Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

So, if a kid has a meltdown in a restaurant

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Do they have just as much of a right to be there as everyone else? Someone in a post said if their kid is in a meltdown and others don't like their autistic child having a meltdown, it's the quiet people who need to leave. Do you agree?

"your not going to stop a strong willed mother from taking her beautiful child out to dinner if she sees fit. Meltdown or not.. and I would LOVE to see a restaurant try to kick us out because my child has a medical issue. Bring it on.. Because you can believe this momma wouldn't go down without a fight in a matter of speaking"
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:18 AM
Replies (21-30):
rosemagic01
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:34 AM

Nope. My kid has issues that we deal with. If he's having a melt down he's removed from stores/restaurants as quickly as possible. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:34 AM
8 moms liked this
Your solution is to IGNORE it? Are you kidding me?
So everyone else should ignore it because you don't feel like dealing with it?

Quoting ValRiggs:Lol.. I love how you keep hididng behind 'annonymous'.. In any event.. I was mainly referring to the times when we are out of town and have no choice but to take the children out to dinner.. YES my son throwns tantrums sometimes (not all the time) but yes.. He is autistic.. Simply giving him crayons and paper to color does not work. In most cases when I try to redirect his attention, he lashes out even more, so the best thing for me to do is ignore it.. and he will eventually stop. It might take 5 minutes it might take 10. But that's my decision. Like I said in the other post.. We do have a right to be out in public as well. I get so sick and tired of ppl always being so judemental. We are all adults here for crying out loud.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ValRiggs
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:35 AM
1 mom liked this

Hmm.. Well when we are 2 hours away from home.. and my child has not eaten because they were in dr. apts all day having testing done which required an empty tummy.. Then I think I'm going to choose making my child eat.. then removing them from an upsetting situation. You pick your battles.. and sometimes.. You just can't help being put in certain situations. I was NOT stating in any way shape or form that I take my son out on a daily basis to eat and let him throw fits out in public all the time.. But If I have no choice in the matter, then yes, I'm going to do it.. and I have a right to. Just like you have a right to sit there and make judgements.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:36 AM
23 moms liked this
That's when you get your food Togo and you eat in the car.


Quoting ValRiggs:

Hmm.. Well when we are 2 hours away from home.. and my child has not eaten because they were in dr. apts all day having testing done which required an empty tummy.. Then I think I'm going to choose making my child eat.. then removing them from an upsetting situation. You pick your battles.. and sometimes.. You just can't help being put in certain situations. I was NOT stating in any way shape or form that I take my son out on a daily basis to eat and let him throw fits out in public all the time.. But If I have no choice in the matter, then yes, I'm going to do it.. and I have a right to. Just like you have a right to sit there and make judgements.


NiCo86
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:36 AM
4 moms liked this

No, I take responsiblity for my child's actions. If we are eating out as a family, and he has a melt down, I will leave the restaurant with him and sit in the car until he can calm himself down. If he can't get himself under control, then I text/call DH and tell him to have our meal wrapped to go and pay the bill. Usually once he's in the car and calms down some we can talk and he gets over his issue, only once have we had to leave in the middle of a meal. But no, I think it is rude (special needs or not) for a family to allow their child to be so disruptive in a public place (be it a restaurant, the store, or even the library!)

ValRiggs
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:38 AM

Actually ignoring his tantrums works very effectively and is what all his doctors and therapist have recommended.. As they too have tried redirecting his attention to no avail. So yes.. We ignore. If it gets TOO severe.. he does get punished... But when we are at home punishment involved simply sending him to his room and turning the tv off.. He has put holes in the walls from lashing out.. and I find when we ignore that type of behavior.. it for one.. does not get to be quite as violent.. and for 2.. doesn't last as long.. He feeds off our attention be it positive or negative.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:41 AM
9 moms liked this
I feel like I'm being punked. Seriously, people aren't really that rude, right? You are kidding me and just playing devils advocate, right? Almost every other parent who commented said they would remove their child. Guess common sense doesn't apply to you and your kid, right?


Quoting ValRiggs:

Actually ignoring his tantrums works very effectively and is what all his doctors and therapist have recommended.. As they too have tried redirecting his attention to no avail. So yes.. We ignore. If it gets TOO severe.. he does get punished... But when we are at home punishment involved simply sending him to his room and turning the tv off.. He has put holes in the walls from lashing out.. and I find when we ignore that type of behavior.. it for one.. does not get to be quite as violent.. and for 2.. doesn't last as long.. He feeds off our attention be it positive or negative.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:42 AM
3 moms liked this
I've never heard of a therapist recommending you to IGNORE A MELTDOWN IN A RESTAURANT! You ignore at home!


Quoting ValRiggs:

Actually ignoring his tantrums works very effectively and is what all his doctors and therapist have recommended.. As they too have tried redirecting his attention to no avail. So yes.. We ignore. If it gets TOO severe.. he does get punished... But when we are at home punishment involved simply sending him to his room and turning the tv off.. He has put holes in the walls from lashing out.. and I find when we ignore that type of behavior.. it for one.. does not get to be quite as violent.. and for 2.. doesn't last as long.. He feeds off our attention be it positive or negative.


ValRiggs
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:42 AM

Call it what you want.. Your all entitled to your opinions.. But trying to eat in the car with 3 kids and 2 adults.. Is not an easy thing to do and I don't feel I should have to do that.. You can it selfishness.. I call it my right.. Either way you spin this subject, there are always going to be different views. I admite I HAVE left places because of my sons tantrums and the fact I could tell everyone and their mom was staring and gawking.. But there's also been times I have just dealt with it.

rosemagic01
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:42 AM
21 moms liked this

You need a reality check. You have every right to be in public but its common courtesy to take your kid outside when they are melting down. Take your child out to dinner no problem but take him outside to sit and scream while you ignore him rather than allow him to melt down while people are trying to eat. 

If this happens often you also need to reevaluate taking your kids to restaurants. Sorry but I know what its like to have a kid who melts down with noises/lights/crowds. You need to be aware of what your kid can and can't handle and if he can't handle being in those situations its on YOU as his mother to not put him in those situations until he is able to handle them. Otherwise you are effectively torturing him which is not only rude to others that have to listen to the poor child but horrible as a parent to knowingly put your child that struggles in such situations. From age 2-5 we didn't eat in restaurants at all. We always did take out. Had to. There was no way my son could handle sitting down being still and not being loud because he couldn't handle it. We as his parents did what was best for him. You need to do whats best for your kid. I think if this is such a big topic for you then there's a whole lot more your not willing to admit about your childs needs. That makes you the one who needs to grow up and accept your situation. Not others who should deal with your situation because you don't and won't handle it.  

Quoting ValRiggs:

Lol.. I love how you keep hididng behind 'annonymous'.. In any event.. I was mainly referring to the times when we are out of town and have no choice but to take the children out to dinner.. YES my son throwns tantrums sometimes (not all the time) but yes.. He is autistic.. Simply giving him crayons and paper to color does not work. In most cases when I try to redirect his attention, he lashes out even more, so the best thing for me to do is ignore it.. and he will eventually stop. It might take 5 minutes it might take 10. But that's my decision. Like I said in the other post.. We do have a right to be out in public as well. I get so sick and tired of ppl always being so judemental. We are all adults here for crying out loud.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)