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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I keep my daughter from my SO's family

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have gone over this for the past 7 months in my mind,


and I have settled with the following points

1. Our daughter is to NEVER be alone with his family (as of right now without ME present because he is still learning how to stick up for himself)

2. Until the problems are addressed our daughter and I will not be attending any holidays or picnics ect (I only say this because they invited us to camping for Memorial Day) , as for Holidays we travel as a family, last year he went to his moms for xmas alone.

3. I will say WHATEVER is on my mind if they are over or around. 

He agrees with me.

(p.s. this is the first time I've ever put it in list form, but this is basically it)


WHY you ask?


They have manipulated him his whole life for personal gain, NEVER treated him as an individual, used him, control, didnt pay much attention or take his life seriously, ( did provide a fair ammount of structure though, did good in school, saved money, did chores ect). Openly disrespect me, our parenting decisions, manipulated him into (guilted) lying to me to cover their asses, speak very rudely to me, have left my daughter in a dirty diaper to try and make ME look bad while she had my daughter ( I was upstairs ) 



I will ignore any rediculous views on this post but I welcome honesty--- Am I choosing realistic boundaries?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:08 PM
Nooooo! Lol good luck with that one ha ha:)


Quoting Anonymous:

I am glad you agree...I really thought I would have a lot of bashing LOL..


Thanks for sharing with me...best part is his grandma lives in this community, she got us this condo (showed us the ad, we rent) and his mom just moved to the next street over....YAY NOT

Quoting Anonymous:

You're doing what's best for your child and we should never feel guilty for that, but its hard bot to. I can understand buying our way into our family thing too. My brother and our kids are super close, but he's a struggling musician and rarely has money so my brother-in-law, who never sees them, buys them ridiculous things like indoor tents (we live in a condo!) and air hockey tables! (They're 4 and 2!) so I know how you feel. It sucks because you want your hubby to be happy and have a good family, but we gotta do the best with what we got. :)





Quoting Anonymous:

awe that is sad :/ Im glad he has you! (you seem normal, caring ect) I understand the guilt, I feel it too & i think thats why im posting & needing confidence about keeping our baby away! they buy her stuff all the time (none of which we NEED and I get pissed because I wont let them buy their way into our family! 


I am thankful too though...this is my struggle

Quoting Anonymous:

I can completely relate! My husband doesn't have much family. Just a shitty mom and bro. I haven't spoken to them for 2 years. Your husband is lucky he got some good values from his fam. My MIL did drugs while pregnant and has admitted to him that she didnt want him!! let him live with his aunt and uncle for about 5 years, (which is a long time for a kid!) all to take him back and give him to a foster home! He tried to reconnect with her after we had our first child, but found out she is doing drugs. We cut her off all together. Sorry for the ramble lol, but I know it's like to have a one sided family. Sometimes I feel guilty about being relieved that we don't gave to deal with her.






Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:15 PM
If its not a healthy situation for your child then I completely agree. I don't allow my children any contact with my fathers side of the family because his sister(my aunt) molested me when I was 6/7 years old. She threatened me so I didn't tell anyone until this past year, I'm 31, but when pregnant with my DD I knew I couldn't even let her see a picture. Unfortunately she lives with my Grandma and great aunt so I had to cut them out too, it breaks my heart but my kids safety is more important. We also don't talk to many members of dhs family because they are users and toxic and we don't want our kids influenced by them.
robeandslippers
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:18 PM

Omg! Someone who is going through what I am going through! I will not let my dd around my dhs family! So many reasons. You are doing what is right for your child!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 7:56 AM

jeez....I am very sorry to hear that happened to you...thank you for sharing...most of the time I think I am doing whats best, SO knows and agrees too but is still heavily influenced by them, its a daily struggle. 


thanks again !

Quoting Anonymous:

If its not a healthy situation for your child then I completely agree. I don't allow my children any contact with my fathers side of the family because his sister(my aunt) molested me when I was 6/7 years old. She threatened me so I didn't tell anyone until this past year, I'm 31, but when pregnant with my DD I knew I couldn't even let her see a picture. Unfortunately she lives with my Grandma and great aunt so I had to cut them out too, it breaks my heart but my kids safety is more important. We also don't talk to many members of dhs family because they are users and toxic and we don't want our kids influenced by them.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 7:58 AM

Awesome,Im just as relieved that other Moms are taking the same actions and sorry youre going through it too...if you will share, how does your DH handle it with his family?


Thanks!

Quoting robeandslippers:

Omg! Someone who is going through what I am going through! I will not let my dd around my dhs family! So many reasons. You are doing what is right for your child!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:02 AM
So what have they do to your dd?

Sounds like it is a case of golden vagina syndrome. Aka I'm the mom and I am the dictator.

Women like you, unless there are good reasons to do it and sorry those are not great, disgust me. I hope one day you have a son whose wife decides you are not worthy of her time. Karma is a fucking bitch.
itsm3
by Platinum Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:09 AM

remember:  you are involved with him therefore you are involved with is family. you can't separate the two and you are not letting your child get to know them if ever you two marry.  

i could never be with someone whose family i didn't get along with...you marry the person, you marry the family.

i get that there's family drama but you don't have to be a part of it... it will always come with him and therefore always be part of your life and your child's life.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:12 AM

Yep, your boundaries are totally fine and I'd do the same. They're lucky you'll take time out of your schedule for them to visit with DD - I don't even know if I'd go that far.

I don't like being disrespected, and I don't like liars - and they sound like a bunch of them...

starlight91
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:13 AM

Can understand that, my dh refuses to have anything to do with his family, he says "he will not let his F**cked up family hurt me or his daughters."

EmmaGlenn20
by Platinum Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:15 AM
Normally I would not agree with keeping children from grandparents but if they are honestly stressful, manipulative and you feel they will negatively affect your children then yes that's fair. I have been having some major MIL issues for the first time since our marriage. She encourages him to keep things from me, manipulates him, and verbally abuses me in front of him along with openly disrespecting our marriage. I don't want my kids to have to be around that. FIL knows he's welcome always, though.
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