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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

SDD got kicked out of school

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 95 Replies

SDD is 14 and a freshman in high school. She gets good grades, her GPA is usually between 3.3 and 3.5. However, she often gets in trouble. Usually it's smaller things like dress code which we can't do much about because they are days she goes to school from her mom's house so we don't see her that morning. But she has also be caught smoking in school, skipping class and being disrespectful to her teachers. Last week, she was caught with weed so she is being sent to a detention school, she will have to be there for the rest of this year and until the middle of next year.

There are downsides to this. First of all, even though she is in advanced classes, she will only be in regular classes in the detention school as they don't offer any advanced classes, you work at your grade level or below if  you have to. This means that when she comes back to her regular school, she will not longer be eligible to be in advanced classes. To get into the next years advanced class, you have to either have been in that years class or have recommendation from the current teacher, it is unlikely that any teacher will do her a favor at this point. Secondly, she will be going to school with the worst of the worst kids in her school district (apart from those who are in juvenile detention.)

Me and DH talked and  the only other solution would be to home school her (not through the county, so it would be very expensive)  or to put her in private school. Homeschooling wouldn't work because she is with her mom half the time and her mom wouldn't make her do her work, I don't have time to home school her and neither does DH because of work and because it's not through the county, it would be very expensive. Private school wouldn't work work because of the cost, most private schools won't take kids headed to the detention school but those that do are very expensive.

DH agrees that homeschooling wouldn't work but thinks we should put her in private school. He is worried about sending her to a detention school. Her mom has no money to help with this and obviously, she wouldn't get any kind of scholarship. DH works on salary so he wouldn't be able to work extra to make the money and working a second job isn't a possibility. He pointed out that if I worked a extra shift almost every week (about 8 weeks a year I wouldn't have to work extra) that would raise the money.

I told him that I wasn't willing to do that, I already work 40 hours a week and don't want to take more time away from the kids (I have a 13 and 17 year old at home and a 20 year old and a 24 year old with 2 children of her own). If I am going to bust my butt working extra like that, I would want the money to be used for something for everyone, not save someone from a punishment they deserve.

Dh is mad at me 1. because I won't work overtime to put her in private school and because 2. I feel she should suffer the consequences of her actions. I am a bit shocked at how selfish he is being.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:06 AM

Perhaps he and bm cant work out the money. I agree with you.

mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:07 AM
2 moms liked this
Good luck here.
with these women with this situation there is there's no way you're going to win this argument.

I for one think that if she is going to be put into a private school her biological parents need be the ones to foot the bill
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tlcory
by Platinum Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:08 AM
3 moms liked this

Why doesn't HER Mom get a 2nd job? Put it back on the bio Mom, your DH is being unreasonable.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:12 AM

She also works on salary, she has 3 other kids so she doens't have any extra money and getting a second job wouldn't be possible for her either



Quoting tlcory:

Why doesn't HER Mom get a 2nd job? Put it back on the bio Mom, your DH is being unreasonable.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:13 AM
2 moms liked this
No usually I don't agree with the step moms unwilling to help out, but I completely agree with you. As far as I'm concerned she made her bed. She needs to get her shit together. I think the detention school would be the better option. If your dh has such a problem tell him to get a second job.
lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:13 AM
3 moms liked this

I would never pay for a private school for a teen like her.One that is smoking weed and being mouthy. There would be no way In hell I would work more.

JessicaEOH
by Silver Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:15 AM
What are the reasons your dh can't get a second job?
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ajdahd13
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:15 AM

I agree with you. That's his daughter, and him and her mother need to figure it out. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Thank you. Side note, he is not allowed to get a second job, it is in his contract at work, if he does so, he would be fired



Quoting Anonymous:

No usually I don't agree with the step moms unwilling to help out, but I completely agree with you. As far as I'm concerned she made her bed. She needs to get her shit together. I think the detention school would be the better option. If your dh has such a problem tell him to get a second job.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:16 AM


he is not allowed to get a second job, it is in his contract at work, if he does so, he would be fired not to mention, he puts in so much time at work, I don't know when he would work a second job anyway


Quoting JessicaEOH:

What are the reasons your dh can't get a second job?



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