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Marriage counseling and haven't been married a year.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Do you think we're doomed? We've been together for a little over three years, we had only been together for a few months when I got pregnant.

After dd was born he took off for about three months, he was super drink and would come over to see her for like five minutes a week, call me a bitch and leave. After that he was super sorry and whatever, he got me to forgive him and we got back together.
We got married in June of 2012, shortly after our dds first birthday. In August I found out I was pregnant again. I'm currently 9 months.

We don't scream and fight, we don't hit each other, we just ignore each other when one is mad. Until it caused serious issues.
He has in the past texted an ex of his in a very sexual way, had she not been two states away I know they would have hooked up. That was at the beginning of our relationship, I was like 5 months pregnant with dd.
Well two nights ago I was playing mrs. Pacman on his phone when it got a message, I opened it to make it go away it said something like "yeah we should all hang out"
He was texting an ex coworker of mine, they've been friends for years. The text that hurt me said "you know I've always had a thing for you, but I'm glad we are good friends"

I know it seems dramatic, but I'm ready to walk away, we haven't been together very long and if we have to put this much effort in already... He begged and pleaded to see a marriage counsler, he says he's depressed and wasn't looking for cheating, he just needed his ego rubbed but that's just as bad.
He disrespected me and our kids by doing that, I see this girl on a weekly bases.

I'm sorry if that was hard to understand, I'm just frustrated. He text me saying we have an appointment this Thursday, but I don't know if I want to go with him.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:45 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:15 AM
Dooomed 100%.
mich.el.le
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:17 AM

Go and tell the counselor about the texts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:20 AM
At this point we are completely ignoring each other. He works nights, so he sleeps all day, when he is awake he hangs out in our bedroom watching tv. We spend like five minutes a day together.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then now is a good time for counseling for you guys. It's worth a shot right? Try to pet his ego a little more, when we forget to give our partner attention they feel unloved. I was the one who stepped out in my marriage and I can tell you that if he set up counseling by himself he is probably sorry and doesnt want to cheat either.




Quoting Anonymous:

I just know he's one step away from actually cheating, I don't trust him. It's not a good feeling.


Good luck to you guys, I hope it all works out for you.





Quoting Anonymous:

Id wait until after counseling to decide if you're doomed or not.



Dh and I got married may '12 and we're starting counseling today! And we've been through actual infidelity so hopefully a good counselor can fix us :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Do you think it's something I could have prevented? I'm really upset that it's come to this. I do love him so much, I just don't want to be sad anymore.

Quoting Anonymous:

Dooomed 100%.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:23 AM

I dont understand why you would have married him in the first place.  Sounds like a dick all around.  You should have done counseling before you were married.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:24 AM
I def would if I decide to go.

Quoting mich.el.le:

Go and tell the counselor about the texts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:25 AM
I commend you for taking the time, effort and resources to work on a new marriage (because really, who doesn't have problems in the beginning?) rather than running from the problem.
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this

No, if you need it then you need it. The only doomed marriage are the people who arent willing to fix their issues.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:27 AM
I do love him, and I'm not completely innocent. But he's the one causing the major issues IMO, he's the one who keeps stepping out and he's the one who shuts down.
I don't know, I thought our issues were minor. I can see now that they aren't.

Quoting Anonymous:

I dont understand why you would have married him in the first place.  Sounds like a dick all around.  You should have done counseling before you were married.

TaralynnStewart
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:27 AM
This is why I'm a fan of pre-marriage counseling.
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