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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It keeps me up at night.

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A lot of fucking anger, and a lot of hurt and some regret.


All of them on deep levels that I really need to deal with in time but right now I have so much HATE in my heart that I can't let go of. It eats at me and I really don't know how to let go. 90% of it is directed at one person. He's ruined me in so many ways.


So here I am. Another sleepless freaking night. I have everything that SHOULD make me happy. But I'm so fucking angry.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:12 AM
Replies (791-800):
horseap
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:16 AM

 Are your LOs in school? What about when they brush their teeth for bed?  Its something that happens every night before bed time.  Remind them to get to scrubbin and its a reminder to you to take care of yourself too!  =)  ***HUGS*** DH had a hard time remembering to take his meds and it wasnt until he found his pattern and what he did everyday to remind himself to take them that he got on track.

Quoting Ninjascreenname:

I do. And it's my freaking antidepressant. I SHOULD remember to take it- the whole no energy thing should be a damn constant reminder, but I still don't take it. It's in the freaking van, in my purse, safe in its own little bottle.



Quoting banana-bear:

:o(



You SO do not suck at life! Try setting an alarm for the meds.




Quoting Ninjascreenname:

I'm up because I suck at life and can't remember to take my medication. :(

 



Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
touchingstars
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:18 AM
Therapy
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
happy41ce
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:18 AM

sigh. you bring the negative comments on yourself. you know how these idiots react to you...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 115 on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:23 AM
This story sounds just like the story of the woman who claimed Tupac raped her.

Quoting 504bbymami:

I don't have a problem talking about it..





It was when I was 16. My birthday weekend actually. I went to a house party. He gave me lots of alcohol, weed and some pills that idk what they were. Pretty much I got REALLY fucked up. That was probably the drunkest/highest I've ever gotten in my life. Then he asked me if I wanted to go upstairs with him and I said yes. So he took me upstairs - practically carried me because I was like on the verge of passing out. He brought me into a room and there was like 8 other guys in there. I got nervous and started asking questions and he just locked the door and took me over to the bed and was kissing on me and just telling me everything would be ok. Etc. told me not to worry about them. Then he talked me out of my clothes by saying he wanted me to prove to him how much I really liked him... I was way too drunk to undress myself so he did it and told his buddy to come help him. I kinda freaked out at that point and told them no no no I'm not about to do anything with anyone else but him. He told a couple guys to leave but 5 or 6 stayed. I tried to get up and leave but he gently yet FIRMLY pulled me back to the bed. I got really scared, almost to the point of tears but he was just whispering to me "I won't let them hurt you" and "it's ok it's just between us" and things like that. I was very scared because I already said I didn't want to but they were not giving up easily and I knew I couldn't fight them all off and I knew even if I screamed no one would hear me because the music downstairs was really loud and I really did just want him to like me so I just shut up and let them do what they wanted




Quoting Anonymous:

Will you explain that experience off it isn't too painful for you? I never heard it from you, just other people mentioning it.






Quoting 504bbymami:

Yea that's the same person








Quoting Anonymous:

What did he force you to do? Is this the guy that had you gang raped? Am I thinking of the right person?










Quoting 504bbymami:

Except for the fact that none of you have any idea what he has or has not forced me to do.












Quoting Anonymous:

Well said














Quoting Workoutmom2025:

Wow, you are stupid. YES, it does all fall on you. YOU made the decision to mess with him. He wasn't standing there with a gun to your head forcing you to cheat. Your life sucks right now because of YOU. He is not obligated to keep vows you made to your husband, he is not obligated to put your family and children first, YOU are obligated to do that, and you didn't because you were too busy messing with a man who didn't give a crap about you, but saw you were easy and obsessed with him. You created your problems. Period.















Quoting 504bbymami:








Anonymous
by Anonymous 116 on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:25 AM
I thought you said he didn't rape you? Why so much hate if he hasn't done anything?
504bbymami
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:27 AM
I never heard about that


Quoting Anonymous:

This story sounds just like the story of the woman who claimed Tupac raped her.



Quoting 504bbymami:

I don't have a problem talking about it..








It was when I was 16. My birthday weekend actually. I went to a house party. He gave me lots of alcohol, weed and some pills that idk what they were. Pretty much I got REALLY fucked up. That was probably the drunkest/highest I've ever gotten in my life. Then he asked me if I wanted to go upstairs with him and I said yes. So he took me upstairs - practically carried me because I was like on the verge of passing out. He brought me into a room and there was like 8 other guys in there. I got nervous and started asking questions and he just locked the door and took me over to the bed and was kissing on me and just telling me everything would be ok. Etc. told me not to worry about them. Then he talked me out of my clothes by saying he wanted me to prove to him how much I really liked him... I was way too drunk to undress myself so he did it and told his buddy to come help him. I kinda freaked out at that point and told them no no no I'm not about to do anything with anyone else but him. He told a couple guys to leave but 5 or 6 stayed. I tried to get up and leave but he gently yet FIRMLY pulled me back to the bed. I got really scared, almost to the point of tears but he was just whispering to me "I won't let them hurt you" and "it's ok it's just between us" and things like that. I was very scared because I already said I didn't want to but they were not giving up easily and I knew I couldn't fight them all off and I knew even if I screamed no one would hear me because the music downstairs was really loud and I really did just want him to like me so I just shut up and let them do what they wanted






Quoting Anonymous:

Will you explain that experience off it isn't too painful for you? I never heard it from you, just other people mentioning it.








