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What would you do?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies
Step son, 20 has lived with us full time since he was 15. He choose us because his mother was leaving him alone til all hours of the night, t at bars getting drunk. She was always yelling at him and using him as a weapon against DH and as a spy.

(Same old story for most im sure)

Still SS has fought hard to maintain a relationship with her. She lies to him constantly. She lives 3 states away, we found out more then once she was here, partying (we live in a beach town) but didnt tell SS she was here.

She missed his proms, graduation, and every birtbday. Now SS is moving into his own apartment tomorrow, not only has she not offered to buy him anything. Help him do anything, she told him she is now moving even further away from him. And she sent him a package, all of his baby pictures and childhood pictures. She said he will have more use for them then her. What?!

My kids will get their baby pictures out of my cold dead hands.

(Btw, she isnt poor, she runs a very sucessful dental practice, and we refused child support so she has money to help him)

Would you say something to her? SS is constantly upset, has huge mommy issues and is always angry. he calls me his real mom and we are close but she is his MOTHER!
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:05 PM
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Replies (1-4):
delilahsmom1177
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:08 PM

If she hasn't done anything by now don't ask... It will end it hurt that is all.  Good luck and at least he has a great step mommy.

I'm a tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:11 PM
Thank you. I feel so bad. And I think what if she needs to be told that she is hurting him. But I dont think she cares.


Quoting delilahsmom1177:

If she hasn't done anything by now don't ask... It will end it hurt that is all.  Good luck and at least he has a great step mommy.


delilahsmom1177
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:12 PM

IT seems like she doesn't and that is sad. He knows you love him and when he becomes a dad he will see how much it really means.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I feel so bad. And I think what if she needs to be told that she is hurting him. But I dont think she cares.


Quoting delilahsmom1177:

If she hasn't done anything by now don't ask... It will end it hurt that is all.  Good luck and at least he has a great step mommy.



I'm a tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

Birdseed
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:14 PM
1 mom liked this

No, I wouldn't do anything other than encourage him to get into counseling.

It's hard to let go of toxic people when they're your PARENTS.   But this sort of thing can have very long lived impacts on future relationships and life.  So it's something he probably should try to sort out with a therapist.

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