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Your baby just died hours ago and you're on FB?

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So yeah, I have a guy I'm friends with on FB who had this happen to him.

His wife went into labor at 29 weeks. Baby boy lived a full 24 hours before he passed on (not sure on the full story of complications he was born with).

Dad posted one picture of him, a status about how he shouldn't have to bury his son, and has been on since sharing funny pictures and statuses and just "liking" random things.

I get all people grieve differently, but it just doesn't seem like he's grieving at all.

So the question, if this was you, would YOUR husband be on FB sharing pictures and statuses, or would he be there supporting and comforting you as you grieve together?

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Replies (491-500):
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:42 PM

mine would be by my side comforting me

by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:50 PM

I agree that some people process things a little later as well as that most men are not attached to the "baby" during pregnancy.  It's not like the baby was alive and out of the womb and he bonded with him.   I wouldn't judege what he is going through.   

by Anonymous 97 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:50 PM
Because some tragic things isolate you ( i.e. chemo) and FB keeps you connected with the outside world like the phone and TV do. Just a way some people cope. It's healthier IMO than getting hammered.

Quoting Anonymous:

My husband doesn't use FB. I've honestly never understood the people who while going through something tragic are still able to post constantly on FB. 

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:02 AM

He'd be with me and helping me. We'd do it together. He doesn't ever post on FB though so... I wouldn't really think to worry about that.

by Gold Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:06 AM
Maybe he just needs an escape, something to feel "normal" when everything in his life is anything BUT normal at the moment. Be careful not to judge because everyone grieves differently.
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:14 AM
Maybe its his way of escaping the pain for a little while everyone grieves in own way where Rowe to judge
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:15 AM
1 mom liked this

That's considered judging.

Just because hes not grieving how you want him to or how you think he should dont mean hes not..

Youre not in his shoes or skin so you don't know what hes going through..

Quoting KanPsMommy:

A lot of ya'll are quick to judge. I'm not judging him. My OPINION is that it doesn't seem like he's grieving at all

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:25 AM
Im trying to do my best my due date is comeing up may 17 an that will be hard i also should be celebrating my first babys 3rd b~day sadly that baby also went to heaven so the 10th & 17th of May will be very hard

Quoting emerald.forest:

I can't imagine what you are going through. I hope you are doing as well as you can.

Quoting Mommytoaangel:

Thank u yes they were identical twins an it sucked big time

Quoting emerald.forest:

I'm so sorry momma.

Quoting Mommytoaangel:

Supporting me our sons passed on dec 05 2012 he posted our twin boys were born to early an they past that was it no doing what this guy did

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by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:37 AM

dh would be by my side. we would grieve together. If he still had to go to work, I'm sure he would be on fb, because he gets very bored at work and needs a way to stay awake at night.

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:37 AM

Some people just need a distraction. Everyone has different ways of greiving. Some try to find other things to focus on and it sounds like that is what he is doing. Regardless, you said he is a friend on fb, so it sounds like you have never met him in person. I'm assuming that if you knew this guy personally, you would know whether or not it is normal for him. If you haven't met him in person, why are you so worried about what he is doing? It is his situation, let him handle it the way he feels necessary.

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