Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Denied: Accepting My Identity

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:16 PM
  • 83 Replies
Upon coming out to my family after my son was born, I reached out to various mom groups that were mostly composed of other LGBT families. This worked out great for play dates and such. I have a gay uncle who said," if you don't make it wired to them (children), they won't ever think its weird. " So our son has socialized in the same groups since he was born. For a majority of his life, he has been raised in a lesbian household. I haven't seen a problem with this.

For the last year I have been in a very stable relationship. One that I have proclaimed to be the best one I've ever been in. If seen in public, you'd probably say we are the straightest gay couple you've ever seen. My partner has fit into my lifestyle very well with family and friends. However, since my partner has come out to friends as transgender, I am getting mixed reviews. I no longer am welcome at the lesbian parent groups. This is frustrating. I've tried talking to a few friends in this group. I have explained that just because my partner has changed identities, it doesn't mean that I have. I guess I have been blessed this far to think that the LGBT community as a family. I don't understand the need to segregate myself.

What would you do?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:16 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
laurenryan
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:40 PM
Bump
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DarksMama
by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:44 PM

That seems awfully narrow minded of the group, but sadly, I've seen it before. 

xLilBit22
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:45 PM
Let me start off if thats the both of u in ur avitar pic very cute couple (: but oh man i am sorry this is going on. I wouldve figured they'd be accepting. Im not sure what u could do in this case bc any female i was with was transgender or wanted to be. But much good luck to u and hope u find understanding friends love. Im here if ur in need of a good vent.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:49 PM
Transgender as in what is your partner, male or female born?
laurenryan
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 7:45 PM
My partner is bio- female, but he carries on his life as male. He is still pre-op, but has started the psych process.


Quoting Anonymous:

Transgender as in what is your partner, male or female born?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
laurenryan
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 7:46 PM
It is narrow minded, but I can't fix all the cracks in the sidewalk. Lol


Quoting DarksMama:

That seems awfully narrow minded of the group, but sadly, I've seen it before. 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
laurenryan
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 7:48 PM
Thank you. That was very nice of you to say.

Unfortunately as much as the community seems to be more accepting, many still are not.


Quoting xLilBit22:

Let me start off if thats the both of u in ur avitar pic very cute couple (: but oh man i am sorry this is going on. I wouldve figured they'd be accepting. Im not sure what u could do in this case bc any female i was with was transgender or wanted to be. But much good luck to u and hope u find understanding friends love. Im here if ur in need of a good vent.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DarksMama
by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:02 PM

True that. 

Quoting laurenryan:

It is narrow minded, but I can't fix all the cracks in the sidewalk. Lol


Quoting DarksMama:

That seems awfully narrow minded of the group, but sadly, I've seen it before. 



randomosityblog
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:09 PM
1 mom liked this

That's really crappy of the LGBT groups to be acting that way when they know first hand how hard it can be to get accepted.

However, being trans is completely different than being lesbian or gay, so the community is still getting used to it all. I think it's going to take some time, and I'm not saying it's OKAY for them to exclude you guys, but  hopefully you can find new friends that will ACTUALLY be friends.

randomosityblog
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:10 PM

We have a hard time making friends in the LGBT community because we have kids and lead a very boring life, while all the LGBT folks we know are all worried about partying and fucking each other. :(

Quoting laurenryan:

Thank you. That was very nice of you to say.

Unfortunately as much as the community seems to be more accepting, many still are not.


Quoting xLilBit22:

Let me start off if thats the both of u in ur avitar pic very cute couple (: but oh man i am sorry this is going on. I wouldve figured they'd be accepting. Im not sure what u could do in this case bc any female i was with was transgender or wanted to be. But much good luck to u and hope u find understanding friends love. Im here if ur in need of a good vent.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)