Quoting 504bbymami:

Yea that's the same person










Quoting Anonymous:

What did he force you to do? Is this the guy that had you gang raped? Am I thinking of the right person?












Quoting 504bbymami:

Except for the fact that none of you have any idea what he has or has not forced me to do.














Quoting Anonymous:

Well said
















Quoting Workoutmom2025:

Wow, you are stupid. YES, it does all fall on you. YOU made the decision to mess with him. He wasn't standing there with a gun to your head forcing you to cheat. Your life sucks right now because of YOU. He is not obligated to keep vows you made to your husband, he is not obligated to put your family and children first, YOU are obligated to do that, and you didn't because you were too busy messing with a man who didn't give a crap about you, but saw you were easy and obsessed with him. You created your problems. Period.

















Quoting 504bbymami:









Posted on CafeMom Mobile
504bbymami
by Sapphire Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:27 AM
Rape is too strong a word. I wouldn't call it that.


Quoting Anonymous:

I thought you said he didn't rape you? Why so much hate if he hasn't done anything?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
.Diddles.
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Buddha

Anonymous
by Anonymous 115 on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:29 AM
Four days later, on November 18th, she returned to his hotel suite. There, she found Tupac, Man Man, Agnant, and an unidentified friend of Agnant's. They all watched television in the living room, and then she and Tupac went into the bedroom together. What ensued is disputed; Jackson claims that she was forced to perform oral sex on Tupac while Agnant partly undressed her and grabbed her from behind, and that they then made her perform oral sex on Agnant's friend while Tupac held her. (Man Man, she acknowledged, did not touch her.) Tupac claimed that he left the room when the other men entered and did not witness whatever happened. In any case, Jackson testified that she left the suite in tears and that Agnant told her to calm down, saying that he "would hate to see what happened to Mike [Tyson] happen to Tupac": that is, a woman charging him with sexual assault, which is what Jackson promptly did. She summoned the hotel's security officers, who called the police. Tupac, Man Man, and Agnant were arrested. (Agnant's friend left.)


That's just a small part of it... Idk if you want to read the full thing.

Quoting 504bbymami:

I never heard about that




Quoting Anonymous:

This story sounds just like the story of the woman who claimed Tupac raped her.





Quoting 504bbymami:

I don't have a problem talking about it..











It was when I was 16. My birthday weekend actually. I went to a house party. He gave me lots of alcohol, weed and some pills that idk what they were. Pretty much I got REALLY fucked up. That was probably the drunkest/highest I've ever gotten in my life. Then he asked me if I wanted to go upstairs with him and I said yes. So he took me upstairs - practically carried me because I was like on the verge of passing out. He brought me into a room and there was like 8 other guys in there. I got nervous and started asking questions and he just locked the door and took me over to the bed and was kissing on me and just telling me everything would be ok. Etc. told me not to worry about them. Then he talked me out of my clothes by saying he wanted me to prove to him how much I really liked him... I was way too drunk to undress myself so he did it and told his buddy to come help him. I kinda freaked out at that point and told them no no no I'm not about to do anything with anyone else but him. He told a couple guys to leave but 5 or 6 stayed. I tried to get up and leave but he gently yet FIRMLY pulled me back to the bed. I got really scared, almost to the point of tears but he was just whispering to me "I won't let them hurt you" and "it's ok it's just between us" and things like that. I was very scared because I already said I didn't want to but they were not giving up easily and I knew I couldn't fight them all off and I knew even if I screamed no one would hear me because the music downstairs was really loud and I really did just want him to like me so I just shut up and let them do what they wanted








Quoting Anonymous:

Will you explain that experience off it isn't too painful for you? I never heard it from you, just other people mentioning it.










Quoting 504bbymami:

Yea that's the same person












Quoting Anonymous:

What did he force you to do? Is this the guy that had you gang raped? Am I thinking of the right person?














Quoting 504bbymami:

Except for the fact that none of you have any idea what he has or has not forced me to do.
















Quoting Anonymous:

Well said


















Quoting Workoutmom2025:

Wow, you are stupid. YES, it does all fall on you. YOU made the decision to mess with him. He wasn't standing there with a gun to your head forcing you to cheat. Your life sucks right now because of YOU. He is not obligated to keep vows you made to your husband, he is not obligated to put your family and children first, YOU are obligated to do that, and you didn't because you were too busy messing with a man who didn't give a crap about you, but saw you were easy and obsessed with him. You created your problems. Period.



















Quoting 504bbymami:









RMB2011
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:29 AM

 Is "Sexual Assault" better for you?

Quoting 504bbymami:

Rape is too strong a word. I wouldn't call it that.


Quoting Anonymous:

I thought you said he didn't rape you? Why so much hate if he hasn't done anything?

 

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