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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Neighbors daughter confided in me.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

My neighbors daughter is 15. Her mother is bad news and lives about an hour away and she lives with her father. He is a very nice man but is overwhelmed and they are struggling financially. She comes to my house a lot and I make sure she eats right and I buy her little things that girls like and take her shopping for some new clothes on her birthday and holidays since I know how cruel kids can be and most of her clothes come from church donations. 

I love having her here and my 4 year old absolutely adores her. Today though she confided that she was thinking of having sex with her boyfriend. I know her family is pretty religious and a 15 year old doesn't need to be having sex! Especially not her since she is rather a young acting 15 and not very mature at all. I gave her some vague advice and dangers for her age but I don't want to overstep into a parents territory. But she did confide in me so i don't want to betray her trust either. I don't have a girl and my child is very young so I'm just lost at how to answer or what to do. She is coming over tomorrow morning and coming to my college with me to see what classes are like since her Dad is working all day.

Can anyone offer some advice?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:13 AM

BUMP!

cwahtomy
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:14 AM
Maybe start out by asking what she know about sex and its consequences... is she emotionally and physically ready for this sort of action etc.
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paganmommy4
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:16 AM

I wouldnt say anything because she might get in super huge trouble from her dad. What is her dad like?

If you know him, have a nice neighborly concerned parent chat.. Like I love you daughter like she was my own kid and she does chat with me about girl stuff, if she were to say anything that made me go hmm would you want to know? Or only about life threatening things? 

Me personally, Id want to know if it could potentially hurt her.. I think at 15, shes obviously made up her mind.. So be prepared for the backlash.. just advise her to be safe..

graciesnycmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:17 AM
While you feel that you may be over stepping, I wouldn't be so vague. Better to overstep then her get accidentally pregnant. She's probably not comfortable discussing this with her dad.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:17 AM

I sort of did that today and it seems like she doesn't know much other than the physicality and nothing about an emotional aspect. I KNOW her father has never had "the talk" with her but is it my place to do it?

Quoting cwahtomy:

Maybe start out by asking what she know about sex and its consequences... is she emotionally and physically ready for this sort of action etc.


little.one0216
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:19 AM
You might not want to over step but you may be the only one she is talking to about this. I wouldn't provide her with condoms, but tell her the risks and help her make an educated choice as well as pushing her to use condoms. I'd rather accodently over step than to see her pregnant later knowing I could have had a part in preventing it.
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Sunshine257
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:20 AM
I would give her a sex talk explain the need
For protection. Like the poster above said I would rather overstep then let her go
Into it blind.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:21 AM

Her Dad is very nice. He is just a little lost I think when it comes to having a girl. I think that is a good suggestion so i can get his feelings without ratting on her and making her not trust me. Maybe he would like a female to talk to her since her Mom isn't around. I was expecting to have to the talk with anyone for awhile! My son is only 4!!

Quoting paganmommy4:

I wouldnt say anything because she might get in super huge trouble from her dad. What is her dad like?

If you know him, have a nice neighborly concerned parent chat.. Like I love you daughter like she was my own kid and she does chat with me about girl stuff, if she were to say anything that made me go hmm would you want to know? Or only about life threatening things? 

Me personally, Id want to know if it could potentially hurt her.. I think at 15, shes obviously made up her mind.. So be prepared for the backlash.. just advise her to be safe..


HaleyCovington
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:24 AM
Make sure you explain to her that if she does have sex that that's her decision but at some point she will regret it. I've heard so many women say they wish they could take it back. I'm not religious and I can honestly say that I truly wish that my husband was my first and only. That's something I can only give once and I wasted it on someone who didnt even matter.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:24 AM
Just tell the truth without trying to sway her decision... I think if her parents are too uncomfortable to talk to her it's good that she is look for advice. If you aren't taking her to get protection, or telling her what to do giving truthful information is okay.
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