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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think dh's life just turned into a lifetime movie......

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I don't even know where to start. I really didn't think things like this happened in real life, well I mean I guess I knew they did just not to us or people we would know. So here's my best attempt at telling this story quickly with out it turning into a novel. Dh is really confused and nervous and we would appreciate any advice you might have.

One of dh's employee's (female) babysit's for their boss on occasion. She tells dh today that about a year ago, their boss told her that him and his wife have an open relationship and that he wanted to sleep with her, he promises her a promotion to be the head of her department, all sorts of crazy stuff. He even tried to seduce her one night with dinner, drinks and cigars. She declined and I guess the issue was dropped after that...not really sure of all the details after that point.

So now the position that the woman was "promised" is open and since dh is her direct boss she is asking him about. Dh tells her that he is not sure which direction they are going with the position yet, that it has just become an option and blah blah blah. Well that is when she tells dh the story about their boss. She tells dh that this made her very uncomfortable along with other things. So now dh doesn't know what to do. He should report? Or should he not? There are so many other factors that go in to this decision. And now I am MAD that this women even told dh because he is some how going to end up getting stuck in the middle of all this shit.

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

The boss is pushing dh to fire this woman, if he does then who is to say that she won't tell everyone the story and that dh knew and didn't do anything about it. But if he does decide to report his boss, then everyone in the company is going to say that he just did it to get himself ahead because everyone knows he is fighting his way to the top. He could report his boss, the woman could be embarrassed and deny it and then dh is left looking like an asshole and a liar....

UGH I am so sorry if none of this makes sense..it doesn't make sense to me so trying to type it all out was hard lol if you could follow my poor excuse at story telling and made it this far, THANK YOU!!!

So any advice, opinions, questions? I'll be here all night lol thanks ladies!

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Replies (41-50):
Sagely
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:00 PM
I don't know the right answer, but I would tell your dh to encourage her to report the issue to the HR department.

For all other actions, he needs to document his decisions and the reasons behind them.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:01 PM
Any reason or no reason, yes.

Because you won't sleep with the boss? No.

Quoting Anonymous:

If it's an "at will" employment state then anybody can be fired for any reason or no reason. I think you are getting way too worked up over it.



Quoting Anonymous:

He's not going to fire her, she hasn't done anything to deserve to get fired. But HIS boss wants him to fire her for his own reasons..

Quoting hello_kitty25:

In a boss' position , your dh should know to report it! Not fire her. Hello.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:02 PM

I know! lol we do, not a bad idea i guess!

Quoting HaveFaith1215:

O man thats one fucked up position to be in. Do you guys have the monetary means to consult a lawyer on the matter? Just so that your DH is protected and everything is put on record now. 


momof6nokc
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:03 PM
Your husband needs to counsel her to report the incident HERSELF.
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HaveFaith1215
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:03 PM

I would definitely consult with one. Like asap. 

Good luck! 

Quoting Anonymous:

I know! lol we do, not a bad idea i guess!

Quoting HaveFaith1215:

O man thats one fucked up position to be in. Do you guys have the monetary means to consult a lawyer on the matter? Just so that your DH is protected and everything is put on record now. 



BEXi
by BEXi on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:06 PM

This is true... IDK work laws such as that- if your DH has a lawyer, id suggest he make a call.

Quoting Anonymous:

This is actually a violation of the law if he's her supervisor.  I wouldn't take this advice because it puts the whole company at risk of an expensive lawsuit.   If she complains to HR (and many do end up complaining) she will tell them that she informed him and he did nothing.  That constitutes creating a hostile work environment.

Quoting BEXi:

He needs to stay out of it. Dont tell anyone she told him. It could be something she made up.. Your DH would get the LEAST bullshit backlash from this if he just stayed quiet and did what he was told to do. JMO though.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:06 PM

that's what im thinking. but what if she doesn't want to ..then what does he do? 

Quoting momof6nokc:

Your husband needs to counsel her to report the incident HERSELF.


SageAdvice
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:07 PM

 I'd ask her to put it - her request - in writing. I would also report it immeditatly to H.R. To ignore it, is unprofessional and also puts him at risk of being accused of covering it up for his boss.

There really isn't a question of what he SHOULD do. It's a question of ethics.

 

Some times you just have to punt the ball.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:07 PM

Tell him to do that first thing to tomorrow.  HE doesn't file a "complaint" though.  He informs HR that a situation was brought to his attention and they will grill him on what was said.  Then they start an investigation.  His report to them is informational and he needs to draw no conclusions or assumptions based on the one conversation.  He needs to stay neutral when he talks to them.  Never say if you believe one party of the other.  Just stick to the facts.  

"Employee A came to me and said this happened with Employee B.  Sexual harassment prevention training said we must report any notification of wrongdoing, so I am reporting the conversation for investigation."

Quoting Anonymous:

He already had a quick "hypothetical" talk with the hr lady before he left the office. so she is aware of the situation but a formal complaint has not yet been filed.

Quoting Anonymous:

This is actually a violation of the law if he's her supervisor.  I wouldn't take this advice because it puts the whole company at risk of an expensive lawsuit.   If she complains to HR (and many do end up complaining) she will tell them that she informed him and he did nothing.  That constitutes creating a hostile work environment.

Quoting BEXi:

He needs to stay out of it. Dont tell anyone she told him. It could be something she made up.. Your DH would get the LEAST bullshit backlash from this if he just stayed quiet and did what he was told to do. JMO though.




ilovemykids323
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:09 PM

 this

Quoting Anonymous:

That sucks. If I was him I would deny she ever told me. She obviously is only bringing it up now because of the open position. So that makes me question if it really happened.

 

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