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Why do some people think it is okay to comment on other peoples eating?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies

Saw another post that reminded me. I have always been thin. As a teen I weighed 105 -115. After two kids I weigh 118. I am 5'3. I am not a big eater but I eat. I am a bit slower than other people at eating. When I go to resturants I try not to eat too much appitizers or rolls so I can eat more of the meal when it comes. I grew up hearing comments about my weight all the time. "You need to eat more, your too thin." One time recently the company DH works for had a Christmas dinner and we all went to a local resturant. I only ate one roll and and a little of the appitizer. There were two people who felt like it was their duty to call out my eating habits, a guy DH worked with and his SM. Also I have social anxiety so being called out like this makes me feel even worse. I get angry but I don't say anything, just try to smile and be like hahaha, yeah you guys are funny. Anyway this one man who just happened to be extreamly overweight and DH's SM took it upon themselves to make comments on the fact that I wasn't eating a ton of food before the meal came. Remember I get too full if I eat a lot before the meal. They kept trying to get me to eat another roll or more of the appitizer. Very annoying. Then more recently for Easter dinner we were at FIL house and everyone but me and my kids had already gotten up and got seconds. DH's SM had to make a comment "You are still only on your first plate?" I just looked at her, didn't smile or anything and then continued eating. Seriously? Why? Why do people think it is okay to comment on peoples eating habits. If I was more bold and mean I would have commented to the overweight man about HIS weight and to the SM about how rude it is and that I don't want to gorge myself like a pig.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:28 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:36 AM

BUMP!

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this

My experience is that those people are usually insecure, themselves.  They feel like a pig or like they must be gorging themselves if there is one person not eating much.

Did you know studies show that if you are friends with people who gorge themselves, you'll start to gain weight?  And if you are friends with people who graze and eat small portions, you're more likely to lose weight?  You end up mirroring other's habits when you hang out.  So they see you eating at a pace you are comfortable with, and because they are insecure, they feel like they MUST either eat less or get you to eat more!

You are a reflection of what they feel they should be doing.  But you, yourself, aren't making a big deal out of it.  You'd NEVER think to say "Really?  You got the burger instead of a salad?"  It's all on THEM.

So do what you do.  Eat how you like.

LuLuThatsWho
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:40 AM

Your eating in moderation juxtaposed with their gluttony makes them feel uncomfortable.  The problem isn't yours.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:40 AM

Thank you for putting it into perception. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. Like I should be eating more and faster. I don't do things to please everyone else though.


Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

My experience is that those people are usually insecure, themselves.  They feel like a pig or like they must be gorging themselves if there is one person not eating much.

Did you know studies show that if you are friends with people who gorge themselves, you'll start to gain weight?  And if you are friends with people who graze and eat small portions, you're more likely to lose weight?  You end up mirroring other's habits when you hang out.  So they see you eating at a pace you are comfortable with, and because they are insecure, they feel like they MUST either eat less or get you to eat more!

You are a reflection of what they feel they should be doing.  But you, yourself, aren't making a big deal out of it.  You'd NEVER think to say "Really?  You got the burger instead of a salad?"  It's all on THEM.

So do what you do.  Eat how you like.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:42 AM

I am thinking next time to quietly say gluttony is a sin.

Leissaintexas
by Emerald Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:44 AM

I think it goes back to the old days when having more than enough food and being "bigger" was a sign of financial success. If you were too thin, they felt that you were going without and their pushing you to eat was just an expression of their concern. I realize that now its just a habit (a rude one, admittedly) but some people still believe they are just trying to help. I grew up thin, too, and g-mothers especially are bad about commenting on food and encouraging me to eat more. But yes, I agree it is incredibly insensitive and rude.

NorseGodessMom
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:45 AM

they are pissed couse you are hot! same goes for me my sister is the same as you (she is 30 looks 12) I am much bigger then her, but becouse i am her family i know she is a heathy eater and suppot to look like that. But people are stupid and will say stuff and even compare her to me! "you should have more curves like your sister" bla bla haha middle finger my sister is beutiful

Mrs.Bryant1201
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:47 AM

You are small, so you have a small stomach. Bigger people have bigger stomachs.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:50 AM

I am 31 but people tell me I look like I am in my early 20's  :) I am hippy though, my mom on the other hand is a stick. She is much smaller than me but that is because of her bad eating habits, she barely eats and smoke and drinks soda all the time.


Quoting NorseGodessMom:

they are pissed couse you are hot! same goes for me my sister is the same as you (she is 30 looks 12) I am much bigger then her, but becouse i am her family i know she is a heathy eater and suppot to look like that. But people are stupid and will say stuff and even compare her to me! "you should have more curves like your sister" bla bla haha middle finger my sister is beutiful



Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:55 AM


You are doing nothing wrong.  If they were more secure in who they are, they wouldn't be bothered.  Like me, for example.  I still carry baby weight in my "flap" from being stretched out while pregnant.  It makes me look heavier than I am.  But I dont' give a SHIT.  My friend can peck like a bird at a tiny side salad.  I know what my body and diet permit, and if I want a big sloppy chili burger, I'll have one.  I don't feel bad about it.  Maybe I had a light breakfast, or I budgeted the calories into my diet plan.  I don't care that my friend is picking at her food.  Maybe she had a big breakfast, or over indulged earlier.  She's comfortable in her skin, and I'm comfortable in mine, even the excess!  We know what our bodies need and what they can handle.  (Though I am getting a tummy tuck, since the loose skin caused a hernia.  *sigh)

But I do have friends who get upset.  And those friends are the ones who are NEVER happy with how they look.  "Oh, Sally, you need more!  Get chicken on that salad at least!"  "Oh, Kuba, don't you know a woman of your size really shouldn't eat a chili burger?"  And Sally and I both tell them to shut up or GTFO.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you for putting it into perception. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. Like I should be eating more and faster. I don't do things to please everyone else though.


Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

My experience is that those people are usually insecure, themselves.  They feel like a pig or like they must be gorging themselves if there is one person not eating much.

Did you know studies show that if you are friends with people who gorge themselves, you'll start to gain weight?  And if you are friends with people who graze and eat small portions, you're more likely to lose weight?  You end up mirroring other's habits when you hang out.  So they see you eating at a pace you are comfortable with, and because they are insecure, they feel like they MUST either eat less or get you to eat more!

You are a reflection of what they feel they should be doing.  But you, yourself, aren't making a big deal out of it.  You'd NEVER think to say "Really?  You got the burger instead of a salad?"  It's all on THEM.

So do what you do.  Eat how you like.





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