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my son hurt my feelings :(

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:54 AM
  • 16 Replies

So, what do you say to your kids when they hurt your feelings?

Yesterday just before his dad picked him up from me, I was looking through my 8 yr old son's school work and found a paper that asked him to list his family members. He listed his dad's family. He left me out completely. This isn't the first time but for some reason this time it really hit me hard. I didn't say anything to him but I cried for a good 30 minutes. I know it's probably just hormones but it still hurts 9 hours later. Should I say something to him or just let it go?

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:54 AM
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Shelhead
by Michelle on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:58 AM

If its something you were supposed to see I'd ask him where's mommy at. Does his Dad have primary custody? Perhaps the reacher said draw a picture of everyone that lives in your house and he didn't know how to depict you living elsewhere?

So.Ill.Mama
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:13 AM
Something like that i would sit and talk with them. Are you the custodial parent? If my kids say something that's not nice or whatever, I let them know.
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12345abcde54321
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:19 AM
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i would let it go. don't take it so personally. since you're obviously not together, he probably felt weird including y'all in a picture together and just happened to draw that side of the family this time. i'm sure he loves you lots. divorce and stuff is really confusing for a kid and i think if you tell him it hurt you it will just make him feel guilty. kids have enough guilt in a divorce.

my parents were divorced, so that's where my perspective comes from.

angelachristine
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:31 AM

Wow I would wonder why I was left out too. I think i'd ask (in a nice way and don't let him know you are hurt) and see what he says.

It's Cassandra Cat! 

askmommy
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:34 AM
Talk to him!
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atyou
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:34 AM
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Let it go.


That's a hell of a lot of pressure to put on an 8 year old.
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ispeektrooth
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:18 AM
He's 8. I doubt he did it on purpose. Where was he when he did his homework? I'm guessing at his dad's house because it would've been done differently if he had been at yours, right? It doesn't matter who's the custodial/residential parent. This happens when parents get divorced. Don't read so much into it, especially if you're hormonal. Let it go.
shudderette
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:25 PM

We share custody 50/50. They see both of us for part of every day except Thurs(my house all day) and Sun (his house all day). 

I'm not sure what the assignment was because I just took a quick look at it. I just saw that it said to list his family and he only listed his dad, his girlfriend, their baby (his half sister), her 2 kids (his almost step siblings), and his biological brother. No mention of me or my husband (his stepdad). I work so hard to make us feel like a family. I even invited all that family over for easter with my brother's family and my sister's family. 

I don't think i'm going to mention it to him. It really shouldn't be that big of a deal. It is. At least it is to me. It makes me feel like shit that he doesn't consider us a family. But that's not his problem, that's mine.

Quoting Shelhead:

If its something you were supposed to see I'd ask him where's mommy at. Does his Dad have primary custody? Perhaps the reacher said draw a picture of everyone that lives in your house and he didn't know how to depict you living elsewhere?



12345abcde54321
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:45 PM
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i'm sure he considers you his family and loves you all very much. stop being so sensitive and self-centered.

Quoting shudderette:

We share custody 50/50. They see both of us for part of every day except Thurs(my house all day) and Sun (his house all day). 

I'm not sure what the assignment was because I just took a quick look at it. I just saw that it said to list his family and he only listed his dad, his girlfriend, their baby (his half sister), her 2 kids (his almost step siblings), and his biological brother. No mention of me or my husband (his stepdad). I work so hard to make us feel like a family. I even invited all that family over for easter with my brother's family and my sister's family. 

I don't think i'm going to mention it to him. It really shouldn't be that big of a deal. It is. At least it is to me. It makes me feel like shit that he doesn't consider us a family. But that's not his problem, that's mine.

Quoting Shelhead:

If its something you were supposed to see I'd ask him where's mommy at. Does his Dad have primary custody? Perhaps the reacher said draw a picture of everyone that lives in your house and he didn't know how to depict you living elsewhere?




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:47 PM

That must be tough. I don't think alot of people contemplate what can happen in divorced or seperated homes. Whatever the reason for the split is.

I hope your son starts liking you again.


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