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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

2 year old asked why daddy doesnt love her**ETA**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dd and i were having cudle time this morning and i gave her a kiss and said"i love you" she said it back then got a sad look i asked what was wrong and she said "daddy not love me." i felt really bad and didnt know what to say.but i said"yes he does baby hes just busy lately" he hasnt seen her in over a month and its really starting to get to her.i feel so bad.i emailed him and told him he needs to just stay out of her life since he wants to be in and out all the time.she doesnt need a dad when its convieniant(sp?) to him.He will do great and be around all the time for a month or 2 then we wont hear from him for 2-3 months.we split up when she was 16 months old.now every time he has a girlfriend he wants nothing to do with her.i hate him because of how he does our daughter.she doesnt deserve this shit**EDIT** I have soul custody of her if the court thought he was a good dad they would have given him visitation.i let him see her because i thought it was best and he promised not to keep doing the in and out
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:49 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:16 PM
yea actually i do and i am thankful my mom kept him away!if the court thought he needed visitation they would have ordered it THEY DIDNT! I was letting him see her because he promised not to do this shit


Quoting Anonymous:


she will NEVER stop thinking about him. And she will one day ask about him again. 

Shame on you for not allowing your daughter to know who her dad is. I don't care if he comes around once a year!! 

Do you know what it is like to grow up not knowing your dad at all because your mom was not capable of thinking about your needs? Well, I do!! And you are not helping your daughter. You should just leave it alone and let her figure it out for herself. And she will one day. She will see which parents is there for her and which one isnt. But what you are doing is going to cause a lifetime of damage to your dd!! 


Quoting Anonymous:

i didnt send the email until after she said it today.and yes i told him to stay away he will just keep hurting her.eventually she will stop asking about him and it will be better





Quoting OneToughMami:

So saying "Daddy is an asshole and mommy told him to stay out of your life" is not the answer you want?







Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:17 PM

My heart is breaking for your DD but with that being said I dont think you handled it the right way. I think you need to sit down with her father and talk to him like a respectful adult. I think you need to have a heart to heart with him about your guys child. I have a feeling you have a BIG part in this as well  and I thinky uo are putting all the blame on him.

baby_mama91
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:17 PM

u just have to reasure her that he does. and dont "bad mouth" him in front of her. im a single mother of 2 and my son has never met his father because hes in prison, and my daughter dont like her dad because "hes scary" so we dont let her go to his house but we do lt her see him in public even if it is convieant for him. they just need to be reasured some times.. she will be ok... but idk where ur at but in michigan a mother cant keep a child from the father and vise verse, i mean we can try but they can take us to court and do whatever they have to, to be able to se their child.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:21 PM


You cannot force him to be more involved. And he most likely isn't because of YOU. Why not try to back off a bit and let whatever happens happen. It is not your relationship to control, it is his. He does not control your relationship with her. 

The courts gave you sole custody because she has been with you since birth. If you truly wanted your daughter to know her father than you would get along with him for her sake. You would work out an arrangement. 

I would rather the dad come around once a year than have to answer the question "who's my daddy" 

And I say this out of experience. I have 2 children 2 ex's and both pay CS and both spend time with their kid. It was a battle just like you are going through. But nobody knows what the future holds

Quoting Anonymous:

i sent the email today.i have tried MANY times to get him to bw more involved.the court clearly agrees with me or i wouldnt have full custody.i let him see her because he promised not to do this again well he did so now we are going to go with the courts decision


Quoting Anonymous:

i'm sorry but i think you're in the wrong. It is not your relationship to dictate how often he will see her. You should have just left it alone and encouraged a better relationship not tried to force it. She clearly misses him.

You don't know what the future holds. People change. Just because he is not coming around consistantly now does not mean that it would have never happened. You need to call him or email him and get him back in her life. 





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:22 PM
i just added it but i have full custody he has no visitation thes court ordered


Quoting baby_mama91:

u just have to reasure her that he does. and dont "bad mouth" him in front of her. im a single mother of 2 and my son has never met his father because hes in prison, and my daughter dont like her dad because "hes scary" so we dont let her go to his house but we do lt her see him in public even if it is convieant for him. they just need to be reasured some times.. she will be ok... but idk where ur at but in michigan a mother cant keep a child from the father and vise verse, i mean we can try but they can take us to court and do whatever they have to, to be able to se their child.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:22 PM

I told my ex that once, didn't go over well. We tried for a little while to get a schedule up and work with it... well, I tried..... He would "forget" days, miss calling, things like that. He owes a lot of back support so I get his income tax money and last year he tried to get me to allow him to claim the kids on his taxes (he can't because they don't live with him and he has never had them for more than a few hours). I told him no and he got really upset and started calling me names and what not, after I ended that communication he has abandonned my children. 

I have found that it is best not to try and force them to be around or stay away. They will take care of it on their own. It hurts us as parents to watch our kids fo through this but there isn't much we can do. Since you have full custody then you can tell him no if he calls. Don't go out of your way to tell him that. 

smushy79
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:23 PM

 Look, you let him know. I would see how things go for a bit longer and if he doesnt step up, I would cut it off.

baby_mama91
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:24 PM

oh ok. then all u can really do is reasure her thet he DOES love her


CorpCityGrl
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:25 PM

Oh no!  This just broke my heart.  I'm so sorry for your little girl :(  He needs to either be in her life and be present or not be in it at all.  It's not fair to do that to your little girl.  He needs to treat her with respect and place some kind of priority on her, otherwise, he needs to get out of her life.  She's confused and she's at a very impressionable age.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:26 PM
you dont get it we have had shit worked out and agreed on several times but he goes back on it.im not going to let him be in and out as he pleases i dont care what others think i KNOW this is whats best for my daughter.i know how he is with her i know what he does.


Quoting Anonymous:


You cannot force him to be more involved. And he most likely isn't because of YOU. Why not try to back off a bit and let whatever happens happen. It is not your relationship to control, it is his. He does not control your relationship with her. 

The courts gave you sole custody because she has been with you since birth. If you truly wanted your daughter to know her father than you would get along with him for her sake. You would work out an arrangement. 

I would rather the dad come around once a year than have to answer the question "who's my daddy" 

And I say this out of experience. I have 2 children 2 ex's and both pay CS and both spend time with their kid. It was a battle just like you are going through. But nobody knows what the future holds


Quoting Anonymous:

i sent the email today.i have tried MANY times to get him to bw more involved.the court clearly agrees with me or i wouldnt have full custody.i let him see her because he promised not to do this again well he did so now we are going to go with the courts decision





Quoting Anonymous:

i'm sorry but i think you're in the wrong. It is not your relationship to dictate how often he will see her. You should have just left it alone and encouraged a better relationship not tried to force it. She clearly misses him.

You don't know what the future holds. People change. Just because he is not coming around consistantly now does not mean that it would have never happened. You need to call him or email him and get him back in her life. 








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