not acceptable.









These are just examples of most discipline methods. The first being considered an acceptable way to use the method an the second being going over board. This is why biting and punching your child in the face are different.




MelanieMans
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:06 AM
No, I wouldnt bite either. They are kids and do not know better, thats why you teach them.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:07 AM
I am not judging you and you parent how you please but in my very strong opinion you should NEVER use exercise as a form of punishment. You want kids to have a positive association with exercising and that it's a good thing for them to be doing as often as possible. I am sorry but this one irks me.


Quoting Anonymous:

I understand and agree to an extent. I'm not saying what is an ok method or what works. Just the simple fact that you can take any method to the extreme and be doing it wrong.

Now what I've noticed is that different things work for different kids. I'd love to sit here and tell you a for sure method I used. But with my oldest daughter yelling an spanking would shut her down emotionally. Talks and physical punishment worked. Like push ups and running laps. I still use that with her. It gets the best results without crushing her.

With my son it's been so much harder. Spanking worked at first. But it wast long before we would have to take it up to a level I wasn't comfortable with so we did timeout. That didn't work well. We actually just had to avoid public until he started communicating and at home was hell. Still is sometimes. We really have tried everything he could understand.

Our youngest responds well if I just say no no. So I'm not saying one way is better or ok or whatever. I've made my mistakes. Biting a biter will not always work. It does for some though.




Quoting Anonymous:

Not that you implied this, but tell my girlfriend who is dealing with a 3 year old biter how well biting a child back works. She's done it twice and her dd is still biting. I was with her when she did it the second time and it was not done gently (no marks or skin broken, but she did it pretty hard). That's why I find these types of methods ridiculous.






Quoting Anonymous:

You choose which method discipline you want or like. But by law these are all acceptable. It's how far you take it. If you don't want to accept my answer fine. But it's not about if you agree or like it. That IS the difference. Yes same method, same principle. I agree. But the extent you take it to is way different. So there is your difference.








Quoting Anonymous:

And I say no they are not. You are repeating the same behavior that you are trying to correct. I don't care how you are doing it for the fact is you're doing it.










Quoting Anonymous:

I think people are forgetting an important thing here. The point is to teach the child the golden rule. If you don't something bad to someone it will also happen to you, so if you don't like it don't do it. In addition to teaching consequences. Every punishment or discipline tactic can be taken overboard. And I covered this before but maybe a different post.











Timeout for 1 minute per year of age is acceptable.





Locking child in dark room for hours is not











Spanking on the bottom not leaving marks with open hand acceptable.





Beating child with belt leaving welts is not acceptable.











Lightly biting child not breaking the skin or leaving marks acceptable.





Biting child so hard there's a bruise not acceptable.











Making child do extra chores acceptable.





Making child do soapy extra chores they don't sleep for two days not acceptable.











These are just examples of most discipline methods. The first being considered an acceptable way to use the method an the second being going over board. This is why biting and punching your child in the face are different.





kidlover2
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:09 AM
First, I don't agree with hitting anyone in the face, but this question is pointless. Yes parents ARE allowed to do things to their children that children will never be able to do to their parents. It's a foolish question.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:12 AM
What's foolish about it? You bite I bite you back you punch I punch you back. Same principle only one seems to be more "acceptable".


Quoting kidlover2:

First, I don't agree with hitting anyone in the face, but this question is pointless. Yes parents ARE allowed to do things to their children that children will never be able to do to their parents. It's a foolish question.

kidlover2
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:17 AM
It's foolish because a parent and a child are not equal. If a woman came up to me and started repeatedly slapping me in the face, most people would find it acceptable for me to slap her in the face. Not true for a child. On the other hand, if a child repeatedly is rude and disrespectful, an adult may speak to them as a voice of authority and give them consequences. Not true for two equal adults.

Quoting Anonymous:What's foolish about it? You bite I bite you back you punch I punch you back. Same principle only one seems to be more "acceptable".




