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Your baby just died hours ago and you're on FB?

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So yeah, I have a guy I'm friends with on FB who had this happen to him.

His wife went into labor at 29 weeks. Baby boy lived a full 24 hours before he passed on (not sure on the full story of complications he was born with).

Dad posted one picture of him, a status about how he shouldn't have to bury his son, and has been on since sharing funny pictures and statuses and just "liking" random things.

I get all people grieve differently, but it just doesn't seem like he's grieving at all.


So the question, if this was you, would YOUR husband be on FB sharing pictures and statuses, or would he be there supporting and comforting you as you grieve together?

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Replies (471-480):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 65 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Everyone saying you wouldn't do it or your husband wouldn't do it. You cannot say that. If you haven't lived it you can't say what you would do!!

honeyrder
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:31 PM

My soon to be ex, too. Anything for attention. Don't ask him to do the same for his kids that are here, though.

Quoting BeAmour:

 I'm pretty sure my xh probably would.

He's a narcassist so I'm willing to bet, yes.


IBNeaters
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:33 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh--this is exactly what I was going to say!  I had like 20 ppl in the hospital room the DAY my son was born because he was letting everyone know to come and see him!  He didn't just push a 9 1/2 pound baby out of his body!


Quoting BeAmour:

 I'm pretty sure my xh probably would.

He's a narcassist so I'm willing to bet, yes.



Sweet_Carol_126
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:36 PM

Different people grieve different ways.  Some block it out so they don't have to think about it so much. 

Venae
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:41 PM

You know this guy from FB - you don't really know him.  And why are you "friends" w/another woman's husband anyway?

Derpy
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:02 PM
Some people keep their mind busy with other things until they are ready to grieve.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
TexaBamaBaby
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:14 PM
When I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, DH spent many nights up till nearly dawn watching movies and playing Wii because he couldn't sleep. If he tried to, the fear and anxiety of losing me and being left to raise our 4 kids alone kept him from it. The movies and games kept his mind from going insane. Maybe that's what this poor dad is doing--dulling that ragged and raw pain until his mind can handle the grief.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jeca777
by Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:14 PM

hes probably just doing it to get his mind off of things. hasnt sunk in. everyone is different. now is not the time to judge him. 

brittanyjenean
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:17 PM
After my first miscarriage I did that. Anything and everything felt better than truly grieving.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 94 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:19 PM

What is he supposed to do?  It sounds to me that you don't really get that people grieve differently.  I mean are people supposed to sit at home and cry all day when they grieve or should they have some simple things that are able to bring them a smile (i.e., facebook).  I would not expect my husband to necessarily help me grieve.  We've been through one traumatic death (my brother died from leukemia 20 days after we got married).  Each person has to have their own way to come to grips with the loss.  There is no one size fits all.  I would expect my husband to be there if I needed him, but at the same time I wouldn't force him to be in the same place as I am because that's not fair.  He would be suffering a loss just as I am. 

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