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Single mom to boys...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

I have two boys, ages 12 and 10.  They have no real male role models in their life.  Their dad sees them (maybe) once a year at Christmas.  My dad is an alcoholic and not someone they could turn to for advise.  I have a brother but we are just barely on speaking terms.  So, I have had to be mom and dad for them.  Since my oldest is... well, getting older... there are things that he really needs a guy to talk to.  

I have found where he has been searching for naked pictures on the computer, his Kindle and my phone.  I got a bit curious when my phone came up missing twice during his long "bathroom sessions".  I found everything today.  I didn't over react.  I remember being extremely curious about things around that age.  I did let him know that doing that will not be tolerated.  I explained as best as I could about the changes he is going through, why those pics are so interesting to him (but WAY OFF LIMITS) and that he could come to me ANYTIME with questions.  I know I can answer his questions from a mom and female perspective but I don't think that is what he needs.  I don't know what to do.  I feel so bad for him that all he has is me...  

Any other moms had to deal with something like this... any advice?



Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
20Keller12
by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:16 AM
1 mom liked this
I would find a male doctor/counsellor he can see and talk to regularly.
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angie729
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:17 AM

Yep..single mom to 3 boys..they are 19,18 and 9. My dad is good and does what he can but he lives 8 hours away and my mom has cancer so he has his hands full. My oldest two boys talk to him every day sometimes twice a day. Im thankful that they have a good relationship with him and are pretty close despite the distance.

reaandiziesmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:19 AM

Is there a Big Brother or other mentor program in your area? It might be worth looking into. My kids big brother has a mentor and he has been WONDERFUL with him.

20Keller12
by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:19 AM
Just thought of this. What about male friends or even male coworkers you're friendly with?
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msalice_21
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:29 AM
I'm having these same questions too lately. But my kids are 4 and 6. My oldest just told me he told his friends he has a new daddy. My bf and I have been together for 7 months :(. I had to explain to him that I'm sure drew is very flattered to have him think of him as his dad but drew is our friend. And we may love him like family, which is okay, but he is just our friend. Drew was very touched but he was slightly taken back. He doesn't have kids and I'm the first person he's ever dated who has kids. He's never really been around kids either. So we have been taking everything very slow and have been VERY open about everything. Im hoping that drew and I do stay together long enough for the boys to have that special relationship but I'm not pushing for it. Drew is truly a wonderful person and I would be really happy if the boys looked up to him and were able to talk to him.
Sunshine257
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:32 AM
That must be difficult. I agree with another poster about getting a male counsler.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:18 AM


Thank you for the advice.  I will check on counsellors.  I didn't think about that.  They have a great doc but I can't see him having that kind of talk with them. 

Quoting 20Keller12:

I would find a male doctor/counsellor he can see and talk to regularly.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:21 AM

It's good that your boys have a good relationship with your dad even if they are so far away from him.  

Mine love my dad... but I would honestly hate to think what he would tell them when it came to issues like puberty and sex.  They would be scared for life. LOL

Quoting angie729:

Yep..single mom to 3 boys..they are 19,18 and 9. My dad is good and does what he can but he lives 8 hours away and my mom has cancer so he has his hands full. My oldest two boys talk to him every day sometimes twice a day. Im thankful that they have a good relationship with him and are pretty close despite the distance.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:23 AM

There is no Big Brother program in my city (even through it's a pretty big city).  I don't know about other mentor programs.  I will try to search some out.  

Quoting reaandiziesmama:

Is there a Big Brother or other mentor program in your area? It might be worth looking into. My kids big brother has a mentor and he has been WONDERFUL with him.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:26 AM

I run a company for my dad.  The only make workers are kids themselves (early 20's).  I lost all of my male friends when I got married (picked a jealous jackass to marry).  The few friends that still live here are single like me. :/

Quoting 20Keller12:

Just thought of this. What about male friends or even male coworkers you're friendly with?



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