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Parent transference toward a YOUNGER therapist?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
Is that at all common? My T is 6 years younger than I, and at last night's session he was giving off a natural scent that was unmistakably male, you know? At first, because we were focusing on my childhood sexual abuse, I was nervous there was an icky reason I was so conscious of his natural scent. But later, I realized that his natural scent reminded me of my late grandfather. My grandfather was my first farther figure and a wonderful man. I trusted him like I have never trusted any other man. When I realized that, I was comforted.

Do you think I should mention this to him, or would it offend him or make me seem too sick to do anything about? I'm new to therapy and very unsure of myself.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Bump because I'm really unsure of myself and could use some input. :(
thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:21 AM

It is completely normal. I think you should tell him. I wouldnt say this qualifies as transference. He will not be offended and if it makes him uncomfortable or either of you feel as though it is hindering your sessions, he will refer you to a collegue

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Thanks. Do you think such a disclosure would be likely to make a therapist uncomfortable?


Quoting thenameshailie:

It is completely normal. I think you should tell him. I wouldnt say this qualifies as transference. He will not be offended and if it makes him uncomfortable or either of you feel as though it is hindering your sessions, he will refer you to a collegue


Jade_Lufercus
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:26 AM

Therapist generally are someone you can tell anything to. So I'd let him know. 

tinkerbelle18
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:28 AM

 I would because I tell my therapist everything, but then, I've been going to her for almost 10 years. I think it really depends on your comfort level with them. They're professionals and have been train to handle all kinds of situations.

thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:30 AM

No, it really shouldnt. He should be highly trained to deal with these things. Let him be the judge of it, if he is ethical, he will know if a line has been crossed and he will end the sessions. It is a lot more common than you know.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. Do you think such a disclosure would be likely to make a therapist uncomfortable?


Quoting thenameshailie:

It is completely normal. I think you should tell him. I wouldnt say this qualifies as transference. He will not be offended and if it makes him uncomfortable or either of you feel as though it is hindering your sessions, he will refer you to a collegue



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:37 AM
Thanks mamas. I'm only a couple sessions in and already I'm overcome by lots of emotions. I'm having a hard time keeping them at bay during my workday. :(
Lalalie
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:49 AM

Tell him.

Your therapist should be open to hear about anything. That is his job.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:08 AM
Crossing a line is a big fear of mine. :(


Quoting thenameshailie:

No, it really shouldnt. He should be highly trained to deal with these things. Let him be the judge of it, if he is ethical, he will know if a line has been crossed and he will end the sessions. It is a lot more common than you know.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. Do you think such a disclosure would be likely to make a therapist uncomfortable?





Quoting thenameshailie:

It is completely normal. I think you should tell him. I wouldnt say this qualifies as transference. He will not be offended and if it makes him uncomfortable or either of you feel as though it is hindering your sessions, he will refer you to a collegue





thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:21 AM

His scent reminds you of your grand father and you find that comfoting, how is that crossing the line? Do not try to get him to talk about his personal life, do not try to have inapproriate disscussions, do not make advancements towads him. And you will be fine. If you start to fantasize about him, find another counsellor. It really is quite normal and he will not make you feel shameful about it, just talk to him.

Quoting Anonymous:

Crossing a line is a big fear of mine. :(


Quoting thenameshailie:

No, it really shouldnt. He should be highly trained to deal with these things. Let him be the judge of it, if he is ethical, he will know if a line has been crossed and he will end the sessions. It is a lot more common than you know.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. Do you think such a disclosure would be likely to make a therapist uncomfortable?





Quoting thenameshailie:

It is completely normal. I think you should tell him. I wouldnt say this qualifies as transference. He will not be offended and if it makes him uncomfortable or either of you feel as though it is hindering your sessions, he will refer you to a collegue






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