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Rule books for Breastfeeding, Vaccines and More

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:18 PM
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I didn't realize until coming to CM and reading so many of the posts that apparently there are super secret rule books regarding breastfeeding, vaccines and other aspects or choices of raising children. 

I have noticed that if you are a parent or expecting your first child that certain "rules" must be followed or apparently your doing it wrong. Some examples:

We plan on breastfeeding. My husband and I have discussed this and we decided that it is less about nursing and more about our son having the nutrients of the breastmilk. This were my words...keep that in mind. We also discussed that DH wanted to be part of every aspect of our sons life. This included being able to feed him during feeding times. For this reason, we decided to use a breast pump. This is not only to help store milk for our son, allow my husband to take part in feedings, but is also so if I produce more milk than my son needs we will be donating it to a local organzation that supplies breastmilk to mothers who cannot nurse.

Apparently, or so it would seem, my DH should have no active role in this. I have the boobs and the milk so I should be the only one involved. Since I want to donate extra milk, agree that my husband when he says that he wants to be part of feeding and other aspects and I'm more concerned with the breastmilk aspect rather than the nursing aspect....I am just a horrible entity and should be beaten to death with the breastfeeding manual and super secret rule book until I learn my place as a milk supplier.

This goes on to vaccines as well. I got in a conversation a few weeks ago where I simply stated that we had chosen to vaccine and that we had chosen to do dealyed vaccinations. The thing that most people were stuck on is the fact that I said "we". I'm sorry my DH being a part of the choices regarding our child offends people. I didn't realize that loving my husband, having a husband who actually wanted children and to be an active father in their life and having a marriage where both parents discuss things is a crime. Apparently it is and not only is it a crime, but having choices with my DH and not sticking to a hard rule book line of either we 100% vaccine or we 100%don't is a problem.

I just don't get. Is it really all that bad to make choices as a couple and as parents? Is it really bad to have a DH that wants to be active and wants to be included in choices on his own child? Is it really against some super secret rule that if we use a breastpump, have delayed vaccinations or choose to make our own baby wipes but not go completely "crunchy" we are no longer parents or we are somehow doing something evil?

CafeMom Tickers
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:18 PM
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