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My 11 yr old stole from me?? Pissed and shocked....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So today we have plans to take 3 yr old ds to the movies (croods) his very first movie, we have had him on computer looking at the trailers and games, etc. so he is so excited.. and then I go to check my purse for cash and see my atm card is gone.  I just picked ds 11 up at airport and am thinking crap I lost it there.... check my bank account and 400.00 cash was taken out (just then) then I refresh it and see 220 was put back in.  So freaking out and then CLICK CLICK brain Im like okay where did ds go?? Little shit went to the atm took out money, then put some back in, so I call him and tell him Im calling the cops someone stole my atm card and took money out.. and he said it was me, but I put it back in.  I WAS LIKE SERIOUSLY what about the other 180.00. I'm almost home, I'll bring it to you.. I hung up on him, I didnt know what to say or how to react.  He gets home with most of it but before I called him he went and bought a card for his i-phone.  WTF ???

Seriously I am so shocked, I couldnt call his actual dad b/c he has been such a F***head lately about everything saying anything that happens grades, bad attitude, etc is my fault, and my actual ds (so his step dad) would love for my son to have done something wrong, b/c my ss is such a frickin mess. So I had no one to talk to about it.

My ss same age has RAD so its like living with a psychotic, crazy, 2-faced, person 24/7 but ofcourse he is only a child still.  So there are constant problems (he is with mil right now to give us a break) but for the one kid who is never in trouble and never a problem to do something so horrible, I dont know what to do or how to take care of it.  Im horrified, I ofcourse told him he was grounded and would be cleaning, chores etc for the next 2 weeks until I tell him he's paid the debt back. And we talked and talked about it, but I'm still at a loss..

I dont know if it has anything to do with my ex telling (just this week while he was there) him all the child support should go directly to my ds because its for him, and he would take out $50 and send it directly to him monthly.  Meaning Im being shorted $50. b/c he thinks he can do whatever he wants. I just dont know at all.... is he wanting attention b/c the other one is always causing problems and issues??

****For people who dont get it - It is a simple process, you can hit deposit on the atm or you can hit withdrawal, and he has known my pin forever. Its 2 blocks from our home, it was simple, he went there, did it, came home.  I need real advice and help from mom's who actually want to help, not a bunch of idiots who think its some kind of joke that yesterday my kid was acting like a criminal!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 31, 2013 at 4:40 AM
Replies (81-90):
leota29
by Silver Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:42 AM
I think I was probably 14? Before I knew what those things were. 16 before I had my own account and my own card. My thinking is just so far behind the times. I really need to catch up or my kids are going to be so far behind other children their age in school.


Quoting Anonymous:

Not really. I remember being sent down to the corner store for booze and smokes in elementary school but I still knew how to use my ATM card at 11 and debit card at 16.




Quoting leota29:

So I'm not the only one behind? Lol!


I'm so old I remember my dad writing a note and sending me to get him cigarettes when I was maybe 10 or 11 that's how old I am. Does that explain why I'm so lost on this stuff? Lol!





Quoting Anonymous:Lol my 8 year old wanted to go next door to the gas station so I handed her my debot card and my soster was so amazed that she knew how to use it lol her kids are all little





Quoting leota29:Its really no different the when our parents would hand us cash and send us to the store 24 years ago when I was that age, its just one of those things I had never really thought about until now is all. I'm so far behind lol!!








Quoting Anonymous:My 8 year old knows how to use my debit card lo kids are pretty mature these days....OP as to punishment I would have called the police....stealing is a crime.





Quoting leota29:How does an 11 yo steal your debit card, leave the house and go to the ATM and take $400 out and then be able to just put $220 back in just like that? How does your CHILD know your pin number or even how to do all that? Seems strange to me. My kids are still babies so idk are kids just that advanced these days? And seriously he's 11? Wow!! I am so not ready for my babies to grow up.







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mom2ljh
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:43 AM
It sounds like you hit the nail on the head. It's probably a combination of feelig overshadowed by his stepbrother and his dad telling him he should get the CS. I don't understand people doing that shit. CS is not play money, it's money to raise a child. It isn't intended as allowance. I would tell his dad about the situation he has created.
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JBiiirdD
by No Day but Today on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:45 AM
He's 11 years old with an iPhone & you're asking us why he took money from you? ....
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leota29
by Silver Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:46 AM
I guess I just never thought about it till I read this post. I really need to catch up on things kids are doing and can do these days. My kids are babies so all this is new to me. Is it really so hard to believe that I didn't think about kids being able to for this kind of stuff??

