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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I blew up at my husband tonight, and I'm not sure I feel bad about it

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 82 Replies
1 mom liked this

Oh dear Lord, I am so upset and frustrated!!

My dh suffers from depression. Extreme, debilitating depression. He has been this way for years. He has tried a few different meds, he sees a therapist but is not doing a whole lot to help himself. She has given him lots of things to do and try that would help him feel better, but he refuses.

Every day is the same promises: I'll get up in the morning, I'll look for a job, I'll pitch in and do housework while you're at work. Every day it's the same. Nothing

Today he was in a bad mood. He has been wanting to move out of state and I am not willing to do so. He is not getting his way so he is upset.  He is disappointed so he sleeps all day. All week long I have been putting off buying Easter things for the kids.  He told me he'd do it today. Well 7 pm rolls around and he's still in bed.  I am PISSED.  I kept asking him kindly to please get up, that I will go to the store but one of us has to be awake to watch the kids. I asked him several times and he kept saying " stop stressing, I'll get up in a few minutes".This went on for an hour.

I then asked him to please get up so I would not have to drive back home when it was really dark, and he said "Oh boo hoo, you may have to drive in the dark, waa".  Now I have  not got the best eyesight and I need new glasses. This comment really set me off.  I blew up. I told him "I am not the one who is too weak to handle life or anything that is not perfect. You're gonna mock me? You're the biggest wuss I know, you fall apart and head to sleep if life isn't what you want it to be.  I am sick of your depression being used as a weapon to bludgen me with, sick of you using it to punish me with when things don't go your way. Now I'm sure you will fall apart and sleep another week, but I don't even care anymore"

UGH, he got up about a minute later.  I went out and cooled off.  I am really not sure how much longer I can do this. I love him, I do, but I can't stand this.  He needs to help himself and he won't. I would do anything for him but I clearly can't help him against his will....

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2013 at 10:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2013 at 10:57 PM

Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2013 at 10:58 PM

wow..i coulda written your post word for word.... i know how it feels

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2013 at 10:59 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

wow..i coulda written your post word for word.... i know how it feels

How long have you been married?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2013 at 10:59 PM

what finally got my dh off his ass was his MOTHER of all people...he can't help his own family, but he can go 2000mi away to 'help' his mother...dunno how much help he'll actually be, as he can't remember a damn thing from minute to minute, much less handle/manage money or bills. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 30, 2013 at 10:59 PM
That is very hard to have to deal with. I'm sorry oure going through this. I also feel people too often use depression as their excuse to be lazy and self centered. I've had enough of them in my life and it sucks.
Good luck and I hope he at least tries to help himself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 30, 2013 at 11:00 PM

going on 19yrs


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

wow..i coulda written your post word for word.... i know how it feels

How long have you been married?



Val99
by Ruby Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 11:00 PM

I couldn't handle that so you are a much better person than I am.

marie2409
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 11:00 PM
Wow. I can't imagine your situation. I have no good advice except that I think your reaction was totally justified.
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csxt99
by Jennifer on Mar. 30, 2013 at 11:00 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm with you!  I have dealt with depression for decades, but I never had the luxury of crawling into bed and sleeping my life away.  He needs to have a good kick in the pants to get him out of bed.  Time for him to get up, get help, and get on with his damn life!  If that is too much for him, then it may be time for you to toss him out on his butt.  He is dragging you, and ultimately, the kids into the abyss with him.

Amanda7409
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 11:00 PM
He sounds lazy. I get that depression is real but as an adult you get up and deal with life anyway. I don't blame you for being sick of it!
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