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My kid is just average and I am embarassed.

Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

All of my friends brag about their genius children who are in the gifted program, doing some amazing thing in math or reading at a super high level.  My 8 year old is just average.  He reads on target, does just what is needed in math and actually could stand to work on his writing.  My husband and I were both in the gifted program growing up, I was Salutatorian of my graduating class, we both graduated with honors and in NHS.  I just feel a strong need for him to succeed academically and he's not.  I just wish I had something to brag about to my friends.  Does that make me a terrible parent?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:21 PM
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:25 PM

I think every parent wants their child to do well, but if you pressure them into something you want them to be it will just make them want to do something else.  I would be glad that he is not behind on things.  If there is a subject that really interests him maybe get him a tutor?  Or see if he is interested in a sport or instrument.  

by Emerald Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:25 PM

You do have something to brag about. He is not acting out and is doing well in school. Who cares if he is not in a gifted program or not.

My oldest has speech delay and some learning disablities. She is in special needs classes and I am proud of her and let others know. I don't care if she is gifted programs or not. She is smart and working hard to improve her life.

by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:25 PM
Well.... I filled my quota early this morning already on being shitty, so I'm just gonna leave it at that.

I'm pretty sure i quit caring what others thought back in grade school. Idk what the point is in comparing kids. They're all awesome and gifted in their own way.
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:26 PM
Wanting your child to succeed is normal, not seeing the fantastic person that they are for themselves even if they are not in some gifted program is not cool. I have four kids and they all excel at different things, one is intellectual in a literary way, one is intellectual in a spacial/mathematics kind of way, one is outgoing and sports oriented and one is socially outstanding... while some of them are not on the honor roll, they are all magnificent in one area or another.
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:27 PM

It makes you a parent who is going to miss out because you don't feel blessed for what you have. There's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed over, your son is perfect. Learn to see that or he is going to pick up on how you feel and you'll lose having a good relationship with him.

by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Yeah, I have a feeling my daughter will just be...average. I was average as well. My parents always told me I was so brilliant, but yet I never tested out of my grade and was never placed in gifted programs. My parents always wondered why and told me I was sooooo smart. Yeah, no, I was fucking average.

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:28 PM

He will succeed, he already is. I just witnessed my dd kick a soccer goal, after three seasons playing she finally is opening up and playing the game. 

by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:28 PM

 I struggled with this with my own son..  Because I was so sure all 3 of my children were going to be like I was..

Too advanced for my own good.  A leader.  Wise beyond my years..   THAT child all the other parents envied..

I'm not entirely sure where my younger two will fall.. But my son isn't average, he's actually got some below average marks in school..  Not all, but in a few subjects.  And he's a sheep, not a leader.  But you know what? He's the most compassionate child I've ever known.  He's sweet.  He's protective.  He's funny.  He loves unconditionally... He's MINE.  And he's perfect. 

Your baby is only 8.  Give him time, he's going to amaze you :)


There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.

by Sarah on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Well, not a terrible parent, but it is a terrible thing to think. I'm sure he's gifted in some area. All kids are. My oldest is extremely intellectually gifted, my dd is very artistically talented, my youngest knows more about animals and dinosaurs than any 3 year old I've ever met. I'm so incredibly proud of each of them. They count on me to be their cheerleader and to be proud of them no matter what. It seems like you need to reevaluate your priorities and realize every wonderful thing about your son and not just the areas he's lacking in.
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:29 PM
You have to recognize your child's strengths. I have 2 gifted children and 2 children who are average academically. My 2 average kids excel in other areas and have more common sense than the other two. Maybe your child just hasn't found his passion yet. Help him explore his talents and interests.
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