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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I want the truth. Race.

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:36 PM
  • 101 Replies
My SO is a black man. I am white.

His sister (35) and I have been rocky from the start. He didn't introduce me to her until I was almost due for our baby... I see why now. She admitted to me that she chased away all of SOs exes (or at least was a mega cunt to them), but that I was "straight" for now... wtf ever that means.

So, I dealt with her overbearing-ness during the first month of DS1 life, over at my house until ungodly hours in the morning. I walked on eggshells as to not offend her, because I felt like my race is and was an issue. It seems like no matter what I do, how I act, or what I say, she doesn't like me. She's rude. Period.

I don't like confrontation- that's not who I am anymore. I put my days of reckless behavior behind me.

SOs friend and I were discussing this. He is also black. He claims she feels like I need to bow and show respect because she is a proud black woman. I need to be humble because I have a "good black man". I must show respect at all times... but... I'm the ONLY white person in this house all day every day. I am the "minority" here, so why can't I feel the same way?

How about YOU as a visitor, show ME respect because I'm a white woman who's proud of herself
Better yet, I'm a proud WOMAN. Period. Color doesn't even matter. Yes, my boyfriend supports me and didn't abandon his child... but that's EXPECTED. Doesn't always happen, but its what you're SUPPOSED to do. Why are we giving him cookies because he's black and didn't abandon his family? If he were white would you feel the same?

So, honest truth:
Black/AA ladies, do you feel this way about yourself and white women ? Is this REALLY an issue?

ALL WOMEN: How do I say what I feel without them calling me racist?

Sorry for typos.
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by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hp2011
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:37 PM
Bump
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Love060708kids
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow!  That is a tough one :/ 

I would just tell her that you respect her as the Aunt to your child(ren), and she needs to respect you for being the mother to her nephew(s)/Niece(s).

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Were his other exs white?
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-_-
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:40 PM
4 moms liked this

Ummm.... take race out of it. Ask for respect because it's your home. Not because you're white. 

A race card never trumps a race card.

hp2011
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:41 PM
One was middle eastern and the other 3 white.

Quoting Anonymous:

Were his other exs white?
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weezer_cookie
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:41 PM
Wow I have no idea.
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HousewifeNina
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this
How about "respect all around" in your home? Remove the proud black from the equation.
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periwinkle163
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:41 PM
4 moms liked this

 Just don't bring race into at all, talk to your so and let him know the disrepect in your own home has to stop and you would appreciate him backing you up on this matter. Tell her that you respect her relationship with her brother but that she needs to be more respectful of your relationship with him. Nobody respects a door mat.

LaceNBklyn
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Um honestly I think you're making it a race thing and over reacting. She said she chased away all is ex's not all his white ex's. Why do you assume its about race? Maybe she never feels anyone is good enough for her brother. Did that cross your mind? If he was white also would you see it like that? Also your friend is entertaining foolishness by even putting that into your head.
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hp2011
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:41 PM
I know, I said "race doesn't matter".

Quoting -_-:

Ummm.... take race out of it. Ask for respect because it's your home. Not because you're white. 

A race card never trumps a race card.

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