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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I keep my daughter from my SO's family

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have gone over this for the past 7 months in my mind,


and I have settled with the following points

1. Our daughter is to NEVER be alone with his family (as of right now without ME present because he is still learning how to stick up for himself)

2. Until the problems are addressed our daughter and I will not be attending any holidays or picnics ect (I only say this because they invited us to camping for Memorial Day) , as for Holidays we travel as a family, last year he went to his moms for xmas alone.

3. I will say WHATEVER is on my mind if they are over or around. 

He agrees with me.

(p.s. this is the first time I've ever put it in list form, but this is basically it)


WHY you ask?


They have manipulated him his whole life for personal gain, NEVER treated him as an individual, used him, control, didnt pay much attention or take his life seriously, ( did provide a fair ammount of structure though, did good in school, saved money, did chores ect). Openly disrespect me, our parenting decisions, manipulated him into (guilted) lying to me to cover their asses, speak very rudely to me, have left my daughter in a dirty diaper to try and make ME look bad while she had my daughter ( I was upstairs ) 



I will ignore any rediculous views on this post but I welcome honesty--- Am I choosing realistic boundaries?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Replies (41-50):
KrissyKC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 9:45 AM

We have had to set boundaries with family, too.  

Some one in the family had my eldest when she was 9 overnight and they got tired of her, wanted to watch TV for a while without her... so they sent her away with an adult book (smut book about a gal that slept around because she was always a bridesmaid and never a bride)...

This is just a tiny example of why we had to set our boundaries.   There were plenty of others including her ridiculing our parenting choices, leaving my toddler beside a lake unattended when she took her and said she'd watch her while we unpacked, shoving my newborn in the face of her vicious dog after we told her NO...  yelling rudely back at my toddler during a dinner party with other people (why? because my baby was non-verbal yet and yelled loudly once the way babies do)...  leaning over top my 4 yr old in our own home and scolding her for dropping a piece of candy on my floor because they brought their puppy over and it got the piece of candy she dropped.  

Ontop of this, she plays favorites with my kids, and when it's pointed out to her, she makes a BIIIIG deal about sending enough "boy" things and if it's not enough and isn't "fair" then to tell her and she will buy more and send it, too!!  

My son, at 8, said.. "Mom you aren't allowed to play favorites.   Only grandma's are allowed to have favorites."    Broke my heart... poor thing.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:32 PM

BUMP!

thenameshailie
by Emerald Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:34 PM

If they dont treat your kid well, I dont see why they should get to see her.

AmaliaD
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:36 PM

good - protect the ones you love!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:39 PM

Ridiculous NOT Rediculous!!!

mommieof38829
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:42 PM
We cut my dh father n granny out. All those people do is beg for money or food. The old woman is traffling!!! Ugh I hate them both.. But we may be speaking to them soon as in suing the old woman.
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edelweiss23
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:51 PM
I pretty much cut off contact with my husbands mom.
He still has a relationship with her, but I never wish to speak to her again and I would prefer our son to never know she exists.

She has never liked me, tried to convince my husband that because she is Jehovah's Witness, I didn't need a blood transfusion during childbirth, didn't like the name we picked out for our son, threw a fit because she wanted him circ'ed, was mad I exclusively breastfed.

The last straw was, when my son was 8 weeks old, we flew him to FL to meet the rest of his family, everyone in the entire family made sure they were cigarette free for the day before we came over with him. We get there and she asks to hold him with a lit cigarette between her fingers, and then threw a bitch fit when I refused to let her hold him.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:15 AM

jeeez! yeah his mom was mas I EBF too! weird. I'm so happy I'm not alone

Quoting edelweiss23:

I pretty much cut off contact with my husbands mom.
He still has a relationship with her, but I never wish to speak to her again and I would prefer our son to never know she exists.

She has never liked me, tried to convince my husband that because she is Jehovah's Witness, I didn't need a blood transfusion during childbirth, didn't like the name we picked out for our son, threw a fit because she wanted him circ'ed, was mad I exclusively breastfed.

The last straw was, when my son was 8 weeks old, we flew him to FL to meet the rest of his family, everyone in the entire family made sure they were cigarette free for the day before we came over with him. We get there and she asks to hold him with a lit cigarette between her fingers, and then threw a bitch fit when I refused to let her hold him.


xomrs.chase
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:18 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm now keeping my son away from most of dh's family. Two of his brothers are alcoholic losers with no sense of respect or morals. Mil is a piece of work too... ugh! Dh agrees, and he will only let mil back into our lives on his terms. (Which basically includes sincere apologies and showing more of an interest in ds. She has done nothing and it's been 4mo)
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Starshine-bela
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:23 AM
I had to set stricter boundaries with my own parents to protect my boys, especially my older son. they never met my baby. some people are born to great parents, others not so lucky. I think your boundaries are smart, you need them, so does your hubby and baby.
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