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Single mom to boys...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have two boys, ages 12 and 10.  They have no real male role models in their life.  Their dad sees them (maybe) once a year at Christmas.  My dad is an alcoholic and not someone they could turn to for advise.  I have a brother but we are just barely on speaking terms.  So, I have had to be mom and dad for them.  Since my oldest is... well, getting older... there are things that he really needs a guy to talk to.  

I have found where he has been searching for naked pictures on the computer, his Kindle and my phone.  I got a bit curious when my phone came up missing twice during his long "bathroom sessions".  I found everything today.  I didn't over react.  I remember being extremely curious about things around that age.  I did let him know that doing that will not be tolerated.  I explained as best as I could about the changes he is going through, why those pics are so interesting to him (but WAY OFF LIMITS) and that he could come to me ANYTIME with questions.  I know I can answer his questions from a mom and female perspective but I don't think that is what he needs.  I don't know what to do.  I feel so bad for him that all he has is me...  

Any other moms had to deal with something like this... any advice?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:13 AM
Replies (11-13):
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:59 AM

You might check with some of the churches around town or if you are a member of one they might have some one who would like to mentor. Also my boys benefited from being in sports. Their school counselor might have some suggestions as well. Some schools in my area have mentoring programs. Good luck to you!

Quoting Anonymous:

There is no Big Brother program in my city (even through it's a pretty big city).  I don't know about other mentor programs.  I will try to search some out.  

Quoting reaandiziesmama:

Is there a Big Brother or other mentor program in your area? It might be worth looking into. My kids big brother has a mentor and he has been WONDERFUL with him.

by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:01 AM

My father is more constant in his life than his real father, and is a great role model, so I'm lucky.

But... are pictures of naked people really that bad.......? I mean, I'm a little torn on the issue to be honest, but, it's normal to want to see that..

I understand not wanting it on your phone.


by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:05 AM
First of all, I wouldn't scold him for doing something that's very natural. I wouldn't want him using my phone and such for it, and I would ask him to respect that. Now about the male role model, ask the counselor at their school for suggestions. I know here there is a 'Big Brother' program for situations like yours. I was a 'Big Sister' when I was about 19-22 years old. It's a great program!
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