Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think dh's life just turned into a lifetime movie......

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I don't even know where to start. I really didn't think things like this happened in real life, well I mean I guess I knew they did just not to us or people we would know. So here's my best attempt at telling this story quickly with out it turning into a novel. Dh is really confused and nervous and we would appreciate any advice you might have.

One of dh's employee's (female) babysit's for their boss on occasion. She tells dh today that about a year ago, their boss told her that him and his wife have an open relationship and that he wanted to sleep with her, he promises her a promotion to be the head of her department, all sorts of crazy stuff. He even tried to seduce her one night with dinner, drinks and cigars. She declined and I guess the issue was dropped after that...not really sure of all the details after that point.

So now the position that the woman was "promised" is open and since dh is her direct boss she is asking him about. Dh tells her that he is not sure which direction they are going with the position yet, that it has just become an option and blah blah blah. Well that is when she tells dh the story about their boss. She tells dh that this made her very uncomfortable along with other things. So now dh doesn't know what to do. He should report? Or should he not? There are so many other factors that go in to this decision. And now I am MAD that this women even told dh because he is some how going to end up getting stuck in the middle of all this shit.

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

The boss is pushing dh to fire this woman, if he does then who is to say that she won't tell everyone the story and that dh knew and didn't do anything about it. But if he does decide to report his boss, then everyone in the company is going to say that he just did it to get himself ahead because everyone knows he is fighting his way to the top. He could report his boss, the woman could be embarrassed and deny it and then dh is left looking like an asshole and a liar....

UGH I am so sorry if none of this makes sense..it doesn't make sense to me so trying to type it all out was hard lol if you could follow my poor excuse at story telling and made it this far, THANK YOU!!!

So any advice, opinions, questions? I'll be here all night lol thanks ladies!

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:51 PM

This is actually a violation of the law if he's her supervisor.  I wouldn't take this advice because it puts the whole company at risk of an expensive lawsuit.   If she complains to HR (and many do end up complaining) she will tell them that she informed him and he did nothing.  That constitutes creating a hostile work environment.

Quoting BEXi:

He needs to stay out of it. Dont tell anyone she told him. It could be something she made up.. Your DH would get the LEAST bullshit backlash from this if he just stayed quiet and did what he was told to do. JMO though.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Send her off to the HR department to report it there. Or to his bosses boss. You report sexual harrassment to the person OVER the person doing the harrassing-not to the subordinate of the harrasser. If the boss is the one in charge, she needs to go to the laborboard and report it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:52 PM

lol im usually mobile too so i get it. But yea..dh isn't dirty, he wouldnt do anything dishonest or stab someone in the back. that is one of the main reasons i fell in love with him....not many people just completely honest and sincere these days lol

Quoting spooky415:

Oh sorry lol. I'm using the old version of mobile so I can't see Anon vs Anon OP. But I get what you're saying.

Quoting Anonymous:

i am the op lol and i responded to your suggestion that he's done things to "discredit himself"

Quoting spooky415:

Exactly. But I'm also curious about how OP said everyone knows her husband is fighting his way to the top. I wonder if he's done things to discredit himself.



Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I said to dh! If someone would have done that to me, I would have called hr quit and never shown my face again!

She should have reported it a year ago so that makes me suspicious of her timing, ya know? He is going to have another conversation with her tomorrow, it just caught him so off guard. she threw this at him right at the end of the day, he walked in the door with such a bewildered look on his face lol poor guy


Quoting spooky415:


Morally, he should report it.

Well, actually...she should report it.

If someone tried to seduce me and used a job as leverage to do it, I'd call HR so fast their head would spin. He should put her in touch with the right people.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:53 PM

No.  HR is there to handle these issues.  *HE* shouldn't make her do anything.  He should report it to HR and let them take care of it so he doesn't find himself in the cross-fire.

Quoting loverfrombeyond:

He should call her in to sign a statement.


ssassys
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:54 PM

He need to go to the HR department.  He can report it to them and let them delicately handle the situation.  Whether the story is true or not he needs to report it.  Your husband could be brought up on charges, at least in civil court, for knowingly concealing this incident.  Especially if the girl ends up getting fired.  And, if the charges are false, then he is protecting his boss. Both ways he's protecting his company.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:56 PM

He already had a quick "hypothetical" talk with the hr lady before he left the office. so she is aware of the situation but a formal complaint has not yet been filed.

Quoting Anonymous:

This is actually a violation of the law if he's her supervisor.  I wouldn't take this advice because it puts the whole company at risk of an expensive lawsuit.   If she complains to HR (and many do end up complaining) she will tell them that she informed him and he did nothing.  That constitutes creating a hostile work environment.

Quoting BEXi:

He needs to stay out of it. Dont tell anyone she told him. It could be something she made up.. Your DH would get the LEAST bullshit backlash from this if he just stayed quiet and did what he was told to do. JMO though.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:57 PM
If it's an "at will" employment state then anybody can be fired for any reason or no reason. I think you are getting way too worked up over it.
Quoting Anonymous:

He's not going to fire her, she hasn't done anything to deserve to get fired. But HIS boss wants him to fire her for his own reasons..

Quoting hello_kitty25:

In a boss' position , your dh should know to report it! Not fire her. Hello.



HaveFaith1215
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:58 PM

O man thats one fucked up position to be in. Do you guys have the monetary means to consult a lawyer on the matter? Just so that your DH is protected and everything is put on record now. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:59 PM

why am i getting way to worked up over it? im worried for my husband, he is confused and upset because he has friendships with these people as well as work relationships so it put him in a really shitty position on both sides.

Quoting Anonymous:

If it's an "at will" employment state then anybody can be fired for any reason or no reason. I think you are getting way too worked up over it.
Quoting Anonymous:

He's not going to fire her, she hasn't done anything to deserve to get fired. But HIS boss wants him to fire her for his own reasons..

Quoting hello_kitty25:

In a boss' position , your dh should know to report it! Not fire her. Hello.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:00 PM
If your husband is her supervisor and she reported misconduct to him, he is responsible to report that misconduct to his higher up. If his higher up is the person being complained about, then your husband is to go to the creepy guy's higher up. Companies have strict policies for this kind of thing.

If he does not do that, he is subjecting his employer to a lawsuit for sexual harassment and he would then be one of the harassers by keeping the information quiet.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)