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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I know it isn't my problem but...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
***If you plan on telling me it's none of my business or to mind my own, please keep it to yourself... I need opinions on the question not myself.***

My boyfriend hasn't spoken to his father in 3 going on 4 years because of his dad just not making an effort.

His dad up and left the house when BF was 12, and now (14 years later) has an entirely new family with a wife who is only a year older than BF and a new baby.

It really tears BF up that he hasn't heard from him in so long, and he doesn't even have his new number or address to try to reach out.

Here's my question:
I was bored one time and decided to use BeenVerified.com during one of their free month full trials.
My BF knew I was on it, and jokingly told me to look up his info. (BF's, not his dad)
So I did. Boring stuff, not a serial killer lol.

BUT he doesn't know that his dad's updated info was connected to his profile because he's family.

Now, I have his dad's address and phone number.

I know most of you are going to say to just tell my BF and give him the info. I can't/won't. Any time I bring up his dad he almost cries and pretty much says he's at the point of not wanting to put forth the effort just to have it not returned.

Should I write an anon letter to his dad and just pretty much say that it would mean a lot to his son if he called him? Or maybe a random creeper call to say the same?

Idk. Maybe put the ball in his court without BF knowing, that way his dad knows but BF won't be disappointed if nothing comes of it?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Motherof3inNJ
by Gold Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:28 PM

DF has taken it upon himself to fix my situation with my mother and younger sister and it made it much worse. If it was me, I'd leave it alone.

1likeme
by Gold Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:29 PM
Do not do that. Contacting his father behind his back is wrong. Give your BF the informations and let him make contact on his terms.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:34 PM
True. But how would I bring it up? I've tried...

Quoting 1likeme:

Do not do that. Contacting his father behind his back is wrong. Give your BF the informations and let him make contact on his terms.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:34 PM

My dh knows where his father is (has never been in my dh's life) and I asked him to reach out to his dad after the birth of our daughter. 2 years later he did. This man acted like they were old friends and asked my dh why HE doesn't keep in touch. He hasn't reached out to  my dh in 30 yrs. Then he let my dh know that him and his gf were expecting a baby. So my daughter will be 7 this summer and my sister in law is 5.

BEXi
by BEXi on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Dont ask the man to call his child- it wouldnt be sincere.

The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:36 PM

Whatever you do, don't contact the dad behind his back. If it were me, I would just tell him that you have his info and hand it over.

BEXi
by BEXi on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:37 PM

Just tell him the truth about how you found it. Tell him you have the information just in case he wants to contact his father.

He needs closure, I can tell he WANTS it too- but it needs to be on his own time.

Quoting Anonymous:

True. But how would I bring it up? I've tried...

Quoting 1likeme:

Do not do that. Contacting his father behind his back is wrong. Give your BF the informations and let him make contact on his terms.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:38 PM

DO NOT CONTACT ANYONE!!! Leave things alone....

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:39 PM
You're right, he's just so stubborn. I wish he wasn't :/

Quoting BEXi:

Just tell him the truth about how you found it. Tell him you have the information just in case he wants to contact his father.

He needs closure, I can tell he WANTS it too- but it needs to be on his own time.

Quoting Anonymous:

True. But how would I bring it up? I've tried...



Quoting 1likeme:

Do not do that. Contacting his father behind his back is wrong. Give your BF the informations and let him make contact on his terms.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:40 PM

You may not want to hear it, but my advice is to leave it alone.  If you easily found this info, either one of them could too if they really wanted to.   I haven't spoken to my mom since 4 years before my husband and I met, and if my husband inserted himself in that situation I would be damned pissed off.  I would not thank him.  I would not be happy.

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