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whats a reasonable time limit..

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
When it comes to moving in with a new girlfriend/boyfriend when there are children involved?

And I mean children from a previous relationship.

Lets say your ex got a girlfriend, how long would you hope he would wait before moving her into the house your children live part time?

My ex lives with his new girlfriend. They have only been dating about a month. I don't find this very appropriate. But maybe thats just me. Thoughts?
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 6, 2013 at 1:54 AM
Replies (71-80):
bellawomen
by Summer on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:01 AM
I don't care, fight for it. Mine didn't either, until I told him that was fine. When if he would like the dirty laundry aired in front of the courts to allow the judge to decide we can do that. I will fight for my son's safety, end of story.

My husband (in the process of divorce now) cheated on me with several women. During our separation he has our one Saturday nights only overnight because of his work schedule. Until the last say 6 weeks, he has chosen to instead use that one chance a week to sleep around with other women. I knew I had to protect my son. I had a mother who changed boyfriends more than underwear. It was hard on me as a child, really hard. I won't let that happen to him. I don't care if there is a step mom for him. If his father can change his ways and find another woman to love my son like I do, he will only be better for it. I won't have my son exposed to weekly flings or internet flings though.


Quoting Anonymous:

We have court Monday. Obviously he isn't going to agree with what I want considering he sees nothing wrong with moving in so soon.



Quoting bellawomen:

At least a year.





A month? DO you even know someone's parents at a month? Their middle name? Come on. Now you are sharing shower space....uh no.





This is why my child custody agreement will state no one can be around my son unless my husband has been dating them at least 3 months and they cannot spend the night unless she has been around my son for 6 months (this is to ensure he doesn't wait to introduce for 9 months and then suddenly she move in). We both agreed to this.
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mommyof2kids401
by Amy on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:01 AM
When your child is involved it is your business.

Quoting Anonymous:

Exactly. But I guess its none of my buisness say some people.



Quoting mommyof2kids401:

I think a year. In a month you barely know someone.
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ashellbell
by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:03 AM
Well, in the name of doing what's best for your child, I hope you guys can learn to get along. All of you sound a little off. He sounds like a douche, she sounds immature and you seem a little scorned. I'm guessing gee cheated on you at some point? How old are all of you?


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't care to have a relationship with her until I know she's going to stick around. This is his 4th girlfriend in 5 months.



Also, I don't like her and I don't even know her. She has texted me saying that ex doesn't want to be in DSs life and that I need to leave ex alone. And saying that DS isn't even his.



I think that's a reasonable amount of reasons not to want to get to know her.



So no.. there's no way we could sit down. I can't even be face to face with him without fighting.



Quoting ashellbell:If he marries her, your child will still be around her and the agreement you make might bite you in the pooper with your future romantic endeavors. Is there any way you guys (all 3 of you) can sit down and reach an agreement or did your relationship end on bad terms?





Quoting Anonymous:If she's that special to marry after only a month. Kudos to him. I'm going to fight for what I think my child deserves and doesn't deserve.



Quoting ashellbell:You can try and fight it but if he's already moving her in, he might marry her if faced with something like that.





Quoting Anonymous:We have a custody hearing coming up. Which is why I'm asking.





Quoting ashellbell:

Honestly, unless you have something in your custody agreement, what we or you think doesn't matter.



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Flobrooks
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:05 AM

They better wait until they are married or the kids will spend no time there.  I would not want them to grow up thinking that dating and shacking and marriage are all the same. A parent with loose or no morals is not a good influence on growing children, and "everybody does it" does not cut it. 

Texa5
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Considering that I was never one for commitment prior to my husband I see a slimmer chance of searching for it after him, if we ever divorce. I'd be divorced and newly single, there would be no reason to tie myself down. A lot of fun could happen in the year. It could be fun that turns into a commitment or just be that--fun. I think finding someone that I am compatible with is far more important than the time frame of which I see fit to introduce the new dude and my son.

If he's a keeper then it'll be worth the wait. My son will always be around, the new guy may not. I see no time as time wasted, but that's just my opinion.

Quoting bellawomen:

I would not waste a year of my life with someone if I didn't know if he/she was compatible with my child. I want to get to know them before introducing them to my son, but it wouldn't be a year.

Quoting Texa5:

I recently discussed this with a friend, I told him I'd probably wait a year before ever introducing my son to any man after my husband. And moving in? Ha! My best answer is when I felt like the new guy was marriage material. Now would I marry him? Probably not. 


KGreen75
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:14 AM

over a year in a committed relationship.

Sunshine257
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Never lol. If I was single no one would be
moving in with me. Too many crazies. No seriously I guess if it was my ex I would hope for at least a year.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:12 PM

That's what I thought.

Quoting mommyof2kids401:

When your child is involved it is your business.

Quoting Anonymous:

Exactly. But I guess its none of my buisness say some people.



Quoting mommyof2kids401:

I think a year. In a month you barely know someone.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:13 PM

No. He never cheated. At least not that I know of. Lol. I came home from work one day and he was gone. All his things were packed and he left our son with the neighbor. So yeah. I have some issues with him obviously.


im 21, ex is 23, and his gf is 24.

Quoting ashellbell:

Well, in the name of doing what's best for your child, I hope you guys can learn to get along. All of you sound a little off. He sounds like a douche, she sounds immature and you seem a little scorned. I'm guessing gee cheated on you at some point? How old are all of you?


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't care to have a relationship with her until I know she's going to stick around. This is his 4th girlfriend in 5 months.



Also, I don't like her and I don't even know her. She has texted me saying that ex doesn't want to be in DSs life and that I need to leave ex alone. And saying that DS isn't even his.



I think that's a reasonable amount of reasons not to want to get to know her.



So no.. there's no way we could sit down. I can't even be face to face with him without fighting.



Quoting ashellbell:If he marries her, your child will still be around her and the agreement you make might bite you in the pooper with your future romantic endeavors. Is there any way you guys (all 3 of you) can sit down and reach an agreement or did your relationship end on bad terms?





Quoting Anonymous:If she's that special to marry after only a month. Kudos to him. I'm going to fight for what I think my child deserves and doesn't deserve.



Quoting ashellbell:You can try and fight it but if he's already moving her in, he might marry her if faced with something like that.





Quoting Anonymous:We have a custody hearing coming up. Which is why I'm asking.





Quoting ashellbell:

Honestly, unless you have something in your custody agreement, what we or you think doesn't matter.




jojo_star
by Jojo on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:14 PM

Dh and I didn't move in together until we were married. We both had kids already. We got married 6 months after we we and started dating, and my son and I moved in then with dh and his son. A month is awfully fast. 

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