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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do some people make you uncomfortable? - ADDENDUM

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 57 Replies

So I tried to post this a couple weeks ago, but my title was unacceptable and CM deleted it before I saw any of the responses. I hope they don't delete this one because I'm not trying to be racist, but have an open, respectful discussion of how we can be more accepting and understanding of each other.

Here's my confession: I feel intimidated by black people.

Some black people make me more intimidated than others. Typically, women affect me more than men (most black men I find are very respectful). Blacks (usually women) who carry attitudes that make me feel like I'm automatically racist simply because I'm white are the worst. Honestly, I think my discomfort has more to do with certain ways that some black people behave and not as much their skin color. I want my children to not let skin color affect how they feel about people. For instance, I taught them to describe black people as brown people because technically they are brown, not black. And technically white people aren't "white". I would like them to have more "brown" friends, but we're not connected with the subculture of predominantly brown people. My oldest son's best friend is mixed, so that's a start. He goes to church with us and he's being raised by his white aunt. And here's something I've always wondered: what do you want to be called? African American? If I call you that, shouldn't you be calling me European American? Are you okay being called black? Or do you feel that saying you're brown is respectful?

I'm asking if you can give me some perspective so I can be comfortable with all black people. I want to understand them better. And I only want a respectful discussion. If you want to bash, please go somewhere else to be mean. I will delete the post if it becomes nasty.

Addendum

This was a reply that explains why I made this post; to gain knowledge of a particular subculture of people so I no longer fear the unkown:

This thread is really interesting to read. It's telling me that it has a LOT to do with demographic - where you live, what people's socioeconomic status is, etc. It's very interesting to see people's take on the topic.

My two cents: Race DOES have something to do with behavior, because with race (often times) comes a culture. White American culture is different from Black culture, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, etc. When you look even closer, Italian American culture is very different from, say, those of Irish descent. Then you can definitely get into subcultures, which are another thing all together. 

I think the discomfort comes more from lack of knowledge of another person's culture, versus the color of their skin. It's the fear of something we don't know or understand, and the fear of being judged or excluded. Human beings flock to others who are similar to them, because it's comfortable. Whether that be race, gender, religion, parenting style, sexual orientation, a hobby, occupation, etc. We're all more comfortable around people who are like us. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
UxorQuodMatris.
by Ruby Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:49 AM
Dummies make me uncomfortable. I often wonder how some people have lived so long.
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thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I think they only want to be called their name

jesistar6910
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:51 AM

If you want to understand a black person better, go out and meet one. Start a conversation, and I bet that you will find you have a lot of things in common.

I have yet to meet a person who truly makes me "uncomfortable."

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:53 AM

I'm wondering this: Where do you live and have you ever lived anywhere else?

Hannahluvsdogs
by Ruby Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:54 AM

"Brown" is associated with people of Indian descent, so I don't think that's a better word choice. My advice is to just call them people and stop bringing race into it.

thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:54 AM

They are just like everyone else in the world, no two are the same personality wise. The best way to get an honest perspective is to actaully get to know them. Talk to them. Their brain works just the same as yours does. 

MalakbelLacuna
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:54 AM
hmm
I will go out on a limb and say when I am sitting in a parking lot in my car and ANY man walks by, I make sure my doors are locked.
younger guys in trashy clothing- regardless of race make me extremely uncomfortable
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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:55 AM

 Creepy people make me uncomfortable. But creepy people come in all sizes, gender...etc

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:57 AM

I've had more uncomfortable feelings being around someone I KNOW for a FACT is a registered sex offender than just some random black person walking down the street!! I have a few black friends, and they are the nicest, sweetest ppl out there!! Race has nothing to do with 'how' someone makes me feel--but that is me! Everyone is different I guess.

lapcounter
by Queen Mom on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:57 AM
1 mom liked this
LOL great reply.

Quoting UxorQuodMatris.:

Dummies make me uncomfortable. I often wonder how some people have lived so long.
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