Quoting kidlover2:

First, I don't agree with hitting anyone in the face, but this question is pointless. Yes parents ARE allowed to do things to their children that children will never be able to do to their parents. It's a foolish question.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:23 AM
Well I see your point and agree for the most part. I was afraid of this very thing, but she's very sensitive and I wasn't willing to crush her emotionally. Time outs were pointless. Extra chores didn't work. I rarely have issues with her. She gets punished maybe 2-3 times a month. And she still loves to exercise. She's a runner already at age 6. We can workout together and she does great. She cares about exercise and nutrition. But she can come home with a note and she knows she owes me a few push ups. But now she sets her own goals. I want less than 5 bad notes an she says she'll get 1 or less. She hits her mark every time.
This is why I say it depends on the kid. With our son I've just about given up for now. I couldn't get through to him in any way. But now that he's talking it's a whole different ball game. Very few issues compared to before. But we still have a long way to go. I am not jumping straight to push ups and stuff. And I don't like causing physical pain to get control.
I always welcome advice. I know I've made my share of mistakes. But the biggest thing I've learned is every kid is different and every kid responds differently. You have to find what works for your child. And I do appreciate your warning. Especially since you offer it in such a respectful way.


Quoting Anonymous:

I am not judging you and you parent how you please but in my very strong opinion you should NEVER use exercise as a form of punishment. You want kids to have a positive association with exercising and that it's a good thing for them to be doing as often as possible. I am sorry but this one irks me.




Quoting Anonymous:

I understand and agree to an extent. I'm not saying what is an ok method or what works. Just the simple fact that you can take any method to the extreme and be doing it wrong.


Now what I've noticed is that different things work for different kids. I'd love to sit here and tell you a for sure method I used. But with my oldest daughter yelling an spanking would shut her down emotionally. Talks and physical punishment worked. Like push ups and running laps. I still use that with her. It gets the best results without crushing her.


With my son it's been so much harder. Spanking worked at first. But it wast long before we would have to take it up to a level I wasn't comfortable with so we did timeout. That didn't work well. We actually just had to avoid public until he started communicating and at home was hell. Still is sometimes. We really have tried everything he could understand.


Our youngest responds well if I just say no no. So I'm not saying one way is better or ok or whatever. I've made my mistakes. Biting a biter will not always work. It does for some though.






Quoting Anonymous:

Not that you implied this, but tell my girlfriend who is dealing with a 3 year old biter how well biting a child back works. She's done it twice and her dd is still biting. I was with her when she did it the second time and it was not done gently (no marks or skin broken, but she did it pretty hard). That's why I find these types of methods ridiculous.








Quoting Anonymous:

You choose which method discipline you want or like. But by law these are all acceptable. It's how far you take it. If you don't want to accept my answer fine. But it's not about if you agree or like it. That IS the difference. Yes same method, same principle. I agree. But the extent you take it to is way different. So there is your difference.










Quoting Anonymous:

And I say no they are not. You are repeating the same behavior that you are trying to correct. I don't care how you are doing it for the fact is you're doing it.












Quoting Anonymous:

I think people are forgetting an important thing here. The point is to teach the child the golden rule. If you don't something bad to someone it will also happen to you, so if you don't like it don't do it. In addition to teaching consequences. Every punishment or discipline tactic can be taken overboard. And I covered this before but maybe a different post.













Timeout for 1 minute per year of age is acceptable.






Locking child in dark room for hours is not













Spanking on the bottom not leaving marks with open hand acceptable.






Beating child with belt leaving welts is not acceptable.













Lightly biting child not breaking the skin or leaving marks acceptable.






Biting child so hard there's a bruise not acceptable.













Making child do extra chores acceptable.






Making child do soapy extra chores they don't sleep for two days not acceptable.













These are just examples of most discipline methods. The first being considered an acceptable way to use the method an the second being going over board. This is why biting and punching your child in the face are different.






livelaughlov26
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:25 AM
Both are wrong.
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