You know how to piss me off???-Edit for some clarification
Manipulate your way into keeping my child away from me!
Yes....I'm about to knock this mother fucker out!
Xh is trying to tell me that he told me he had a 4 day weekend and said, "You always let me have him for my 4 day weekends". He also tried to give me the bullshit, "I was TRYING to be nice last weekend and let you have him on Saturday" and that I won't manipulate him out of his Easter that is "court ordered" to be his as well as Spring break.
Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!
If I could have reached through that phone, JFC!
First, I haven't had DS is 4 weekends....I wanted time with him to have fun before he left for spring break....and the fact he hates going to his dads.
Secondly, it's court ordered that *I* have DS ALL Spring break every year AND it's my year to have him for Easter AND there is nothing in the CO that states that I have to let him have DS all 4 days of the 4 day weekends and in the CO it states DS is to be switched to give each parent half/half with him on Easter.
So, who is the one being nice here? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? Not once have I withheld this child from him, not once have I not been accommodating and *I'm* manipulating him?????? He has lost his fucking mind!!!!!
So, we'll play his fucking game. We're going exactly as ordered from here on out. No more picking him up early, 6:30-6:45, you're late, you don't see him. No more 4 day weekends. No more switching holidays to be nice. It's a big 'ol FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!
Oh boy! He's barked up the wrong fucking tree!
I'm starting to calm down, for the most part. I'm sorry if the OP made me sound like a bitch or selfish. Allow me to explain why I'm upset for those of you who know the history behind this or know my story, please try and help others understand, that would be a huge help.
This guy, he's the definition of a narcassist. He has cheated, schemed, lied and neglected and abused me throughout our marriage. He never abused our DS, thankfully. This guy broke me down to nothing. I was nothing, I felt like nothing. His gaslighting (a form of abuse, google it for the information), his verbal abuse, mental, financial and psychological abuse was a lot to bare. Throughout our marriage, he never really had anything to do with our DS. If he had a dirty diaper after he checked it, he'd call me in to change it, even if it was just pee. He was gone ALL the time, sometimes for days at a time. He would be out roaming the streets or at races until 3 and 4am. His cars are his true love, not his son and especially not me, which I don't care anymore about, I care about our son. He, by choice, was not home to care for his son. I wasn't "allowed" to go anywhere without our DS. DS is my life and always has been. I was born to be a mommy so it wasn't that big of a deal, except when DS started asking where daddy was.
It got to the point where DS didn't even ask anymore, he was just used to his dad not being there which is sad. He'd cry if daddy was home and he wanted to hold him before his next text from his gf's came in. He never played with DS, never fed DS, never got up with DS, the whole bit.
We separated once before our divorce. He kicked me and our son out of our home for a girl. He never called DS, never asked to see DS, never sent him a letter, never asked me about DS....NOTHING. I foolishly went back to him and nothing changed. He was gone more frequently, more cheating, the abuse got far worse to the point I had a total mental breakdown. I began doing things I never thought I would. I wasn't the mom I should have been and all of a sudden he wants to come off as the hero dad, until I went into a psychiatric hospital. He REFUSED to keep DS during my stay. My mom had to drive the 4 hours to pick up DS from the babysitters, which she did gladly and agreed she'd keep him as long as I needed. During my hospitalization, I was diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder II, MDD and Battered Women's Syndrome. He never allowed me to seek treatment even though I knew something was wrong. "You don't need medicine, it's all in your head"......(gaslighting).
As I was hospitalized for 2 weeks, I asked him to bring me a few more pair of clothes, as I was in the clothes I had when I walked into the ER with and he convinced me that they wouldn't let me have my own. He never brought them, he never called, never came to visit. I was in the same clothes for 2 weeks! My mom said that he never called DS, never asked how he was, nothing. When I got out of the hospital, I found pictures all over Facebook of him and a girl. I found the house was "lived in" by another girl. He was playing house with another girl while I was trying to get better!
Our dog had puppies a few days after I was discharged. She was a horrible mother and I was a co-parent. I had to get up with the puppies to help her feed them. Then he left me, for no reason. I had no one. My medications were still adjusting and I wasn't ready for DS, yet. During this time, he still never had any interest in our son.
Soon, he turned off ALL services. I was in the GA heat with puppies with no electric, no water, no money,no phone. He overdrafted on purpose when he knew I was getting paid from my job. I had nothing left. I had to ask to use the phone at work for a quick 5 minute call with my son. I had to beg for food for my dog, I had to beg for water for my dog. I went hungry. I refused to allow DS back with me and my mom continued to keep him. I filed for divorce a year ago, yesterday but I still felt obligated to stay in the nasty, hot house because the lease still had 3 months and the dogs.
Finally, my parents had enough. They came up unexpectedly and packed up a uhaul while I was at work and came to my job and told me that we were leaving, they brought the only puppy left and left mom at the house because he refused to let me take her. I still have her puppy, by the way.
I moved back to Florida, things were looking far better, I was doing better because I got to be with DS. I got to be mommy again and the transition went smoothly. I was immediately enrolled back to school, per my parents orders and still am.
For 8 months, this guy still had nothing to do with his son....no calls, texts to me asking how he was doing, didn't care that he was in school, didn't want to have him visit....the works. He was ordered to pay spousal support via the Army.
Up until he got with his new girlfriend (who is actually a very pretty and sweet girl, poor thing :/), he had nothing to do with him. As always, he wanted to play house because of his girlfriend and be the "father of the year". He called out of the blue one day cussing me out claiming that I withheld his son from him that I didn't have DS call HIM, that I didn't ask HIM if he wanted DS, etc. He demanded DS for Thanksgiving break. I agreed.
He had his visitation and the night we were to meet up, I was on a 12 hour station clinical. We got a last minute call and I called him and told him I'd be about 30 minutes late because we had a call. He took off back to GA with DS for the week and laughed over the phone saying, "and there's nothing you can do about it." We didn't have a CO at the time and he was right, there was nothing I could do.
Christmas, he guilted me into him taking DS to Ohio, even though he already did the previous year. I wanted my year with DS. Nope, still didn't get it. In between, he still had nothing to do with DS.
The year went on and the divorce was being dragged out because either school or by his refusal to make any type of agreement.
He wanted his every other weekend, finally, playing an active roll in DS' life. I wanted him to do that! I was happy for DS, even though DS hates going to his dads and hates his girlfriend, for some reason. Regardless if XH is only doing this because of his girlfriend, I'm happy he wants to see DS but I know once they break up, it'll be back to the ignoring him.
I can't stress enough that I am NOT being selfish here. There is A LOT more to the story but you get the point. I have accomodated him so many times so he could see DS. I have let things go so he could see DS. I have been very nice in order for him to see DS. I haven't fought with him and I've tried soooo hard to work out these issues with him but he fights every.single.time because he doesn't get his way.
Now that we are officially divorce, we have a court order. I have bent the court order entirely too much. I actually have a no contact order because he has harrassed me so much and actually had the cops at my door for "kidnapping" our son during the time he was manipulating me for Christmas vacation. He also tried to call CPS on me for the same purpose.
I have to stick by this court order or he's going to try and keep doing this to me. I cannot do this anymore. I will not do this anymore. He got what he got via the judge and that's that.