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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"It's not mine" (long)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 120 Replies

DH is in the AF stationed in Germany. I was there visiting for three months while we tried to get Command Sponsorship so I could live there. It was denyed and we were trying to figure out what to do when everything went to hell.

He was on Facebook talking to someone when I came over to hug him. He FREAKED out and closed the window. I was really surprised since he'd never cared about me looking at his facebook before. I ignored it and went back to my side of the room (he lives in a dorm). A little while later I snuck over to see what he was saying that I wasn't allowed to see. Turns out, he was planning on hooking up with her the next day during lunch...

I was PISSED. He told me he had to work through lunch. He'd told me that a few times and I asked him how many of those times he'd actually hooked up with a girl. He said he hadn't yet because it hadn't worked out, but it wasn't my buisness that he could do whatever he wanted. I was soo shocked. I told him he could NOT do whatever he wanted since he was MARRIED! HE pushed for use to get married... he pushed for it for 1&1/2 years before I married him in a court room after his dad died. (4months before all this happened).

He told me if I wanted to be like that I could leave. He's the man he can do whatever blah blah. I had no where to go. He told me he didn't care, I could either apologize and shut my mouth or leave. I told him I wasn't doing either. He put my suitcase out of his room and picked me up and put me out of his room and shut the door, busting my lip in the process.

I went down to our friend's room. I'd be staying with him during the day while DH was at work since I couldn't stay in DH's room. I would just sit on the lazy-boy and play on my computer while our friend slept or got ready for work. DH was the one that sent me down there. 

That night since I was angry, I slept with our friend. It was stupid and I never told DH. We made up and have seemed fine though I'm sure he's still cheating on me. He is also about to get kicked out of the AF.

Well, that was 7 weeks ago... I came home shortly after and just found out I am pregnant. I told DH and he said "It's not mine" and told me I was a whore and he knew I'd been putting out to the whole dorm. 

I did NOT slept with the whole dorm. I have NO idea where he got that idea since I never left the room without him unless I was in our friend's room. 

I am so beyond angry. I called a lawyer but he said I can't get a divorce until AFTER the baby is born because no Judge will sign a divorce order while the wife is pregnant to protect the rights of the father. UGH.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
casah4
by Gold Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:34 PM

 That's quite a predicament you're in.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I never understand how a woman combats cheating by doing it herself.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:37 PM

My mom has told me she will help me take care of the baby if I need to. 

I really just want to get rid of DH at this point. I am so angry with him.


Quoting casah4:

 That's quite a predicament you're in.



LucyMom08
by BS Intolerant on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:37 PM

 First of all, he needs a giant punch in the wiener...like yesterday...

Second of all, I'm very sorry...and you definitely need to lawyer up, since he's pulling the whole 'it's not mine' thing...

Third, and I'm just playing devil's advocate here, do you think this behaviour change is related to his father dying? He could be having major issues from it, and it's manifesting in this way...

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:37 PM

Because I was angry and not thinking straight. It was stupid.


Quoting Anonymous:

I never understand how a woman combats cheating by doing it herself.



babygirl_1012
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:39 PM

I'm sure you can get a divorce, he does not want your child, so you can cut him completely out your life, or get him involved, but the way he is, I would not want him in my child's life.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:40 PM

They are most definitely daddy issues. His father beat him for years. He stopped when DH and I started dating Senior Year. His father finally started getting help last year and had told me and DH's mom to tell DH he was proud of him for joining the AF and marrying me. DH refused to talk to him and is now dealing with that.

However he won't see a therapist or anything. He just insists that he is fine and I am a bitch.


Quoting LucyMom08:

 First of all, he needs a giant punch in the wiener...like yesterday...

Second of all, I'm very sorry...and you definitely need to lawyer up, since he's pulling the whole 'it's not mine' thing...

Third, and I'm just playing devil's advocate here, do you think this behaviour change is related to his father dying? He could be having major issues from it, and it's manifesting in this way...



Oostera
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:40 PM

Could it be the friend's baby? Then it wouldn't be your DH's right, so you could get a divorce, right?

LucyMom08
by BS Intolerant on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:41 PM

 In that case, as much as it may suck now, I'd cut ties and get out...you don't want to raise your child in that environment...

Quoting Anonymous:

They are most definitely daddy issues. His father beat him for years. He stopped when DH and I started dating Senior Year. His father finally started getting help last year and had told me and DH's mom to tell DH he was proud of him for joining the AF and marrying me. DH refused to talk to him and is now dealing with that.

However he won't see a therapist or anything. He just insists that he is fine and I am a bitch.

 

Quoting LucyMom08:

 First of all, he needs a giant punch in the wiener...like yesterday...

Second of all, I'm very sorry...and you definitely need to lawyer up, since he's pulling the whole 'it's not mine' thing...

Third, and I'm just playing devil's advocate here, do you think this behaviour change is related to his father dying? He could be having major issues from it, and it's manifesting in this way...

 

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:41 PM

I've talked to three different lawyers. They all said the same thing. I have to wait until the baby is born so the judge with sign the divorce. 


Quoting babygirl_1012:

I'm sure you can get a divorce, he does not want your child, so you can cut him completely out your life, or get him involved, but the way he is, I would not want him in my child's life.



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