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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think dh's life just turned into a lifetime movie......

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I don't even know where to start. I really didn't think things like this happened in real life, well I mean I guess I knew they did just not to us or people we would know. So here's my best attempt at telling this story quickly with out it turning into a novel. Dh is really confused and nervous and we would appreciate any advice you might have.

One of dh's employee's (female) babysit's for their boss on occasion. She tells dh today that about a year ago, their boss told her that him and his wife have an open relationship and that he wanted to sleep with her, he promises her a promotion to be the head of her department, all sorts of crazy stuff. He even tried to seduce her one night with dinner, drinks and cigars. She declined and I guess the issue was dropped after that...not really sure of all the details after that point.

So now the position that the woman was "promised" is open and since dh is her direct boss she is asking him about. Dh tells her that he is not sure which direction they are going with the position yet, that it has just become an option and blah blah blah. Well that is when she tells dh the story about their boss. She tells dh that this made her very uncomfortable along with other things. So now dh doesn't know what to do. He should report? Or should he not? There are so many other factors that go in to this decision. And now I am MAD that this women even told dh because he is some how going to end up getting stuck in the middle of all this shit.

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

The boss is pushing dh to fire this woman, if he does then who is to say that she won't tell everyone the story and that dh knew and didn't do anything about it. But if he does decide to report his boss, then everyone in the company is going to say that he just did it to get himself ahead because everyone knows he is fighting his way to the top. He could report his boss, the woman could be embarrassed and deny it and then dh is left looking like an asshole and a liar....

UGH I am so sorry if none of this makes sense..it doesn't make sense to me so trying to type it all out was hard lol if you could follow my poor excuse at story telling and made it this far, THANK YOU!!!

So any advice, opinions, questions? I'll be here all night lol thanks ladies!

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Replies (21-30):
BEXi
by BEXi on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:43 PM

He needs to stay out of it. Dont tell anyone she told him. It could be something she made up.. Your DH would get the LEAST bullshit backlash from this if he just stayed quiet and did what he was told to do. JMO though.

amandaxshawn08
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:43 PM
They both need to report it.
End of story. No excuses. No exceptions.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
loverfrombeyond
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:44 PM
He should call her in to sign a statement.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:44 PM

Not at all. Dh is a very hardworking and honest man. Everyone knows because he's working his ass off and putting in a lot of extra time trying to get the company to do bigger and better things. He is the youngest person to ever be in his position and he has worked from the bottom of the company to higher management in only a few short years. 

Quoting spooky415:

Has your husband done other things to make it seem he will stab people in the back to get to the top? You said everyone knows he is fighting his way to the top-has he done things that would discredit him?


spooky415
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:45 PM
It was just an interesting way to word it. My husband moved up quickly at his old company...but I wouldn't say he "fought." He just worked his way to the top.

Quoting Anonymous:

Not at all. Dh is a very hardworking and honest man. Everyone knows because he's working his ass off and putting in a lot of extra time trying to get the company to do bigger and better things. He is the youngest person to ever be in his position and he has worked from the bottom of the company to higher management in only a few short years. 

Quoting spooky415:

Has your husband done other things to make it seem he will stab people in the back to get to the top? You said everyone knows he is fighting his way to the top-has he done things that would discredit him?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:47 PM

i am the op lol and i responded to your suggestion that he's done things to "discredit himself"

Quoting spooky415:

Exactly. But I'm also curious about how OP said everyone knows her husband is fighting his way to the top. I wonder if he's done things to discredit himself.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I said to dh! If someone would have done that to me, I would have called hr quit and never shown my face again!

She should have reported it a year ago so that makes me suspicious of her timing, ya know? He is going to have another conversation with her tomorrow, it just caught him so off guard. she threw this at him right at the end of the day, he walked in the door with such a bewildered look on his face lol poor guy


Quoting spooky415:


Morally, he should report it.

Well, actually...she should report it.

If someone tried to seduce me and used a job as leverage to do it, I'd call HR so fast their head would spin. He should put her in touch with the right people.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:49 PM

Since she is considered a victim of the sexual harassment (higher up promising promotions for sexual favors), she can win a monetary award if she is terminated and files a lawsuit.  It would be considered retaliatory for discussing (reporting) a violation of the law.  Managers are required to report anything like this that they hear about.  

OP:  didn't your husband get sexual harassment prevention training at work since he's a supervisor?  My company has a lawyer come in to discuss this annually.

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

He should report it and fire her for trying to put it back on the table. She is basically trying to blackmail her way into the job and your husband's boss is an idiot.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:49 PM

Sorry you don't think that was the right word to use. I just said fought because he's been working his ass off and is one of the only people trying to make the company as a whole better so it's obvious. guess i could have used better words but my heads spinning at this point

Quoting spooky415:

It was just an interesting way to word it. My husband moved up quickly at his old company...but I wouldn't say he "fought." He just worked his way to the top.

Quoting Anonymous:

Not at all. Dh is a very hardworking and honest man. Everyone knows because he's working his ass off and putting in a lot of extra time trying to get the company to do bigger and better things. He is the youngest person to ever be in his position and he has worked from the bottom of the company to higher management in only a few short years. 

Quoting spooky415:

Has your husband done other things to make it seem he will stab people in the back to get to the top? You said everyone knows he is fighting his way to the top-has he done things that would discredit him?



spooky415
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:49 PM
Oh sorry lol. I'm using the old version of mobile so I can't see Anon vs Anon OP. But I get what you're saying.

Quoting Anonymous:

i am the op lol and i responded to your suggestion that he's done things to "discredit himself"

Quoting spooky415:

Exactly. But I'm also curious about how OP said everyone knows her husband is fighting his way to the top. I wonder if he's done things to discredit himself.



Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I said to dh! If someone would have done that to me, I would have called hr quit and never shown my face again!

She should have reported it a year ago so that makes me suspicious of her timing, ya know? He is going to have another conversation with her tomorrow, it just caught him so off guard. she threw this at him right at the end of the day, he walked in the door with such a bewildered look on his face lol poor guy


Quoting spooky415:


Morally, he should report it.

Well, actually...she should report it.

If someone tried to seduce me and used a job as leverage to do it, I'd call HR so fast their head would spin. He should put her in touch with the right people.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:51 PM

Yes and even he said that this is textbook sexual harrassment. This all just happened about 20 minutes before I posted this so he hasn't had a chance to fully process what was told, does that make sense? The story I got was him just basically vomitting all his thoughts and feelings to me at once to try and make sense of it all. Caught him really off guard, ya know?

Quoting Anonymous:

Since she is considered a victim of the sexual harassment (higher up promising promotions for sexual favors), she can win a monetary award if she is terminated and files a lawsuit.  It would be considered retaliatory for discussing (reporting) a violation of the law.  Managers are required to report anything like this that they hear about.  

OP:  didn't your husband get sexual harassment prevention training at work since he's a supervisor?  My company has a lawyer come in to discuss this annually.

Quoting GoddessNDaRuff:

He should report it and fire her for trying to put it back on the table. She is basically trying to blackmail her way into the job and your husband's boss is an idiot.



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