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visitors after birth

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
I Have decided that this time around when I have my baby I dont want anyone with me except my dh (he was there the last time but his mom had tried to wiggle her way in last time and will say I know her better so she should be allowed in but not happening). Well I am not wanting visitors this time around because my daughter will be 15 months when i give birth and im going to try to do a vbac (second birth and 1st vbac so im nervous I will need another csection). Well I decided it will be better for ny daughter to be able to bond with her sibling at the hospital since she wil be able to stay the whole time including nights. Last time his mom was drunk and disrespectful and I know she will be all about the new baby and not my older and also having to probably go through a csection I dont want to deal with her mouth or rudeness.
She is already upset about not knowing the gwnder yet even though no one knows it. Well I havent told her no visitors so how would I even go through with telling her and I know she will repeatedly ask so should i say we wont have visitors and no asking again or I will not talk to you until you can respect my wishes with my body and mine and your sons decisions about our child.
Is there any nice ways to say before you ask to be there while i give birth im not having anyone there so dont bring it up or ask everyday for the last month of my pregnancy and im not having visitors because i do not want any because they are too hecric and dont want to have to deal with them after i give birth. So please do not ask.

Im not being rude but I know whats best for me because I dont like having people see me in certain situations because I am not comfortable (I was raped for years so i cover up my body and jo one sees it except my SO and I know im not comfortable with others seeing me in any way especially if I have tk see them alot) and she is always drunk and I dont want to be around it when im giving birth or have her show up high on whatever drug shes using .
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jsjammerz
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:05 PM
I'd tell her that you only want dh in the room becase anymore people would increase your stress level. If she protests, have your doctor write a note to say that more people will create more stress. Let the nurses know who's alowed in so they can stop her from coming in the room. Good luck!
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Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Don't tell her you are in the hospital until after you get home.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:12 PM
I wanted that last time but he cant keep shit from his mother and can barelt say no to her. A total mams boy but hes gotten better so I hope he is more understanding lol. I will try and keep it a secret but if I do that I will get bitched at because I kept ir a secret and robbed her of something special.

Quoting Bigmetalchicken:

Don't tell her you are in the hospital until after you get home.


jtsmommie0104
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:15 PM

Tell her the truth, if not she can be escorted to the hospital. 

Just say : I would prefer not to have any visitors until after due to the circumstanes of my birthing plan

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:18 PM

I didn't want anyone there either when I gave birth  - I went in the night before to be induced and that people knew, but I ended up naturally going into labor in the middle of the night -  I called everyone after DD had arrived in the morning 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:19 PM

I would let her know and then I would let your nurses know. My nurses, during both of my births, were more than happy to play bouncer and told me so up front. 

Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:19 PM

Tell him, "I will keep it simple for you. I am letting the hospital staff no that she is barred from visiting. If you tell her that I am in the hospital, or that she can visit, you will be barred too."

I am not one to get like that with my husband, but if he started behaving like that,  would have no problem putting my foot down.  

Quoting Anonymous:

I wanted that last time but he cant keep shit from his mother and can barelt say no to her. A total mams boy but hes gotten better so I hope he is more understanding lol. I will try and keep it a secret but if I do that I will get bitched at because I kept ir a secret and robbed her of something special.

Quoting Bigmetalchicken:

Don't tell her you are in the hospital until after you get home.



lil-thumper23
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:22 PM

i would explain to ur doctor the situation. also tell the nurses when you go in to labor. its ur body if you dont want her there thats ur choice!!!!! also explain to dh mommas boy or not he needs to have ur back!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:24 PM

 You don't really owe anyone an explanation for your decisions.  HOWEVER, if she is being pushy AND you don't want your husband to cave, I'd tell a little white lie and say that the doctor/hospital is giving you a special courtesy (i.e. they are "testing the waters" with a new pilot program) by letting your little one stay, but that means they want to restrict outsiders from also coming in to be better able to keep tabs on you since they are "fairly certain" you will need a c-section.  Since it is so important to you to have your daughter there, it will pre-empt others from coming, too.  Then tell her that you knew when you agreed to this policy that the "hospital has" that it would be okay because she is such a "loving grandparent" and would want what is best for the children.  I would carry this story over to my husband so he doesn't slip up.  If he/she finds out the truth, blame it on "pregnancy brain" and say you must have misinterpreted :)

wumbo
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:27 PM
You can tell the hospital not to let anyone know if youre there or what room youre in. They cant tell anyone, even family.
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