Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Child support issues.. Help!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 69 Replies

So here's my issue..

my ex once upon a time, took me to court.. Lost, got evow and a shared holidays.. And decided he wanted to start paying child support(she was 4, by the way..). 5 years later, he decides he's having some money issues and wants to cut the child support by more than half the original amount(that amount was determined by him and his attorney, I didn't argue, something was better than nothing). I find it ridiculous that he would even ask, considering he just came back from Florida(family vacation my daughter didn't attend), then idaho( another vacation she didn't attend), just renewed his family's Disney passes, a Vegas trip, and recently showed off his 3 day pack for coachella... The list can go on..

i don't want to be an asshole.. And tell him no, because we've gotten past all of our drama, and are finally in a place where we are all good friend.. But I feel like my daughter is being taken advantage of. It seems like he is cutting the one thing that he should consider last.

by the way, he is still living at home at his parents(rent free) house with his gf( who also works)and son.. Yet makes practically double our income..


anyway.. How do I tell him nicely, that I have no problem with cutting the child support down, but 75% of it, is just not cool... Especially when he has all of these perks that I feel could be cut from is budget easily first...

suuggestions? Advice?

Excuse the typos and bad grammar I'm mobile...

gotta pick up my kids.. Be back in in 20..

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 4:59 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:00 PM

Bump

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:01 PM
3 moms liked this
I wouldn't cut child support down at all. He is obligated to help pay for his child. If you don't need the extra money than open a savings account for her college or for when she turns a certain age and leave it at that.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
baquick
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:02 PM
2 moms liked this
You don't. That's up to the court. It's income based. For all you know, his gf paid for the majority of that stuff you listed. I'm sorry- but that's not up to you. Good luck.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:03 PM

Tell him that you need the money to help support the child. Figure out your budget and figure out how much you need him to pay to make it. Then go from there.

MaMa.Lu
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:04 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting baquick:

You don't. That's up to the court. It's income based. For all you know, his gf paid for the majority of that stuff you listed. I'm sorry- but that's not up to you. Good luck.



Pooobaihr
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:08 PM

Well, they will look at his income and see if there is a drastic difference before becoming OK with cutting it down. Since he is still able to do all of these other things, more than likely they wont cut it down.  The lady I had at court grilled my BD because he came dressed in Gucci, yet tried to say he had no money. (all of his stuff was brand new btw and when asked, he didn't confirm nor deny the fact that he had on brand new things but 'couldn't pay child support'.)  The only reason they lowered it was BECAUSE he had no job (on record).

Gabeys_Mommy
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:10 PM
Your nicer than I would be. It's one thing if hes honestly struggling but it doesn't sound that way. I'd tell him no to cutting it at all. If he doesnt like that, he can take his chances in court. It sounds like he is taking advantage & being super selfish.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:10 PM
Um. You do realize that CS is income based right? If his income changes by so much or has a life chAnging event (children, marriage, job change or loss etc) he qualifies for an eval of his CS amount. You literally have next to no say in his court ordered amount.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:18 PM
Do you know for a fact that HE paid for all that? Maybe his gf did. My exdf 's family paid for all kinds of nice things for him. His $30k truck, passes to six flags, concert tickets, they would take him on family vacations to Hawaii yearly, once to Jamaica, they paid for all sorts of shit for him. Even a nicer place to live bc he wanted it. Even though his income changed, his lifestyle didn't. His exw tried to use that against him- but couldn't bc he didn't pay for it- his family did. So his CS went down. It backfired on her bc she wanted more CS. But he still paid the previously court ordered amount bc he knew he should.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:21 PM
Let the court decide.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)