I never even saw a debit card or ATM card till I was about 14. My parents never gave us access to that kind of thing and any allowance we got was in cash. If they sent us to the store for something it was with cash.

I wasn't being snarky I really truly was shocked by what kids know how to do these days.


Quoting TaLeahMB:

With all these gadgets and technology these days, you really think its that hard for an 11 year old to figure out an ATM machine? my mom taught my sister & I to use one. I was 10 when I received my first ever debit card when I had a little "job" helping the local flower man. Of course it was jointed with my mom, so theoretically I could have robbed her, but my mother would have killed me.



Quoting leota29:

How does an 11 yo steal your debit card, leave the house and go to the ATM and take $400 out and then be able to just put $220 back in just like that? How does your CHILD know your pin number or even how to do all that? Seems strange to me. My kids are still babies so idk are kids just that advanced these days? And seriously he's 11? Wow!! I am so not ready for my babies to grow up.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:49 AM

For the 10th time (not really) I did not buy the phone, my ex did, and clue to all of you who are so shocked by it, most of them have smart phones in middle school, so it is not uncommon at all. My ss also 11 but only in 5th, has a pre-paid and all his friends have phones too and he is still in grade school.....


Quoting JBiiirdD:

He's 11 years old with an iPhone & you're asking us why he took money from you? ....



Anonymous
by Anonymous 21 on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:52 AM
Beat his ass!!
idunno1234
by Gold Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:52 AM
2 moms liked this

You have an awful lot going on in your house and it seems that most of the relationships in your son's life at the moment involve some possible negativity (his mom and dad's continued anger at each other, his step brother's disruptive and destructive behavior, his dad sharing inappropriate information, your husband's possible jealousy of your 11 year old's lack of previous issues, a relatively new half brother... )

  The fact that this kind of delinquent behavior seems so out of character, it seems there's an awful lot going on inside your 11 year old.  I think you are handling it appropriately but as some have suggested, I think counseling would be an excellent idea.  Frankly, you shouldn't give a shit what any of us think because none of us know what its like to be you and in your life and I'm disgusted at some of the judgemental responses here.  You posted about something that most of us would think of as a traumatic event that could happen to any of us and you got skepticism and blame heaped on you.   No one, not one person, especially those that make condescending judgements about others, lead perfect lives, make perfect decisions or give perfect advice.

I have four kids, ages 11-21, and have found myself occasionally in situations where my children surprise me, not always in a good way .   Fortunately, those times are fairly rare for us but it always sucks and from personal experience, I know that it shifted your world a bit- you probably feel you will never look at him quite the same way again and it planted a seed of distrust that sucks beyond belief when it involves your children. 

Try to get him in to counseling, keep the lines of communication open with him, don't come down too hard on him and don't let others make you feel bad or denigrate your parenting skills.  I feel for you and I hope things get better.

baquick
by Ruby Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:55 AM
Same here. I know of at least 3 banks ehere you can do that

Quoting acrogodess:

I am surprised by how many people don't realize that you can withdraw money and deposit money from the ATM. If it is a cash deposit and not a check, the online banking account shows it immediately either as a deposit or a pending transaction. If I lost my debit card, the first thing I would do is check my online account to check for any transactions that I did not authorize
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kellynh
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:56 AM

I didn't read the responses yet... But honestly. Why in the hell are you posting this here? What the fuck did you DO? Did you call the cops and report it? This is way too serious for anything else. Call the cops... Period.. unless, you'd like him to continue... And add in any other person he can steal from to the list!! 

BTW, did you change your f'en pin? 





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Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:39 AM
Please don't go off on a tangent that has nothing to do with my question.
You did not answer what I asked.


Quoting Sarah32882:

I wouldn't let him have either considering the events.

IMO his parents should have discussed that together. Dad should not have put that in his head. Child support goes to the parent supporting the child, for living expenses not allowance.  Dad can't just unanimously designate how much allowance he receives while living in his mother's home. It would be different, if he sent child support and mailed an extra $50 to be used for his son. Her son should have asked first no matter what.


Quoting Anonymous:

So why can't he have $50 of the child support money?

He's old enough for a phone, but not an allowance?





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