Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think dh's life just turned into a lifetime movie......

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I don't even know where to start. I really didn't think things like this happened in real life, well I mean I guess I knew they did just not to us or people we would know. So here's my best attempt at telling this story quickly with out it turning into a novel. Dh is really confused and nervous and we would appreciate any advice you might have.

One of dh's employee's (female) babysit's for their boss on occasion. She tells dh today that about a year ago, their boss told her that him and his wife have an open relationship and that he wanted to sleep with her, he promises her a promotion to be the head of her department, all sorts of crazy stuff. He even tried to seduce her one night with dinner, drinks and cigars. She declined and I guess the issue was dropped after that...not really sure of all the details after that point.

So now the position that the woman was "promised" is open and since dh is her direct boss she is asking him about. Dh tells her that he is not sure which direction they are going with the position yet, that it has just become an option and blah blah blah. Well that is when she tells dh the story about their boss. She tells dh that this made her very uncomfortable along with other things. So now dh doesn't know what to do. He should report? Or should he not? There are so many other factors that go in to this decision. And now I am MAD that this women even told dh because he is some how going to end up getting stuck in the middle of all this shit.

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

The boss is pushing dh to fire this woman, if he does then who is to say that she won't tell everyone the story and that dh knew and didn't do anything about it. But if he does decide to report his boss, then everyone in the company is going to say that he just did it to get himself ahead because everyone knows he is fighting his way to the top. He could report his boss, the woman could be embarrassed and deny it and then dh is left looking like an asshole and a liar....

UGH I am so sorry if none of this makes sense..it doesn't make sense to me so trying to type it all out was hard lol if you could follow my poor excuse at story telling and made it this far, THANK YOU!!!

So any advice, opinions, questions? I'll be here all night lol thanks ladies!

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Replies (11-20):
lanceandhailey
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:39 PM

 Wow, all I can say is good luck!

Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:40 PM
3 moms liked this

Um, you'd better consult with a lawyer.  This is a lawsuit waiting to happen!  Sounds like he's going to have to report both of them.

GoddessNDaRuff
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:40 PM
He should report it and fire her for trying to put it back on the table. She is basically trying to blackmail her way into the job and your husband's boss is an idiot.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:41 PM
He needs to tell her to report it.
spooky415
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:41 PM
Has your husband done other things to make it seem he will stab people in the back to get to the top? You said everyone knows he is fighting his way to the top-has he done things that would discredit him?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:41 PM

That's what I said to dh! If someone would have done that to me, I would have called hr quit and never shown my face again!

She should have reported it a year ago so that makes me suspicious of her timing, ya know? He is going to have another conversation with her tomorrow, it just caught him so off guard. she threw this at him right at the end of the day, he walked in the door with such a bewildered look on his face lol poor guy


Quoting spooky415:


Morally, he should report it.

Well, actually...she should report it.

If someone tried to seduce me and used a job as leverage to do it, I'd call HR so fast their head would spin. He should put her in touch with the right people.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:41 PM

Go on http://www.avvo.com/and ask a lawyer anonymously.  They will reply for free.

spooky415
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:42 PM
1 mom liked this
That's true. She sure found an opportune time to bring it up...

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

He should report it and fire her for trying to put it back on the table. She is basically trying to blackmail her way into the job and your husband's boss is an idiot.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:42 PM

If an employee tells their supervisor that they have been a victim of sexual harassment (promises of promotions in return for sex) the boss is required by EEOC regulations to report the situation to his HR department.  I have dealt with this before and it can get ugly for those who just hear these sorts of things and don't report it.  It makes them complicit.


Trust me when I say that if your husband doesn't report this, he will be viewed as just as guilty because it was relayed to him.

spooky415
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:42 PM
Exactly. But I'm also curious about how OP said everyone knows her husband is fighting his way to the top. I wonder if he's done things to discredit himself.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I said to dh! If someone would have done that to me, I would have called hr quit and never shown my face again!

She should have reported it a year ago so that makes me suspicious of her timing, ya know? He is going to have another conversation with her tomorrow, it just caught him so off guard. she threw this at him right at the end of the day, he walked in the door with such a bewildered look on his face lol poor guy


Quoting spooky415:


Morally, he should report it.

Well, actually...she should report it.

If someone tried to seduce me and used a job as leverage to do it, I'd call HR so fast their head would spin. He should put her in touch with the right people.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN