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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Dumping your mom in a nursing home...

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:15 AM
  • 99 Replies
I feel so bad for my grandma. She is 88 years old and lives alone. Her one and only husband cheated on her right after my mom was born. My grandmother came to the US alone with her two daughters. Lived her whole life for them. Never remarried or even had another relationship with another man. Her oldest daughter moved to another state while my mom stayed around. She is now getting to the point where she can't live alone. She's not eating right, doesn't clean her house anymore and is always depressed. My mom and aunt have been searching for nursing homes for her. Obviously she doesn't want to go. My mother won't move her in with her and neither will my aunt. I just moved two hours away. If I could, I would take her in but I know she wants to stay close to my mom, sister and grandkids. It just gets me upset that neither of her daughters are willing to sacrifice to move her in. Our mothers spend their life doing for us, we should only do it for them when it is time. :(
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by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:17 AM

That sucks! I am hoping my mom just drops over dead one day. I don't want to put her in a nursing home, sometimes people really just aren't capable of caring for the elderly.

AmberRose1122
by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this
In some situations nursing homes are best, but if your aunt and mom are capable then they should step up. My grandfather belongs in a nursing home, he forgets constantly where he is and what he was doing, he is prone to strokes and diabetic shock, and cannot use the restroom himself. My mom moved in with my grandparents to help and my sister and I take turns spending time there. Even with the medical training I have I'm not always prepared for what may happen and I'm not always there. My mom also has two young boys to care for and that makes a big difference as well.
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lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:20 AM

 Sometimes children can't take them. My dad had Parkinson's disease. I have health issues. I would have loved him to be here. There was no way I could care for him they way he needed to be.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:21 AM
I couldn't agree with you more! It's beyond sad how easily some people dump their parents in homes. I pray my husband and I can save enough to afford a nurse if/ when the time comes. And my mom will never have to worry about that. I'd never put them in a home.
KairisMama
by Emerald Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:23 AM
4 moms liked this
It's not easy to care for someone who needs CONSTANT CARE. Its emotionally and physically draining and causes a great deal of stress to an entire household. My mom did it for YEARS, and got to the point where she literally could not accommodate grandma anymore. She's cared for in a home now.
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4_little_angels
by Platinum Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this
I understand that some women are not close with their mothers or resent them for something and could care less. But my grandma was not a bad mother. This woman has the heart of an angel. She sees no wrong in anyone.

Quoting thenameshailie:

That sucks! I am hoping my mom just drops over dead one day. I don't want to put her in a nursing home, sometimes people really just aren't capable of caring for the elderly.

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ajdahd13
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:25 AM

It's hard work taking care of an elderly person. I would keep my mom, and take care of her because I've worked in a nursing home, but not everyone can do it. 

seemommyrun
by Sue daNim on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:25 AM

 My mom wanted to keep my grandma with her, but she didn't have the physical strength to do so.  Many illnesses. 

My mom found a wonderful place for my grandma, though, and went there every day to have lunch with her.  (and to make sure she was being treated properly, because you just never know)

MistyMoo
by Ruby Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this
I plan to keep my mom home for as long as I possibly can. She's 67 right now, so she's got a while yet, unless something happens. I'm so thankful that I have the job that I do. I will know exactly how to get care for her in the home when she needs it. I work for the Red Cross and I do personal care and respite for people in the community. Most people I work with have the service fully funded by one local organization. I wish we would have known about all this when we were caring for my dad at home
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:26 AM
I hve told my dh that if my father ever needs to live with someone he can move in and he agreed. But as far as his father or his loser grandmother they can root hog or die.those skanks are not comin in my home.
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