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I Was Too Afraid

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:08 PM
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I lived with a monster, everyone knew he did what he wanted when he wanted. To disagree with him was asking for violence. Only my brother was willing to take the violence on, and boy did he ever.
So the first day the monster came to my room, I was far to afraid to say no. I didn't fight, plead or run. I closed my eyes and prayed for it to stop. I never said no and I never fought. Not once.
My Mom saved us when I was 12 and all contact ceased with my monster.
I believed because I didn't fight, it was my fault. The guilt and disgust I felt for myself destroyed a lot of who I am.
Years of therapy and medication and bettering my situation I now know, it was not my fault. Even if I hadn't been a child, it would still have been rape.
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:08 PM
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