Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

SDD got kicked out of school

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

SDD is 14 and a freshman in high school. She gets good grades, her GPA is usually between 3.3 and 3.5. However, she often gets in trouble. Usually it's smaller things like dress code which we can't do much about because they are days she goes to school from her mom's house so we don't see her that morning. But she has also be caught smoking in school, skipping class and being disrespectful to her teachers. Last week, she was caught with weed so she is being sent to a detention school, she will have to be there for the rest of this year and until the middle of next year.

There are downsides to this. First of all, even though she is in advanced classes, she will only be in regular classes in the detention school as they don't offer any advanced classes, you work at your grade level or below if  you have to. This means that when she comes back to her regular school, she will not longer be eligible to be in advanced classes. To get into the next years advanced class, you have to either have been in that years class or have recommendation from the current teacher, it is unlikely that any teacher will do her a favor at this point. Secondly, she will be going to school with the worst of the worst kids in her school district (apart from those who are in juvenile detention.)

Me and DH talked and  the only other solution would be to home school her (not through the county, so it would be very expensive)  or to put her in private school. Homeschooling wouldn't work because she is with her mom half the time and her mom wouldn't make her do her work, I don't have time to home school her and neither does DH because of work and because it's not through the county, it would be very expensive. Private school wouldn't work work because of the cost, most private schools won't take kids headed to the detention school but those that do are very expensive.

DH agrees that homeschooling wouldn't work but thinks we should put her in private school. He is worried about sending her to a detention school. Her mom has no money to help with this and obviously, she wouldn't get any kind of scholarship. DH works on salary so he wouldn't be able to work extra to make the money and working a second job isn't a possibility. He pointed out that if I worked a extra shift almost every week (about 8 weeks a year I wouldn't have to work extra) that would raise the money.

I told him that I wasn't willing to do that, I already work 40 hours a week and don't want to take more time away from the kids (I have a 13 and 17 year old at home and a 20 year old and a 24 year old with 2 children of her own). If I am going to bust my butt working extra like that, I would want the money to be used for something for everyone, not save someone from a punishment they deserve.

Dh is mad at me 1. because I won't work overtime to put her in private school and because 2. I feel she should suffer the consequences of her actions. I am a bit shocked at how selfish he is being.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:04 AM
Replies (91-95):
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:09 AM

so its not possible for her bio parents to put her in Private school so your husband wants you to work extra shifts to cover the cost oh hell no i  agree if they cant do it then she has to sufferer the consequences of her actions

by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:16 AM
You all should focus on her behavior,if you don't work out her other issues she will just get kicked out of private school. Most private schools don't issue refunds either.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:08 AM

I wouldn't do it.

She did what she did, and now she will pay the consequences. Sucks, but that's life.

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:39 AM

I agree with you. 

While I totally understand how and why he doesn't want this mistake to have such a long term effect on her educational outcome, the onous shouldn't be on you to fix the problem...exspecially at such a sacrifice to your own well being and the rest of the family,

Maybe your husband can get a second job to pay for it...but I am thinking that

Your SD should get a part time job that would help keep her out of trouble and the money used can pay for school. 

Or maybe see if there corresponces school program that offers PA classes that she can do in the summer. 

by Mrs. Tennant on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:39 PM

 I agree with you.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)