***NEWEST INFO!! ****** ANOTHER UPDATE!! WOW!! UPDATE! How would you react if you found out that your 16 year old has a POF account??
4/2 - Update
So I texted BM saying we need to talk. Then I texted SD saying I would like to talk to you... here is the convo between SD and I:
Me: I'd like to talk with you
Her: about what
Me: your online account
Her: It's gone
Me: I want you to google online predators. This is serious shit.
Her: I know. You should have dad delete his (him and i broke up a few months back and he had a POF account)
Me: He did
Me: I created an account when your dad and I broke up and I had men sending me pics of their penises before even talking to me! I learned fast that men on that site want one thing, and if they think you are of age, they won't hesitate to be dirty to you
Me: Don't worry about your dad. This isn't his wrong doing.
Her: He could have just talked to me about it and made me delete it. Instead of coming to my grandpa. I'm done trying with him. Idc anymore.
Me: It's not his fault H. He wanted to make sure the situation was gonna be taken care of. He didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, but I understand where he's coming from.
Her: Yea he should have taken care of the situation all he did was stress everyone out, my om was already aware of it.
Me: Well i don't see how him informing your grandpa is a big deal! If you didn't want your grandpa to know, you shouldn't have had the account.
Her: No I don't care that he knew. I just don't see why he couldn't have said something to me? He's supposed to be my dad. And doesn't act like it whatsoever.
Me: Well remember when he tried being your dad a couple years ago, and you decided you didn't want anything to do with him? Well he backed off bc his parenting backfired on him. Your mom and him were on two totally different pages on how to raise you!
Me: He didn't want to let this slip bc he was very worried about your safety, so the best thing he could think of was to talk to your grandpa since your grandpa seems to be allowed to discipline you!
Me: and he is not happy at all that you would even create an account on a site like that let alone lie about your age, and I can see why! That's a good way to get hurt! Predators are online all the time posing as someone they are not!
Her: Okay I'm sorry
Me: I love you very much! I just want you to realize how scary people can be in this world!
Her: I love you too, I know I had no buisness being on there. Honestly, I don't even know why I made one, I guess just to make one.
Me: It's okay, maybe you were lonely bc of you and AJ breaking up?
Her: Yeah I was lonely, and still am. but I was never going to like meet anyone off of there, I just wanted to see what it was like cause N (her older cousin) had one so I just thought it would be cool
Me: Ave :( Well if you start feeling lonely, you should go take a walk or read a book or do something to keep you from feeling down. And I undestand what you are saying
Her: Okay I'll try reading
Me: :) You will get through this. And remember, you are strong and independent and don't need a guy to fulfull your loneliness or make you happy!
Me: Being single is by far better anyway lol
Her: Thanks V, I love you and I really am sorry about the POF for real.
Me: It's okay H. I love you too. And we have all felt like that... just make clearer decisions from now on, for your own sake and safety.
Her: okay I will
Me: Your dad said he thinks you need more family time with us! :) I suggested a father daughter date night for you two. without any fighting or arguing. lol (for the last couple years, she's chosen to be in and out of our lives because she didn't like our rules).
Me: We really do love you! He just still thinks of you as his baby girl and doesn't want you to grow up! He may not say the right things and says shit out of anger, but I know he means the best (for him anyway)
Her: I think that's a good idea, if he'd actually do it with me :/ and I know he does.
Me: He was talking about taking you and your little sister on a daddy daughter date the other day! I will try to set a night up!
Her: Okay thanks :)
Me: No problem!
I do not know if she is in any trouble as of right now. But I do know her grandpa made her delete the account immediately. Her mom was texting me asking for help to delete it... that's about it. So hopefully we don't come across this problem again! And now that I am reading through our conversation today, I feel there are some things i should have said better or been more clear on... but I guess I can save it for our next lil talk!
So her dad went over and talked to her grandpa... APPARENTLY BM knew all about this account, and her and SD have been trying to delete it because SD's friend made it for her. I call BULLSHIT. Since I saw SD loggin into it yesterday and today it says she's been on there.
Well now she's texting her dad saying he should have come to her instead of her grandpa, and he is causing unwanted stress in the house, and mom already knew about it, and she never wants to see him again, and he shouldn't tell her how to live because he's such a screw up as it is.... WOW. Just wow
I texted BM and said we need to talk, then texted SD and said I want to talk to her. I am over this disrespect and bullshit, I WILL BE GIVING MY TWO CENTS. They can take it how they want. SD IS SOOOOO LUCKY no one has raped her or hurt her yet!!!! UGH...
WOW I'm just pissed. I better calm down before talking to anyone else...
For those of you asking, POF is a free online dating site for 18 and older...
I did find my stepdaughter's account. I had to create a fake one to get to it though. She has on there that she is 19, and a "social drinker". I did talk to her dad... he is going straight to her mom and her Grandpa (she lives with her mom and grandparents) and showing them her account (I forwarded the link to her account). He wants to make sure she isn't there at first, because she is going to throw a fit and start accusing him of shit (like she's done in the past). Thank you all for your responses!
So yesterday, I am sitting on the couch at MIL's house, and my 16 year old stepdaughter is sitting next to me... i look over at her to talk to her, and I had to do a double take, but she was logging into POF on her phone... WTF?!?! I thought that site was strictly for 18 and older.... maybe I am wrong???
How would you react? Would this bother you, or would you trust that your 16 year old would be responsible with online dating?
Honestly, I am a bit worried about her. I know her mom wouldn't give two shits that she is on a dating site. SD doesn't know that i saw her on it, so if I say something, I don't want her to lie her way out of it (like she does everything else), and make me look like I'm out to get her (which has happened before too).
I think she has issues... like severely. She has attachment issues. It's pretty sad at the age of 16, she feels like she has to be with a guy... and she seems to go with the older guys. I'm not the only one who has noticed, but others have too... I have had people tell me it sounds like she is too into dating and boys... and she may need some therapy.
Should i approach this with her mom? Her mom is the one in full control of her... her dad is treated like the bad guy every time he steps in and tries to parent her. Should I even bring this up to her mom, since she doesn't seem to care about anything she does???